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I managed to listen to exactly 3 seconds of this before I laughed so hard I couldnβt breathe.
π©΅ avery cochrane π©΅
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@shardagra
World Heritage Post
I managed to listen to exactly 3 seconds of this before I laughed so hard I couldnβt breathe.

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Allan O'Marra (Canadian b. 1947), The Bather (La Baigneuse), 2014,. Oil and Acrylic on canvas
imagine a goat with a hat
STOP-
what hat did you give the goat what is the instinctual hat you gave to this goat

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#goals. I too want to be strong like bitch who fights bears in the forest!
she has her priorities straight
Yesterday I almost cried because my baby cousin ran up to my grandmother and was like. βHa! Buhbuh ba ha.β And she said okay you want to show me something? And he led her over to the garden patch and crouched down and pointed at rocks and plants and was like. βAh. Habah ba ahβ as she listened attentively.
And I was like that happened 1,000 years ago. Probably 10,000 years ago. Maybe 100,000. The youngest human in a group went to the oldest one and said to the best of their ability βcome see.β And the adult went.
this is such a beautiful post it doesn't need my dumb addition, but i can't fit this in the tags. at the archaeological site Dolni Vestonice in the Czech Republic there are a bunch of really really fascinating finds and I'm only going to tell you about one tiny detail of one of the most interesting sites in the world.
at this settlement 20-30,000 years ago there lived a person who appears to have been a sort of sorcerer-grandmother-ceramics artist and her workshop was preserved very well in the sedimentary layers. her hut where she had her kilns was full of little sculptures of animals and people that seem to have been made to explode in the kiln on purpose, we're not sure why but nevermind. the relevant detail is that when you sculpt something with your hands and then fire it, your fingerprints can be preserved in the surface of the clay forever, so we have fingerprints of ancient ceramics artists that have survived for tens of thousands of years. and one of the major artifacts from Dolni Vestonice has a fingerprint on it that is so small it could only have belonged to a child
so this shaman-grandmother-sculptor, who was buried with her pet fox by the way, had children running through her workshop and touching everything she made while she was at her mysterious work of creating the world's oldest ceramics, none of which appear to be bowls, bottles, pots, or any "useful" items at all, but rather a collection of animal and human and sometimes anthropomorphic figures, some of which appear to be self portraits. exactly the same as sandersstudios' grandmother being led to the garden by an excited baby. we've all been the same for 30,000 years.
Fly, Mary
nasa trying to eat the moon
Operation Pac Man is a go
The way that most of Conan Doyleβs Sherlock Holmes storiesβ most horrible villains are rich dudes that are abusive to women, in a time such as the 1880βs, compels me.
Thereβs a whole subset of Sherlock Holmes stories that could be labeled Asshole Guys Try to Control Womenβs Money.
Yup, thereβs a huge number of times where Sherlock Holmes is the ONLY person to take a young womanβs complaint or worry seriously and finds out someone is up to some serious evil.Β Holmes also shows a lot of compassion and empathy with the victims over and over again.Β (This is why I find βSecretly a womanβ or βTransβ Holmes headcanons much more convincing than βsociopathβ Holmes.)
I am never going to shut up about how much I specifically love The Adventure of The Copper Beeches because it is literally Sherlock Holmes listening to a young lady he does not know except as a potential client, agreeing with her that a potential job she has interviewed for that she thinks is SUPER SKETCHY is, indeed, sketchy as fuck and when she says sheβs probably gonna take the job anyways because the money is good and she needs it going βOKAY I GUESS but for the love of god please write to us so we know youβre okay we will literally drop everything and jump on a train if you want us toβ.
The job turns out to indeed be sketchy as fuck, she writes to them, Holmes and Watson drop everything and jump on a train when she asks them to. I read this story for the first time when I was twelve and it made a HUGE impression.
This is also the basis for a lot of speculation about Holmesβ family life.Β The idea that he has been a victim of abuse, or his mother was abused (or even murdered by his father.)Β Thereβs definitely SOMETHING that makes him very aware of how dangerous isolated families can be, and the dark things that can happen behind closed doors.Β Plus, of course, the motivation to devote himself to stopping crime.Β And yes, so much of it is of the personal type.Β
dude see this is one aspect of the original books i NEVER understand why modern remakes (cough cough) donβt go all in on. Like, in the 21th c we HAVE all the dumb forensic shit that made Victorian Holmes stand out, but we STILL DONβT HAVE uhβ¦.you know, compassion for women and minorities, or the willingness to believe them, adequate community support for domestic violence or hate crimes, etc. etc. which youβd think is exactly where a renegade consulting detective would come in handy. A good modern day Sherlock Holmes remake, instead of trying to convince us that Holmes is some super genius for being better than fingerprint analysis or whatever, could have him just beβ¦a good person who helps out people the police canβt and wonβt help. There you go. Thatβs how to write a relevant modern Holmes.
One thing that annoys me is how much the BBC version of Sherlock (and the fandom around it) focus on police cases or cold cases.Β In the stories, Holmesβ bread and butter cases had fuck-all to do with the police and in a few stories, he actively works around/against them, or outright lies to them.Β Of the many, many things I wish that show had done differently, this is one is particularly obnoxious since itβs such a gimme.
There were very few actual murder cases in the Canon, and Holmes handled them either one of two ways:
Option one: The murder victim was innocent while the killer was an abusive bastard, see Speckled Band. Conclusion, arrest and have the killer charged (Or in the case of Speckled Band, indirectly murder him yourself then shrug and go home)
Option two: The victim was murdered to protect someone that the victim was abusing, or for vengeance, see Boscombe Valley, Devilβs Foot, Abbey Grange. Conclusion, Oops, I donβt know who the killer is, I am suddenly incompetent, oh look a pheasant.
#my favorite murder in holmes canon#is when they straight up witness a lady murder her blackmailer#do nothing except destroy his other blackmail material#and then straight up lie to lestrade about it#sherlock holmes#more of this in modern adaptations pls (via @cactusspatz )
Letβs not forget the time Holmes helps a young woman whoβs being catfished by her own stepfather to steal her inheritance, and when the villain sneers that the law canβt touch him, Holmes grabs a horsewhip out of sheerest chivalry.
So, the most canon-accurate iteration of Sherlock Holmes in the last few decades is actually Benoit Blancβ¦.
I think itβs also important to note, and complicates our ideas about what the highly patriarchal/misogynistic society of 19th century England looked like, that these stories SOLD
they were POPULAR
the Victorians LIKED reading about women who won out over shitty men in their lives, even when that plotline reaffirmed a womanβs power and agency or put an active sexist in his place (ie Irene Adler besting Holmes)
which is fascinating in light of. you know. [gestures broadly at all of Victorian gender dynamics, laws, etc.]
So yes, Benoit Blanc is the best modern Sherlock.

