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@callme-mxtt
i'm also @liioncourrt // @maayhemvotee incase anyone was wondering...

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My babies
Her name is Cheesecake || Bat!Mom ||
A/n: Second part to Claws and Claws
Bruce knew something was off the moment he stepped into the study.
There, in all its regal, long-haired glory, was a cat. A pristine Himalayan with piercing blue eyes and an expression that screamed entitlement. She was perched like royalty on the cream suede couch Bruce had custom imported from Italy.
She looked him dead in the eye.And refused to move.
āā¦What the hell is that?ā Jasonās voice came from behind, armed with a broom like he was squaring off against a lion.
āThat,ā Bruce said slowly, āis a cat.ā
āI know itās a cat, Bruce. Why is it here? And why did she hiss at me like I burned her favorite Prada purse?ā
Bruce sighed. āThatās my couch.ā
āWas your couch,ā Tim said, stepping in with a phone out. āSheās been kneading it with her claws for the last forty minutes. You can actually hear the leather dying.ā
āI tried to get her off,ā Dick offered with a helpless shrug. āShe just growled at me. I think sheās possessed.ā
āShe is not possessed,ā came your calm voice as you entered, holding a baby bottle and wearing flour on your shirt. āHer name is Cheesecake.ā
Bruce blinked.
āCheesecake?ā
āShe used to be Chanel,ā you explained, setting the bottle down to adjust Martha in your arms. āBut Thomas renamed her. Selina gave her to me.ā
Damian, from the corner, raised an eyebrow. āMother, that is a purebred Himalayan valued at $50,000. Selina gave her to you?ā
āShe stole her,ā you said simply. āAnd a few other things. Because someone snapped the necklace your father gave me and called me fat at the gala.ā
Bruce worked his jaw reminding himself to find out where that woman lived as every male turned to Bruce in unison.
Bruce just let out a deep exhale. āOf course she did.ā
Jason snorted. āOkay, I take back the broom. Thatās a damn power move.ā
Cheesecake blinked lazily and flicked her tail as if she owned the room.
And then Thomas ran ināgrinning, arms flailing.
āCheeeeeeesecake!ā
The cat instantly meowed, leapt off the couch, and strutted over to him with the grace of a queen answering her court jester. She let him pick her up, her giant fluffy body melting into his arms as he giggled and hugged her.
āSee?ā you said with a smile. āShe likes him.ā
āShe tolerates me,ā Bruce muttered under his breath.
Cheesecake glanced back and narrowed her eyes at him.
āI think thatās putting it generously,ā Tim added.
āø»
That night, Cheesecake slept curled beside the babyās bassinet, one paw gently touching Marthaās blanket. She purred when you tucked them both in.
Bruce peeked in later, only to find the cat hissing when he reached to adjust the blanket.
You gave him a kiss on the cheek. āSheās just protective.ā
āSheās judgmental,ā Bruce whispered. āShe stares at me like Alfred when Iāve broken a vase.ā
You grinned. āWell, she is Selinaās.ā
And for once, Bruce couldnāt even argue.
āShe belongs with Selina,ā Tim said reasonably, arms crossed.
āYeah, like⦠ethically,ā Dick added. āWe donāt need a cat that hates us and shreds furniture for sport.ā
Jason grunted. āShe hissed when I looked at her. Looked, not touched. Thatās not normal behavior.ā
āShe prefers women,ā Damian offered flatly. āClearly. And Todd is a disgrace. The feline has standards.ā
Bruce was quiet for a moment, arms folded, brow furrowed as he glanced toward the study door where Cheesecake had once again claimed the sunniest spot on the couch like a furry queen.
āMaybe itās better if Selina takes her,ā he finally murmured. āSheās not exactly a Wayne family pet.ā
What none of them noticed was the small figure just outside the hallway.
Thomas.
His little socks too quiet on the tile.
His favorite sippy cup dangling from one hand.
His bright eyes wide as saucers.
He only caught one part:
āMaybe itās better if Selina takes her.ā
Cheesecake was his best friend.
His nap buddy.
His secret-keeper during bedtime stories.
The one who sat with him when he was sick and let him use her fluffy tummy like a pillow.
And nowā¦
They were taking her away?
āø»
By the time the boys heard the soft hic and sniffling gasp, it was too late.
Thomas burst into the roomāred-cheeked, lips trembling, eyes overflowing.
