“we go to the same college” AUs
we go to the same college, and we live in the same building. if a fire alarm goes off, the whole building has to evacuate. we’ve had to evacuate at least once a week for the past five fucking months, and it’s ALWAYS in the middle of the night. after the nine hundredth time, a fireman let it slip that it’s been the same idiot burning their popcorn / doing science experiments / smoking / whatever every time… and through some detective work, i’ve figured out that YOU’RE the idiot in question.
we go to the same college… and we’ve both been sleeping with the same prof. who most definitely did not tell us about the other. but now we both know, so let’s go carrie underwood on this motherfucker.
we go to the same college and you got smashing drunk during the first week of classes, and couldn’t get your dorm room door opened, so you climbed in through the window, got stuck, and had to call the fire department. but here’s the thing… this isn’t your dorm, this is MY dorm, and if you think i am ever gonna let you live this down, you are so wrong.
we go to the same college and you used to date your roommate, but that ended, so now you’re curled up on the floor of the library and trying to sleep there, and for the love of god, this is pathetic, come back to my dorm, i have a single – yeah yeah i know we don’t really know each other, but you look like a moron so just say yes, ok?
we go to the same college and grew up in the same city. we don’t really know each other, but we’re both going home for thanksgiving and agreed to carpool to save gas. except you were only in your house for about twenty minutes before you suddenly ran back out, in tears, and screaming at your mom that you’re never coming back so i think i’m obligated to invite you over for thanksgiving now???? please stop crying this is really awkward????????
we go to the same college and we’re both top of the class and fiercely competitive and not to be dramatic or anything but i would literally murder you if you got valedictorian over me
we go to the same college and i want a single, but i can’t afford a single, so i, being a terrible person, decided to drive my roommate away. it worked – after three months of living with me, they transferred just to get away. except instead of letting me stay in the room alone, the college assigned me a new roommate: you, a new transfer student. i want to drive you away, but you won’t back down so easily. let the games begin, motherfucker.
we go to the same college… or, rather, we went to the same college. i’ve been dragged into the dean’s office facing expulsion, and i saw you out in the hall, having just dropped out. we’ve never really talked, but we’re both total wrecks – i’ve managed to ruin everything and get booted out of school, and you’re not sure if you did the right thing. neither of us are sure how to break this to our parents, so what if we become roommates and try and figure this out together?
reblogging cause a) helpful ideas and b) don't wanna lose it I'll never find it again and my 3 am ass is not about to remember any of this post later