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i like when eridians describe grace in other-worldly, incorporeal, eldritch ways. that he's beautiful and terrifying at the same time. a horror you can't look away from because you don't want to miss a thing.
you can never get a clear listen to him. his primary sense node is covered in "hair" and the part that isn't is hidden by two crystals that refract sound waves in a pleasing but disorienting way. he covers his body in billowy cloth at all times. not snug and sensible and unobstructive like eridian coverings, but loose and layered, draped and flowing.
the most clear part of him are his internal organs. because yes, the alien's carapace isn't sound-proof. his single heart beats insistingly in his core, his lungs exchanging gas constantly, his long digestive tract always bubbling and contracting. his thorax is packed impossibly tight and it's all moving and singing.
and it shouldn't be possible, with how fragile he is, for that internal pressure to maintain. how does the thin membrane of his external organ (another horror that sends eridians reeling) keep it all contained? his "skin" is so easily pierced, cut, bruised, burnt, how does he not split open under his own mass?
when savior rocky first arrived home and described the environmental needs of his alien, the scientists thought he'd made a mistake in his frantic panic to get everything out. it isn't possible this being lives at such low atmospheric pressure, at half the gravity, and in a gas that's nearly double the weight of ammonia. in a gas so dangerous, so caustic. and if it does then how is it obligately terrestrial like rocky claims? shouldn't it fly or float instead? (and then to see it in the water, learning that it can float or sink at will.)
and this alien has come bearing gifts that will not only save your species but launch it into impossible heights of technological and intellectual advancement. he has discovered the solution to astrophage and bred it to thrive on threeworld and translated his instructions into eridian. he has given your people the complete sum of his people's knowledge, advanced in ways the eridians can't believe and behind in ways that seem ludicrous. and he has given his life for your people to have these things.
he knows how your solar system was formed. he knows how the universe started.
his name means beautiful and generous and relieving.
the eridians experiencing cosmic bliss.
be not afraid.
Isekai but the teenage boy wakes up to find himself sporadically occupying the body of a little old lady who appears to be the protagonist of a series of cozy murder mysteries where everyone in her quaint seaside town keeps getting violently and thematically killed.
Whilst wearing the guise of retired widow Mrs. Butterwell, Hideki must use all of his knowledge of genre and structure to try and prevent these murders before they can happen, because quite frankly that seems easier than actually solving the murders (he's not great at puzzles). He's been spending a lot of time talking to people around town to try and solve their various crises just to cover his bases too. It's really opened his eyes to the importance of community.
nuh uh @sunderwight this doesnβt get lost in the tags
Okay, so, have I been missing something incredibly obvious this whole time? In Guards, Guards!
Errol, who's the tiny dragon with way more fight in him than his size would suggest he's capable of, even if he was that belligerent.
Against The Dragon which is huge, majestic, in possession (at least in theory) of a mighty hoard of wealth, typically associated with the nobility, and finds herself rather taken by this small ball of Fight.
That's a metaphor for Sam and Sybil, isn't it?
It's only taken me 20-fucking-years.
Discworld Heritage Post
close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see
Sam trying to get Frodo to take one more step
Sam psychologically tormenting Gollum
This phrase has already entered my vocabulary re: media criticism where like. The viewer has a concrete view of what they expect a story to be based on the tropes and cliches they're used to seeing together, and when that doesn't happen, they judge it as a failed depiction of what they assumed it was going to be instead of judging it as what it actually is.
"This show is problematic because the hero didn't kill the villain at the end": When does he steal the bread?
"These two characters who were close friends throughout the series don't kiss at the end! What the fuck?": When does he steal the bread?
"This feels like it's missing a conclusion! Like, the protagonist does bad stuff and because of a critical decision he makes as a result of his major character flaws, meets tragedy in the end! Where's the part where he learns better and brings is love back from the dead and becomes a good guy and gets a happy ending?": When does he steal the fucking bread??
I heard this out as "When criticizing something, you must judge it for what it is, not what it isn't"
#this is why so many of us urge people to get a wider diet of stories

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Honorary eridian
i've always wondered what human speech would look like visually in the POV of eridians in the same way eridian speech is written as music notes in the book and my favorite version of it i've seen in fics is when words are written as phonetics in rocky's POV :-) oh and also that one post about rocky and grace figuring out random words they can say in the other's language