Sneezing four times in a row while on your period really will bring you to your knees.
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@adreamthatsworthkeeping
Sneezing four times in a row while on your period really will bring you to your knees.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Appin, your pies might be amazing but your custard tarts and sausage rolls are not.
Was trying to make a joke about TV writing to my friend the other day and had to pause and go "...does the phrase 'surf dracula' mean anything to you?"
One of the most important critical texts of this century imo
image description: tweet by @/topherflorence, reading: back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale /end description
not now mom I have to see what my mutuals with masters degrees are blogging about on tumblr
hi so yeah im trying to find the hotel california and i know i have to take the highway to hell but i accidentally turned left onto the boulevard of broken dreams. i took the first hard right onto the rocky road to dublin cuz i thought it would loop back around but it didnt lol and i know im waaaaaay off course bc i just drove by the house of the rising sun haha. so how many miles until i get to the hotel
500 MILES?!?!?!
You will also have to walk those, and 500 more after that.

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i think everyone would majorly benefit from swapping "im just a girl" with "im literally nice"
Maybe the most damming thing about Nolans odyssey is i haven’t seen a single gifset from it
as a former escape room host i highly recommend doing an escape room as a first date. its a great way to learn how ppl react under pressure and how well they collaborate with you right off the bat. also more than once ive seen people enter an escape room as a couple and exit broken up LOL its a fantastic litmus test
sorry to broadcast ur tags but this is also a valuable part of the litmus test! it seems like you learned a lot about how this person makes you feel in their social group. they didn't go out of their way to include you, and neither did their friends. therefore you can come to a pretty good conclusion about how you might feel being part of their life outside of an escape room; someone who doesnt include you or your feelings in a game is likely going to do the same in other situations
An experiment with a clear negative outcome is still a successful experiment.
thats science for ya
Hello, I work for a large moderately evil corporation and for at least five years now I have to sign a yearly thing to say I will never ever have one of these devices in the same room as me while I work.
My large moderately evil employer takes it for granted that these things are spying on me at all times, and you should too.

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so so disappointed petro lost, he’s been smashing it out of the park every week so so gutted he had to have a bad day on the day of the finale. for a moment in the second round i really thought he had it, but sadly 😢😢😢😢
It was that inescapable huge lead from round one he was never going to recover from. So gutted. I hope he still manages to go do great things. And it's not like Vinnie was bad, but he came up slowly and inconsistently while Petro was always bringing amazing stuff it feels unfair to lose.
Looking back on 2020, I think it's hilarious that Wellerman of all shanties is the one that blew up online. It's not a song about life on the high seas or adventuring
It's the "Where the fuck is my delivery" song
really i think the key difference between david tennant and peter capaldi as fans of the show they were in is that david tennant's childhood obsession shows through when he comes face to face with elisabeth sladen in school reunion with all the joy of someone who was in love with the show as a kid in the 70s. you know, like a normal person. (by doctor who standards.) whereas peter capaldi's childhood obsession shows through when he comes face to face with creepy mummy-like cybermen based off a partly-lost william hartnell serial which is deeply deeply disturbing on a psychological level with all the glee of someone who was disturbed on a psychological level by the show as a kid in the 60s
Why do kiwis have such massive fucking eggs “it’s because they are related to ostriches and-“ yeah ok but like why didn’t they evolve smaller eggs if I was in charge I would do that shit pronto. Thoughts?
their big eggs are actually that size for a similar reason to human babies having massive heads!! being bigger at birth can be important.
kiwi are trying SO HARD to become mammals. fur-like feathers, whisker-like feathers, little beady eyes, nocturnal, great sense of smell.... that's basically a mammal!! they're well suited for life on the forest floor.
their big eggs work alongside these adaptations to give them a leg up in the bird world. their young hatch already feathered! they're precocial, which means they're born with the ability to open their eyes and move around. like foals.
big egg = more powerful offspring from the get-go. babies don't need to spend precious time vulnerable while they develop on the ground when they've already done all that in the egg!
(unfortunately, with the introduction of mammals to aotearoa, these adaptations are a little less useful...)
Important addition: baby kiwi come out of the egg looking like they've come out of a shower with a hangover
They look like one of the downsides of emerging from an egg fully formed is how aware you are off just having come out on egg. First minute alive, already dealing with some fucking experience.
Twist on the guy who finds out he's a father by suddenly making a dad joke: a guy who sneezes at a regular volume until one day he makes a sound loud enough to deter predators.

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it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back
you'd think occasionally men would need to touch other men like this to manoeuvre them out of the way but it never happens
genuinely I'm so sick of people wanting all fiction to be ethical. can we all just get a little gross with it. the point of fiction is that it's not real. we can be unethical in fiction; same goes with being perverted with fiction, being unrealistic with fiction, and being grotesque with fiction. not all fiction has to be ethical, not every character has to be ethical, and that's okay. can we stop with the puritanism. be gross. be unrealistic. be whatever. if I don't like it it's not my business as long as we're all clear that its fictional.
via ered.bsky.social, the only kinds of unethical fiction:
people in the replies are going "what about books glorifying unethical things" and "what if it's propaganda" and you, my friends, are who this comic was made for