Why must I be awake.
#another victim of the woke agenda
@natalieironside what's it like being one of the funniest mother fuckers on the planet?
I wish it paid more
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
wallacepolsom
occasionally subtle
Not today Justin

Janaina Medeiros
Misplaced Lens Cap

if i look back, i am lost
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
noise dept.

sheepfilms

JBB: An Artblog!
art blog(derogatory)

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izzy's playlists!
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@stagofwar
Why must I be awake.
#another victim of the woke agenda
@natalieironside what's it like being one of the funniest mother fuckers on the planet?
I wish it paid more

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What the fuck
It's a yellow bittern! They are very creechur.
[x] [x]
Nature is incredible, you can really see just at a quick glance how these evolved to speak together in rhyming riddles while performing a spooky dance, laughing at you because they're The Wee Creatures Three and you will Never Get Their Key.
foot to head ratio off the charts
you, uh, want some bathtub grappa?
not unless it's Uncle Scary's.
Here's that May the 4th drawing I was meaning to do.
If you have a good star wars pun for the 13th, please pretend that's what I wrote here instead xD

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I often think about that post that was a fake dating profile for a cat that was all about chickens, like wanting someone with posable thumbs for opening chickens.
This is one my favourite things the internet has ever made.
!!!!!!
This remains one of the great art objects of modern times and nobody will convince me otherwise.
I had a dream about Columbo at a drag show. This is what came from it.
I'm waiting for him to explain to me how his newfound love of drag allowed him to prove I killed my business partner
last day to reblog
Trying out digital shading!

