worlds biggest fan of a decent sammich

“Hot and bothered” in the sense that it is 90 degrees out and I am extremely annoyed

people have got to learn the difference between I didnt like it and It was bad

it's crazy when gay men are misogynistic because at every high school debate there's a teenage girl fighting for gay rights like she's their personal lawyer

so fellow princesses. I'm getting the vibe that we're not doing so hot.

me burning the candle at both ends: oobh i got plany off wick

hey sorry i said those weird and pathetic things. do you still think i’m mysterious and alluring

mentally taking a drag of my mental cigarette because I don’t smoke but life has been very smokable lately

Didn't mean to use that picture

what's his #?

are you asking me for Jensen Ackles' number

Fuck. I can't do anything right. *pulls my shirt up slightly and you can see a little bit of my abs*

this loser has abs

And take that nasty cigarette with you

Just bought a live butterfly off alibaba and I made it fly back to wherever its green ass came from

What?

They should have an oarfish emoji that’s four times as long as any other emoji

im like if someone who had a fetish for being helpless was also a control freak