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@luminouspica
Hey tumblr dad, got any good dad jokes?
my kid isn’t really into jokes yet she just likes to “play monster” where I have to chase her around the house until my old man lungs fail me also sorry this has been in my inbox for like six months
This is a blatant lie, you just send the dad jokes to ME AND MY MOM
This is a blatant
lie, you just send the dad jokes
to ME AND MY MOM
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
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I'm afraid the number of tumblr mutuals I've fucked belligerently refuses to decrease
Maybe you need to keep fucking more until it resets? You know, like a cars odometer circling around to 0 again?
simply fuck 2,147,483,648 mutuals and itll loop around to the negatives
Did someone say free pony rides!?
the human body is an engineering marvel. I sneeze in bright light. if I dont get enough sunlight on my skin I get tired and sad and have to drink a lot of milk to fix it. standing too much hurts, but sitting too much also hurts. if I get a virus, my body will increase its temperature in an attempt to cook it, which also cooks my brain cells. toenails exist. I have to turn the radio down to see better when I drive. there are 17 genes dictating what my hair texture is, but it completely changes when the air is too humid. yawning is contagious. there are more species of bacteria living in my body than there are species of birds in the entire world. every few months I grievously injure my neck by "sleeping on it weird." it took seven million years of human evolution to form me, and now I'm afraid of phone calls.
There’s been a rise in kids, even in upper elementary, bringing their stuffies to activities with them and this year my favorite is torn between preschool student who brings Shadow the Hedgehog everywhere and treats him like a baby, and 5th grader who carries around Tanjiro DemonSlayer and narrates him doing craft time and music time etc.
Every single person I know who did football in high school, without exception, has a chronic injury. Many regret what it's done to their knees and back, even major organs like the brain.
There is no serious legislative push to ban high school football.
Also, like, if you want to talk about social pressure on minors to undertake activities that will result in regrettable, irreversible damage to their bodies:
No one, *ever*, tried to persuade me to transition.
My gym teacher tried to persuade me to try out for the football team almost every single day that I was in junior high.
#i firmly believe that the reason why concussions and brain damage in general#are not taken nearly as seriously as they should be#is because of football#if we take concussions and brain trauma seriously then we have to acknowledge the risks that children are undertaking at even#high school level football#but we can't do that#because the kids need to play football in high school so they can play football in college so they can join the NFL#This time I'm really gonna queue it.
I recently watched this video by hydn called “The Great Concussion Denial” and holy fucking shit. Made me sick to my stomach. The tldr is that it’s all the NFL pushing football on kids but that’s really diluting the story
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And the millionaires aren't going anywhere, for the most part.
Excellent update on year 2 of this program:
Last May, we were very happy to report that the Millionaire Tax instituted in the state of Massachusetts was working out very well, not scaring off all of the rich people, and raising funds for necessary education and transportation initiatives. The state had raised $1.8 billion — $800 million more than they predicted — and none of the terrible things the naysayers had predicted happened at all. But how are things going a year later? Even better! The tax has now generated $3 billion more than expected, for a total of $5.7 billion that has been spent on projects that are positively benefiting Massachusetts residents and “being used to bridge repairs, bolster literacy programs and address the transportation system’s budget deficit.” In case you need a refresher, the tax is a 4 percent tax on anything people make over a million dollars.
Official Post of Massachusetts
This article has a great way of framing tax alarmists for the hypocrites they are. It’s woven neatly through the whole article, but this quote really sums it up:
Sure, people complain. Rich people are always going to complain about taxes. But they never flee the way they threaten to, largely because whether or not they like to admit it, they prefer to live in the kinds of areas where things are made nicer by the taxes they don’t want to pay.
Tax the rich. Most of them won’t notice and even more of them won’t care
Tumblr users will say "queer history" and mean "midcentury archival records from a specific US-American city that I have extrapolated into a universal mythos" and not even blink
"learn your queer history" I am from fucking INDIA
Maybe your queer elders fictional or otherwise were also influenced by the biases and contradictions of their own circumstances, time, and place and I am no more beholden to their ideas and ways of doing things than I am to any other form of tradition trying to constrain me.
Perhaps history is a conversation and not an edict.
I feel as though what drives most rude / inconsiderate behavior I experience IRL on a day to day basis comes from a place of having this unearned and unnecessary sense of urgency in situations that aren't actually urgent. I think if more people became aware of this completely unnecessary sense of urgency in situations that actually aren't urgent, it might make co-existing and sharing public spaces with other people a lot easier and more tolerable.
That text post that's been making the rounds that goes something like "Omg you made it to the same red light as everyone else but faster and more dangerously and recklessly, should we call nascar? Do you want a medal?" summarizes exactly what I'm trying to talk about.
It's like when I have to change buses at one of the bigger and busier bus stops, and the people who get off the same bus as me shove and elbow past me to get off before me, and then shove and elbow past anyone even slightly in their way on the way to the bus they're switching, only to end up on the same bus as all the people they shoved and elbowed with several minutes to spare before it leaves and plenty of open seats left.