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I bet those astronauts are pretty excited to be the farthest from Earth anybody's ever been. You might even say they're over the moon about it
@elodieunderglass - This made me think of you.
Thank you so much for this
no nuance you have to decide
would jeeves have succumbed to the one ring?
no, he would diminish and go into the west and remain a valet
yes, he can't resist such power (burn bertie's ugliest trousers)
the ring has no effect on him, tom bombadil style
4 days left in the most important 'thoughts had just before going to sleep' poll I've ever made
"Well, Jeeves," I said, "That seems to be that."
"A consummation greatly desired," Jeeves agreed.
"The forces of darkness vanquished, the rightful king upon his throne, and all that. And, even more importantly, Tuppy Glossop disengaged from that horsy female and returned to the bosom of my cousin Angela."
"Indeed, sir."
"Rather a shock running into the Reverend Aubry Upjohn riding that fell beast, what?"
"I though you displayed great alacrity in relocating to that ditch in the nick of time, sir."
Far below us, the molten lava did a rather spirited impersonation of boiling soup. I mopped the p. off the b. with a handkerchief I'd improvised from an orc loincloth. I had been to some deuced uncomfortable country estates in my time, don't you know, but at least there one had been able to toddle downstairs and pour oneself a quick W. and S. as needed to stiffen the sinews. Galadriel's Buck-U-Uppo was excellent at vitalizing the limbs to forge on the last dreadful mile and all that, but it lacked the comfort that speaks to the soul.
I contemplated the glowing river. "Redirecting the army of Aunts to that Isengard place was a stroke of brilliance, I thought."
"You are too kind, sir."
"Still, all things must end, as they say. Travel is broadening to the mind and all, but it is past time to attend the call of heart and home. Among other considerations, I think something took residence inside this mithril shirt somewhere around the Morgul Vale and has been wandering about biting hither and thither ever since, and I am filled with the desire to strip it off and do battle with the blighted thing."
"Understandable, sir."
"I heard rather a good one the other day: Sing hey! for the bath at close of day that washes the weary mud away! -and by Jove if I don't think they were on to something, Jeeves."
"It is undeniably felicitous to be surrounded by the comforts of home," he assented, and yet I couldn't escape a certain sense of firmness about his gaze.
I sighed, for I knew what he wanted. Well, I mean, I'm all for taking a firm stance and not being trodden on in one's own home and all, but as far as rallying around to save the young master goes, none could have rallied more greatly than Jeeves. If a little firmness was the price I had to pay, well, so be it.
Slowly I undid the old school tie from around my neck. It was harder work than one would have thought; as if it could hear what was rattling around in the old brain, the ring that was threaded on it put in a last surge of effort in the gleaming and enticement department, filling my mind with heady visions: Freddie Widgeon gnashing his teeth as I sank yet another dart into the bullseye, Aunt Agatha wreathed in tears and begging my forgiveness for ever having misjudged me, Jeeves gazing admiringly as I displayed my newest waistcoat for his edification…
It was the last that broke the spell. Cursed objects of all-consuming power were all well and good in their sphere, but there were limits, don't you know? And yet I hesitated. "You don't think I could slip it on and just have a quick total domination of the world before I toddle around to the Drones for a stiff one?"
Jeeves gave a gentle cough of reproof. "I think you will find it for the best, sir."
It was a wrench, but one could not deny the man had earned it. With a heavy hand, I held the ring out to him. "Take it, then. You will know what do with it, I'm sure."
He took it from me with the sort of shimmer that showed he was exceptionally gratified. "Thank you, sir."
I watched as the ring fell from his hand into the depths below. It hit the lava and rested there for a moment before slowly sinking beneath the glowing surface, and as they caught fire I almost felt that the Old Etonian colors glowed brighter in approval. That Wooster, they seemed to say: not much in the brains department, but he gets the job done.
Outside, there came a hideous wailing as of something ages old abruptly losing the power which bound it to this mortal plain and all that, which I took as our signal to leg it down the nearest drainpipe before things got sticky. The road goes ever on and on, what? Yet I paused there, at the end of all things, because some things have to be said.
"No, thank you, Jeeves."
THANK YOU for understanding the assignment, bally good work, this.
@elodieunderglass I suspect you may enjoy this
Hahahaha; thanks @foxofninetales well done!
My favorite brand of people are musicians who hear Rush Fucking E, which isn't technically meant to be played by a human at all, and immediately picking up their instrument and going 'bet'.
getting lost in boston is fun because I turned around on a street corner three times and some guy yelled "hey stupid! the bus is that way!" very helpful interaction and accurate insult, 10/10 no notes
one time I walked around a building a couple times looking for a bathroom and this guy went "this bitch thinks she's on a merrygoround, where the fuck are you tryna go? bathroom? one floor down to the right behind the door that says bathroom."
My very first time in Boston. I was absolutely miserable, trying to drag my giant suitcase up a lengthy set of stairs in the pouring rain. This guy who had already reached the top looked back at me with the most pure expression of disgust I’ve ever seen in anyone’s eyes, marched back down the stairs, grabbed my suitcase, carried it to the top, left it there for me, and walked away without ever saying a word. I think about him often.
For the people in the notes going "why is Boston like this": a) the insults are a way to show you have no ulterior motives when helping someone (and don't need to be thanked or repaid), and b) Boston was settled by the Irish
also the Italians. mixing Irish and Italian sociocultural attitudes had the effect of multiplying the Sass Levels by the power of infinity, in the sense that you get all of the clever dry wit of the Irish and all of the bitchy gossipy condensation of the Italians rolled into one very stereotypically overly-friendly American package.
also worth noting that who you are to them doesn’t matter. they’ll talk to strangers like that and will also talk to their best friends like that. they’re just Like That.
More from the notes:
Every time I see this post someone has added a new roundup to it. So I just have to keep reblogging it. What a tragedy. Anyway,
this post is very good, but upthread I am cracking up 'cause...
"all of the bitchy gossipy condensation of the Italians"
IDK if it was a "whoops wrong word!" or if autocorrect got a little handsy, but I am cracking up at the mental image of Bostonians being dry-witted and damp-bodied (from the water in the air collecting on them). XD

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If you know who Emmett Till is please reblog.
I’m trying to prove a point to my dad.