Simone

Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled

world heritage post

imagine dealing w an international crisis involving precious artifacts and someone is like ‘don’t worry I know a guy’ and it’s a dorky connecticut college professor named henry who slips into his slutsona and suddenly he’s capable of saving the world w the power of his whip & fedora

you don’t know where the guy is. you don’t know where the guy is going. but you do know he’s on the case w a 98% success rate and his tits are out

#this man gets uncomfortable and overwhelmed when 20 y/o college girls hit on him #but take off his glasses #put on his fedora #and this man is ready to find Atlantis in three to eight business days (via @sansakenobi​)

It’s impossible to argue with anything above.

previous tags are on point: #hat ON archeology APPLIED tits OUT

Honestly, a slutsona that you only slip on when you're not talking to students is a slutsona that's being appropriately applied.

having physical anxiety even when you're actually having a good mental health day is so fucking stupid. mentally i'm like "i'm so grateful for my life and the beauty of this incredible world." however i drank about .002 too many dropulets of coffee so my body is currently home to 23 species of ants as well as 56 different adverbs. like sure i'm out here doing my little gay nature walk and my journaling and my grounding techniques and yet the entire time my skin has been attempting to become a rocketship and it has decided it must do this via stomach-based forbidden torture techniques

This web site is a Collaborative effort fersure

turns out i am gay

holy shit how’d this alpaca learn how to type

Diversity win! The alpaca is gay!

he was a llama

a llama?! he’s supposed to be dead!

@hellsite-hall-of-fame i think this deserves to be here

im going to fix my entire life

When?

Like Um. later

just the two of us / we can make it if we try.

i hope this email never finds you. i hope you are with the oul

This is the COOLEST thing I’ve seen in AGES. You both completely made my entire week.