I think this unnecessary urgency a lot of people feel in their day to day lives drives a lot of bad behavior. I'm not saying I'm innocent of this, I've felt it too in plenty of situations that didn't call for it, and regrettably was less kind than I should have been as a result. But I try to be aware of it, and always try to ask myself it it's really as urgent as my lizard brain is trying to tell me it is, and even if it was that urgent, does that still justify unkind behavior?
Is shoving or elbowing another person aside going to make the difference between whether or not you make it to the bus before it pulls away? (hint: at least where I live, most of the time that's a no because the drivers usually won't leave if they see people from another bus heading towards their bus). Is shoving and elbowing people aside in a crowded grocery store going to make any noticeable difference in how quickly you get your shopping done?
Does a few extra seconds of time actually justify cruel and unkind behavior towards people you perceive as slightly inconveniencing you?
I think it's also worth saying that even if you think you're immune to this, you're probably not.
Visas being denied to players and their families
Forbidding the iranian team coaches from entering the country and forcing them to direct the game from MEXICO through a tv
Players from non european countries being stopped and searched like criminals with dogs
Deporting african referees just because of their nationality
Forbidding interviews from being spoken i'm languages other than English and forbidding journalists and players from speaking their native languages
And all this just in the first week....
If I may, I want to add the issues MEXICO is having. At least some of them.
México City was "modernized" to be appealing to tourists, not functional to people living on it. We have a housing crisis, gentrification issues, several problems with public transportation, and the government has tiptoed around those to prioritize appearances.
Madres Buscadoras, groups of mothers that search for their missing family members, have been ignored and criminalized by the president, attacked by cops guarding the stadium, alongside other protesters like farmers, teachers and students. Students and reporters were arrested without explanation, threatened with violence (women with sexual violence) and then released.
Adding to this, the number of missing people in the country is 133,000. Twice the capacity of the Azteca Stadium. Families tried to raise awareness by pasting posters with the faces of their missing people around the stadium. The governor of Ciudad de México sent workers to take them down.
To avoid "showing a bad picture of the country" streets around the stadium are being closed, hours before the games, in order to deter protestors. People living in this area (like myself) are unable to move freely.
Our president, Claudia Sheimbaum, on one of the morning reports, said México is happiness, said we don't have issues, criminalized the protestors and said they want to show a bad picture of México. Avatar fans actually compared the report to this same scene, the "There's no war in Ba Sing Se" scene.
The World Cup, FIFA, and the government are trying to silence our struggles. Don't stop talking about the issues with the World Cup and the way the countries (at least USA and México) are dealing with it. Please.
Stripey girls
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Do other countries not tailgate? I mean I know pickup trucks aren't a thing everywhere, but they're not a necessity, even if you'd think you need a tailgate to actually tailgate. Ya don't. Just brews and brats and buds.
Off the back of a quick search: The Foxborough stadium there and the largest stadium in Scotland, Celtic Park, have about the same seating capacity, about 65,000.
The Foxborough stadium normally has 20,000 parking spaces.
Celtic Park has 800, with another 600 nearby.
You might not need tailgates, but you do need to be parking there.
I forgot, somehow, how much of America is paved (and mostly empty most of the time), especially near stadiums. Thanks for doing the research!
Given that a lot of folks in kink spaces are bent for the forbidden precisely because it is forbidden, I sometimes wonder how many people there are out there who unironically get horny for workplace and laboratory safety violations. Like, I know for a fact that number isn't zero, but how far above zero is it?
Show me the person who gets hard when they knowingly commit copyright infringement. Logically this person must exist. Let me see them.
today is a day i get to enjoy more because the only goal i have is "dont kill yourself". really takes the pressure off.
btw if im not allowed to kill myself none of you are either
This was on a post discussing shit parents doing a new satanic panic. Valid points all around but. But I’m crying. This is the funniest lie ever, no parody I could come up with this will be this funny. Nonbinary Julius Cesar
It's him, Julius xi/xir
When I tell you I wheezed
that is the most beautiful airfryer i have ever seen
found it! bruno smart air fryer in mint green BZK-KZ02TW-GR
Theirs a horse in the pingles
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what companies who sell you anti aging stuff don't want you to know is that if you're chill about aging, your perception of attractiveness changes as you get older. there is no "wall" where you suddenly become ugly and unfuckable because in my experience what actually happens is you get into your thirties and suddenly realize that people in their thirties are hot as fuck and the "flaws" that the beauty industry wants you to panic about are a feature not a bug, and based on the std statistics in nursing homes I don't really expect that trajectory to change.
Every time you go in a public place and something ISN’T disgusting it’s because somebody cleaned it. Every time you feel comfortable using a public bathroom or sitting at a restaurant table or setting something on a gas station counter or playing on a playground it’s because somebody cleaned it.
Thank you to everyone who cleans the world, especially those who are underpaid and under appreciated.
I worked in a supermarket for 7 years and I don't think I can understate just how much cleaning you had to do for it to look clean (it very often where not in the places you aren't supposed to see)
True for food service, retail establishments, gyms, outdoor areas, schools, religious buildings, office buildings, etc. People usually only notice when a space is NOT clean, meanwhile every time a space is clean it’s only because of the diligent work of janitors, maintenance staff, custodians, parks workers, or volunteers.
