Bababooey 🧙‍♂️🪄

Ulterior motive? No I have posterior motive. Let me see that ass.

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

this is just truthslop.you believe it because it happens to conform to reality

It’s summer now so i feel like i have to remind everyone that there is no need to “lock in” or lose weight

We do, however, still need to drink water

a pit of dread forms in your stomach as you parse my "evil baby on board" decal and realize you have a moral duty to rear end my vehicle as hard as you can

when men get too jacked they start looking like crash bandicoot

I literally cant stop being cute. and annoying