exhausted

[imagine that this post is written in heiroglyphics] number fifteen, cum lettuce. The last thing you want in your lettuce is somebody's cum

We need an alternative to doesthedogdie cause they’ve started fucking paywalling warnings that include timestamps for triggering moments.

grab somebody nuanced tell em perhaps

vibrator store, you CANNOT send me an email that says "she deserves to feel good" with a discount code for mother's day, you CANNOT be doing that

cosmic horror (god loves you too much and keeps resurrecting you)

cosmic soap opera (god loves your boyfriend too much and everytime you die it basically breaks him so god has to resurrect you even though he's really annoyed about it)

now make "your best bro is a cumpire (umpire but for cum)(judging you)"