Thoughts, Quotes and Stochasticity

Currently thinking about the twists and turns of life; ruminating (attempting to reclaim the connotation of the word to be positive or perhaps neutral) on the uncanny idea that something so seemingly insignificant could have such an effect on a life. We begin at a source of information, an event that is current, or recently occurred, and we trace our memory backward. The event is the acorn that…

Twenty-four (or “Twenty-three Revisited”)

Twenty-four.

Twenty-three. He’s the age of the pendulum. Adding slowly to the pile of years, he counts. Looking up from dusty cities with lamb-path streets, and following lonely roads to ice-coated highways and cities locked in pride of place. Twenty-three looks for the stupidity in his “wisdom,” he looks for the peace in his “rage,” he tries and tries and stops trying to find the middle path.…

Fucking just need to write,

and I wonder what those first five words will seem like when someone comes back to them in forty years and reads this.

Will they think I’m mad or happy or crazy or already lost it? I don’t know, can’t know, always I’m pretending to know.

And I want to catch the sounds that are flying around in my head, a butterfly or a flurry of butterflies, all of the thoughts that…

Humor I Guess…

it’s funny it’s some kind of joke, a sick, laughing matter-

when I think about my romantic hang-ups, I don’t think about the anger, the painted pain and numbing drugs;

I don’t think about the venom, the magical manipulations;

I don’t think about the pitfall, the sudden drop out of love;

I don’t think about the hook-ups, the rolling and pulling without thought;

I don’t think about her dress, the…

Grilled Cheese and Love

I used to think that love was a kind of layered, unfolding, blooming function of life, something that you would treat with care; like when you pull a freshly made grilled cheese apart, carefully but intensely; I thought, you could draw out the process as long as you were able; or rather, you would draw out the process as long as you were able, you would lift the two toasted, buttery triangles as…

Me, I will slowly pull myself apart: fingernails, heart, vocal folds, tendons; I will pour my liquids into a bucket: blood, water, stomach acid, urine; I will section and cube myself out, a series of Lego building blocks, multiplying to smaller bits as I focus; the energy in one pile the matter in another; the dreams in one pile the aspirations in another; the facts in one pile the opinions in…

A Scream Echoing from Sleep

When it all comes crashing down, really all comes crashing down, you won’t be here. Your son will be in his forties, something will spark and the killing will start, the open forests of our country will darken with blood, small fires will burst from spark, souls will flood abandoned homes they will find their refuge in unmade beds, deserted months past, they will hole up and wait for final…

Waiting for the Words (time slippage)

Time slips idly by me, as if it were some child shushing, hushing and tip-toeing to the balcony’s overlook into the living room, early on some Christmas morning the small toes forgetting the intention of the creep by the excitement of taught, reflective wrapping paper. And I sit, thinking simply about how to express my feelings through paper and ink and paper and ink and paper and ink and paper,…

The cup rests softly on the kneeAn image of quiet calmI can see the caffeinated steamrising up along the rimsome is not so brave, some loses itsfaith to flyit pulls itself cool and condensedback to the rimback to the beads that sit undisturbed,Slowly gaining weight,feeling gravity pull on themThe inevitablefallhow it cools the contents of the mainframeThe beads returning tothe place of…

I am sorryI know that I owe you an apologymy wine stained mind hasenough sense to say,That I know I owe you an apology at some point I started tofade slowly away from youlike I was Marty McFlytrying to save my own lifeAnd slowly but surely watching myexistence erase and snub out I owe more to you,I should have a deep respect for you,and possible that I lost thataround the same time I lostthat…

It will leave you too…you think it’s a permanent resident,The hole is all carved out,your chest, rare and bloodied,has become a tender testament tothe hollowness of the actions now taken;your heart you keep somewherein the back corner of the crisper,in the refrigerator with the carrotsand a half used, slightly molding, head of iceberg; But let me disclose something to you…once it leaves you begin…

Thinking Inkly: Hoping that the Assumptions Will Pass With the Dying of the Night

I’ve been trying to find a balance between it all. The work, the work, the play, the writing, the meditation, the feeling of necessity to read more, etc. I think you all know the feeling. The overwhelming weight that presses down on you even when you are doing something that should be shedding that weight. I’m not sure where the shadows come from. Lately, I’ve theorized that it’s all from…

Matt Silva: An Introdution

A man of shape and tone, muscle flowing soft as if muscle could; as only muscle could; Gentle eyes, holding back a deep seeded kindness, and an eternal question begging to be answered; He stands quiet, as if imitating a sculpture, then the smile, the glint behind the teeth of a secret only he could know. His mouth drips with witty colloquialisms, and sprays fire to burn away any sense of passed…

Mark Ræl: An Introduction

To follow in the footsteps of dozens of creative individuals; a stepping stool of wisdom, brought down slowly with words and time; To sweep the beams and buttresses of the overhead with thought; To see the world as spines as a series of circles and rhombi, broken down, layered, layered, layered; To know that reality is never truly real, that the truths we accept are only something that we feel…

I am wont To forget the pattern: That those residing in my fridge, Cooling and crisping as they do, Will only see the bright of life, As death comes closer.

i will i will write i will write i will right left right left right left right i will prick the pin against the skin and bring the ink to surface i will draw it long against the teeth and send a message type O positive something you will not forget the dirty little Richards of this world will find their subtle manipulation failing against the tin heart shaped hole in my chest i will write write…

Humans Anonymous: “I always have to be taking care of somebody”

Q: Ok so I just have two questions the first is, will you describe yourself for me? Whatever that means to you, in whatever capacity you need to. A: I am a Virgo (laughs) to a “T” I think that I am generally a good person with good intentions but I think that I tend to come off as a control freak and kind of… I don’t want to say the wrong word… overbearing. I have the personality of a mother, but…