Cradling Cheesecake against his chest like a knight guarding a princess, he wailed:
āYou c-canāt t-t-take her! Sheās my baby!ā
Fat tears dripped down his cheeks as he hugged the cat tighter.
Cheesecake, surprisingly, did not protest. She simply rested her paw on his shoulder and glared at everyone like they were dirt under her designer paws.
āSweetheartāā Bruce tried, stepping forward.
Thomas backed away, still crying.
āMoooooommYYYY!ā
āø»
You were in the kitchen, humming as you cut strawberries for a tart when a small, trembling voice wailed:
āMamaaaa! They wanna take Cheesecake away!ā
The bowl clattered to the counter.
You turnedāflour still dusted on your sleeves, hair pinned up, eyes softāuntil you saw your son.
Red-faced. Tears pouring. Clutching the Himalayan cat like his life depended on it.
Your entire face changed.
The scowl was instant.
āWhat,ā you said slowly, voice sharp and dangerous, āis going on?ā
Bruce, frozen at the kitchen door, opened his mouthāthen closed it.
The boys shuffled behind him, suddenly very interested in the tile floor.
āWell?ā You arched a brow, hands on your hips. āWhy is my baby sobbing about you trying to give away his emotional support fluffball?ā
Jason pointed at Bruce. āIt was his idea.ā
āCoward!ā Damian hissed.
āIām sorry,ā Tim whispered.
Dick held up his hands. āIn my defense, I just said āethically.ā I didnāt mean logistically.ā
You knelt beside Thomas, brushing back his curls, kissing his forehead. Cheesecake meowed softly and licked his chin.
āSheās not going anywhere, honey,ā you whispered. āCheesecake is yours. And she loves you.ā
Thomas sniffled. āPromise?ā
āPinky swear.ā You held out your pinky. He linked it solemnly.
Then you stood. Turned to the rest of the family.
āIf any of you suggest giving her away again, I will hit you with my wooden spoon.ā
āYou donāt even use it,ā Bruce muttered.
You smiled sweetly. āNot for cooking.ā
āø»
Later that night, Cheesecake slept curled up between Thomas and baby Martha. Her fluffy tail twitching contentedly.
Thomas had stopped crying hours ago.
But Bruce still flinched when he passed the wooden spoon on the counter.
Thomas Wayne was a benevolent ruler.
Kind to animals. Generous with snacks.
He shared his toys, his juice boxes, and even the good blanket.
But today?
Today⦠his kingdom had fallen into disgrace.
Because theyāhis traitor brothers and his big scary daddyāhad tried to banish his most loyal companion.
Cheesecake.
The fluffy, snooty Himalayan cat who only purred for him, baby Martha, and Mommy.
And now?
Now they would suffer.
āGood morning, buddy,ā Bruce greeted, crouching next to Thomasās booster seat.
Thomas turned his head dramatically away.
. . . Yeah Spike . . . Yeah . . .
Normalize leaving unhinged comments on ao3 fics you like. I'm tired of being the only one brave enough to write "I am chewing on this fic" in the comment section. Be weird. Authors will love you for it

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Shower thoughts include: riding injured and decrepit Spike crazy style until our legs break. No further comment.
"Peaky Blinders: The Immortal Man" cover story for Empire Magazine (2026)
they should all go to a rave they absolutely should not that place is getting demolished
+ was he blackmailed? is he into it? who knows

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3am dinner
[speedpaint]
she just sent me her location bruh wtf is this
Kitten Teeth
(Armand/Daniel Molloy)
'Armand and Daniel have a conversation about Armand's fangs, why they're the way they are, and how, by vampiric standards, they're a disability.'
Complete - Rated G - 2,641 words
[AO3 Link]
caring about things is cool being passionate is cool being earnest is cool being genuine is cool being compassionate is cool

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The Villa
Written for @vcmicroficmay
Prompt: Afterglow
Pairing: Devil's Minion
Words: 997
Rating: E
Armand presses him against a wall, burrowing his face in his neck and kissing his throat as Daniel glances around the place. Yes, heās been here before. āI designed it after theĀ Villa dei MisteriĀ in Pompeii, remember? Thatās where we first tasted each other, my love. Remember?ā Danielās eyes roll back as Armand grinds against him. Fuck. DanielĀ doesĀ remember.
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