Your Local Killjoy™

i hate when apps know that i’m screenshotting something. when i screenshot something, that’s me acting outside your realm of understanding, app. i am beyond what you consider the observable universe. you’re not supposed to perceive me. we don’t know when god screenshots the earth. we don’t know when he’s like, “okay i’m just gonna take a pic in case i ever want to add dinosaurs back to something later and don’t remember how.” and if we did, we wouldn’t act all smug about it like, “hey, you wanna share that post? you could just click here to share it.” no, man. you didn’t catch me. i screenshotted this for my own reasons. what’s next? i can’t take a photo of my computer screen with my phone out of laziness without being shamed by the printer i don’t own?

doomscrolling thru the weather app

seeing trans women out in public is like warm sunlight washing over me it genuinely brightens my mood

Diversity hire bryson ur absolutely slaying

spin the wheel and assign an animal to prev

fuck I just got jumpscared by the fucking fridge

thats a dishwasher .

the doctor says i got an attention deficit so y'all gotta gimme more

recently saw ppl discuss whether they put their medicines in a kitchen cabinet or a bathroom cabinet and i was shocked by the fact that many ppl said kitchen cabinet. so now i need you to reblog this and say where you keep yours