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anything for my princess 🩵

communist zohran forcing us to roast alive at 172F

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neonprotagonist

Girls Scouts encounter Bigfoot the most frequently. Part of their oath is to keep him a secret because he’s very kind and makes up 30% of their revenue due to his fervent love for thin mints.

hlahlahlahlahly

As a Girl Scout leader, I am telling you that this is NOT true, and any former girl scout that says it is, should think about what they are saying and what oaths they may have sworn in the past

tauforged

why does my caladium act like she is starving for light. hang on

tauforged

every day i ahve to reposition the damn lamp cuz she’s dead set on sticking her first leaf Right The Fuck In There and i don’t want her to burn. but every day i come home from work and she has closed the distance anyway. bestie PLEASE cooperate with me

tauforged

i finally caved and moved her to the windowsill but this has clearly not satisfied her because she still presses that leaf RIGHT up against the glass

tauforged

apparently instead of actually growing new leaves in order to increase her light intake she’s decided that these are PERFECT conditions to flower in

BABYGIRL YOU HAVE ONE LEAF PLEASE

indigobuntings

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

krystal-prisms

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

gosh I enjoy this website

authoratmidnight

For comparison, this is a daffodil

quietlygrousing

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

maejacrezz007

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

$fractiousrvt blog's avatar$

fractiousrvt

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

blood-trip-god2

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

delphinidin4

This is a marigold:

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

jmtorres

“buttercups” is a name applied to MANY flowers. in my part of the south it was this one:

imo there’s correct identifications of dandelions, daffodils, easter lilies and marigolds in this thread, but buttercups are simply impossible to agree on and the only solution is for everyone to post pictures of their local buttercups

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

demon-and-human

Hello I would like to add to the confusion:

That purple fella is a Morning Glory as told by my mothers (texan)

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

⬆️ morning glory

huehueiamabaguette

wait so if thats morning glory what is this?

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

sinnerenjoyer-deactivated202605

whoever made the decision to make umpires wear cameras... you are a legend

this is genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen

teaboot

beg for your life, tennis boy

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coast-modern

I was 12 years old in 2011.... you could NEVER make me hate stomp clap hey music

coast-modern

How it feels to be 10 years old and hear Little Lion Man for the first time

keepcalmandcarriefischer

I feel lied to. This is where the bugs bunny NO meme cokes from

an-enigmatic-mind

liquid-geodes

Ah lads they fucking rotated him

keepcalmandcarriefischer

kalianos

yan-town

ythok

Me, reading this whole post:

pope74220

NOW it’s you

keepcalmandcarriefischer

Oh yea? Well guess what bro

polyphonetic

fallenwillow44

Best post I've seen all day

dat-physics-gal

keepcalmandcarriefischer

ericvilas

null-the-void-monarch-offical

LEAVE ME FOKIN’ X-AXIS ALONE

yourunusalartist

"Cokes from"

audioexorcisms

Lets dissect uncle to find his wish gland

designerpets

this is why commas are so

important 🤓

audioexorcisms

Where do you think the comma goes

sabertoothwalrus

I love when someone is explaining instructions to a group I’m in and they look at me and it reminds them to say something about using preferred names/pronouns or that there’s vegan food options available. I go by my given name/pronouns and I’m not vegan but I’m proud that I can provide this service

batbetbitbotbut

ruffboi-mags

So apparently, over the summer, Quibi (the shortest-lasting streaming service ever lmao) did a quarantine project called “Home Movie: The Princess Bride” where a bunch of celebrities recreated The Princess Bride in tiny chunks at home.

And like there was no permanent cast, all these celebrities seem to have gotten a scene or part of a scene to do (i’m not sure exactly, I did not ever watch Quibi and thus haven’t seen this yet), and then they just… recreated it as best they could. At home. Under quarantine.

So like, you had Jennifer Garner in a blanket cape playing Princess Buttercup AND the Booing Old Woman with a crowd comprised entirely of stuffed animals:

Or Taika Waititi paying Westley off a badly-drawn Inigo on a piece of cardboard held in front of someone’s face:

And it’s all just delightful.

But my absolute favorite part of this thing that I’ve sadly never seen but assume is probably absolutely hilarious and a treasure and I want to find it some day and watch the whole thing… is that Carey Elwes is in it.

As Prince Fucking Humperdink.

movebackintime

https://youtu.be/lR8pA_WV9QI

Here ya go

laziestgirlintown

In case you need a comfort watch and because Youtube search nowadays sucks rancid farts, I remind you of the Princess Bride Home Movie from the lockdown, starring everybody

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megamindsupremacy

Beautiful dash pull

birdplushie

"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!

magn-animously

DIG

14-opossums-in-a-trenchcoat

DIG

buriedunderyourmum

DIG

hannisconfused

DIG

kitsunesakii

DIG

yourlocalfandomfriendo

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

thatghostthateatspeople

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

OOPS TOO DEEP

CLIMB

CLIMB

CLIMB

CLIMB

CLIMB

CLIMB

having being anti death penalty as one of my core beliefs is fun because it really makes me realize how even progressive people want soooooo badly for there to be a category of people they can kill. I'm sorry but "group of people okay to kill" does not exist.

soupevil

Video of me trying to write the number 3 in professor layton game for 1 minute

psychuan

this fucking video has two punchlines it's incredible

shinraalpha

i do think lobbying for data centres over climate goals should be considered a crime against humanity btw

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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cryptotheism

I always wanted to be the guard that tells only lies

cryptotheism

I mean I've actually never wanted to be that.

cryptotheism

Stupid stupid stupid. C'mon. At this rate I'll never be a lie guard.

brothermouse-skeleton

As a professional guard who always lies, don't worry about it, you're doing great.

vitabreva

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