All you fools are gonna look super dumb when the Queen hobbles out on her walking stick in February, stops in a daze, topples forward and almost falls flat on her face, but at the last second does a forward somersault, jumps back up, and then cheerfully gives a bunch of children a tour of Buckingham Palace, during which she kills them off one by one, in order to choose which one will be the next queen.
This didn’t age well
All you fools are gonna look super dumb when the Queen bursts out of her tomb, hobbles out of the chapel groaning 'Brains! Braaains!', her eyes glazed over, her flesh discoloured and rotting off the bone, and hungrily devours Charles, and Camilla too for good measure, then sits on the throne for another couple of decades as HRH The Zombie Queen of England, until someone returns all of the crown jewels to their rightful owners, thus breaking the undead curse.
All you fools are gonna look super dumb when the King hobbles down the aisle at the coronation, stops in a daze, topples forward, falls flat on his face, and dies instantly.
All you fools are gonna look super dumb when the King emerges triumphantly from his enlarged prostate surgery with his prostate now reportedly ten times larger than before and the envy of the entire monarchy, putting to rest any rumours of his abdication over how big of an asshole he is.
All you fools are gonna look super dumb when the Princess of Wales drives up to the gates of Buckingham Palace, emerges exhausted from the car, drenched in someone else's blood, climbs up the steps, and faints dramatically in Prince William's arms in front of the press.
All you fools are gonna look super dumb when the youngest cardinal at the Papal conclave, Ukrainian-born, 45-year old bishop, Mykola Bychok from Melbourne, Australia, is elected as the new Pope, then immediately begins radically challenging the traditions of the Catholic church, becomes directly involved in the political affairs of the Vatican, assumes control of the Secretariat of State of the Holy See, befriends a giant kangaroo, and then collapses during his first public appearance and ends up in a coma.
All you fools are gonna look super dumb when the White House announces that Trump isn't dead/dying, he just has Graft-versus-host syndrome. His hair implants have started rejecting the rest of his body and will slowly suck the life out of him, until he reluctantly lets Melania cut it all off. Thus, having lost the source of his powers, Trump will then be captured and blinded by the Democrats, before finally being crushed along with Congress when the Capitol Building collapses on top of them.
All you fools are going to look super dumb when Mitch McConnell is seen alive and well, silently chilling in sunglasses at a weekend party in his luxurious beach house at The Hamptons, while being carefully propped up by two of his hapless staffers.
