DietSpam @dietspam16 - Tumblr Blog

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yesterdaisyy

gonzos-humansona

Woman in front of me in line at the caffe nero changed my life yesterday when she ordered a prosciutto sandwich but pronounced "prosciutto" like it rhymed with mosquito. "Pruh-squee-toe."

I heard this person say "uhhhh yeah can I get a prosquito sandwich please?" and I knew I'd never be the same. Prosquito. Prosquito. Its everything to me. I haven't been able to stop saying that lmfao. This is my spinch. This is my bagel and creem cheems. This is my ranibow sprimkle.

friends and family are already tired of me going crazy over prosquito but its so special to me

relevant-wikipedia-articles

can you add relevant articles to some of my posts please?

Potentially. If I knew who you were lol

godisafujoshi

Buss that, I say BUSS THAT pussy open, for Dr. Leghorn (OBGYN)

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grootficguy

i tried explaining to this girl at a party once how i could be gay and asexual at the same time and it basically boils down to never being into anyone but like once a year i’ll find a man attractive. and she was like “so what am i if i only like girls, and i’ve never found any of my boyfriends attractive and and i just wanna do cocaine all the time?” i was like “you’re a lesbian with a coke addiction?” and she was like “woooooah”. she broke up with her boyfriend that night and had a threesome with two girls in the bathtub. rebecca if you’re out there, i hope you’re going places. well, not far, since you’re electronically tagged. but spiritually.

larval-tear

me: and this one is called “butter dog,” basically it’s a dog with butter on him

Werner Herzog: You put butter on the dog’s head? Very ugly. That’s very ugly. You have disgraced the animal. It is unnatural. It is abhorrent. Please do not show me this again.

sandmandaddy69

get-thee-to-a-shrubbery

cleanedupcorporationprogress

boothyghost

all-save-challenge

I love this post especially the rat part

going on me feed

trolleybusaberrations

what do you mean there are exactly zero rats i. this post

Stumped nurses by breathing so weird that they couldn't tell i was actually breathing....

When the one nurse actually mentioned watching my breathing, I had stopped without thinking.

dietspam16

username checks out

aru

Tumblr Code.

geekishchic

If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

always reblog tumblr identification

hobbinch

This is an absolute tumblr relic. I feel like an archaeologist right now. This is incredible that this is on my dash.

heritageposts

date of origin: 2nd of july, 2012.

blingblingboy-kinnie

Bro what it’s the second of July 2020. Happy 8th anniversary of this classic tumblr post!!!!

tumbalendar

Happy Birthday Tumblr Code!

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hxgrl

This is fucking awesome LMAOOOO

article link

theinstagrahame

This is peak game design

ofashandcog

Dont leave this in the tags, prev

verajustsaid

I can bear her loads if she wants

cipheramnesia

Did anyone else get the advertisement with the digital panda that dies pushing a baby panda out of it's very overt panda pussy

cipheramnesia

I guess not everyone finds the pussy poppin' panda as hilarious as I did

cipheramnesia

t-shirt that says "I flushed away 100k gallons of drinkable water to show pregnant pussy poppin' panda, and all I got was this t-shirt"

cipheramnesia

"The miracle of life!" [angelic choir] *cork popping sound*

tauforged

why does my caladium act like she is starving for light. hang on

tauforged

every day i ahve to reposition the damn lamp cuz she’s dead set on sticking her first leaf Right The Fuck In There and i don’t want her to burn. but every day i come home from work and she has closed the distance anyway. bestie PLEASE cooperate with me

tauforged

i finally caved and moved her to the windowsill but this has clearly not satisfied her because she still presses that leaf RIGHT up against the glass

tauforged

apparently instead of actually growing new leaves in order to increase her light intake she’s decided that these are PERFECT conditions to flower in

BABYGIRL YOU HAVE ONE LEAF PLEASE

hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard

just learned about farming simulator

I mean, I already knew about it, but I just learned about it

Did you know that the target audience for Farming Simulator is actual real-world farmers? Because I didn’t. I just assumed that farmers probably don’t want to go home from a day of farming to do some (presumably highly inaccurate) virtual farming?

Like, imagine if the target audience for Power Washing Simulator was actual professional power washers.

Farming Sim gets sponsored by companies and shit to put ads in their games. But since the game is for farmers, all of the ads target farmers. Advertising products that, realistically, only farmers would be interested in. Aka John Deere tractors and shit.

There’s a fucking farming sim esports league. Where do they play? Agriculture conventions. not gaming conventions. agriculture conventions.

hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard

post cancelled this is way funnier

loaf--of--toast

My buddy who is a farmer has the type of planter that drives itself across the field using GPS at a steady speed, and he just needs to turn it around at the end of each row. He added a little folding desk to his chair and plays farming simulator on it while he plants.

hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard

okay playing farming simulator while farming is crazy

needsmoreexplosions

nudityandnerdery

Look, people hate the real world and come home and play The Sims.

tfemflightinstructor

talking-fox-actual-deactivated2

I upset a few people in my intro to western philosophy class with this one.

missouriangothic

furbearingbrick

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

infectiouspiss

you're mommy's good little printer aren't you? you'll print whatever mommy tells you to because otherwise mommy gets sad and leaves you for one of those free use library printer sluts

infectiouspiss

mommy needs you to print this document now and if you don't mommy is going to turn you off at the wall

infectiouspiss

listen to mommy okay? if you don't be a good little printer and fucking print my document and i know you want to okay mommy can see it in your print queue if you don't. print. my fucking document. mommy's going to get the hammer

melgillman

Here’s HSTHETE, the 24 hour comic I drew this year! Thanks to everybody who followed along on twitter this weekend as I posted these pages <3

PS: if you liked this, there’s a whole book of these comics available now!

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