GreenTrickster's Den

So, every now and then, he takes a short trip into one of the more... unusual worlds. Ones where things are WILDLY different but also somehow more stable than the timelines more similar to his own, and don't tend to need outside interference to prevent another him from happening.

(They're the settings for the various LoL character skins and settings. For the sake of this post, picture timelines and alternate universes in this setting as a rope that’s been partially unraveled, and then each of the cords that form the rope are also unraveled. Each different setting/universe (ex: Arcane vs old LoL lore vs the High Noon skins setting) is one of the big cords of the rope. The unraveled fibers that create those cords/universes in the first place are that setting’s various timelines. Mage Viktor is working to save as many of the fibers in his own cord as possible, but he is aware of and able to travel to other the other cords/worlds that make up the rope, but he is not responsible for ensuring things don’t got tits-up in these worlds the way they do in his own. (And yes, every single LoL character is somewhere in every single setting, even if they didn’t get an official skin in that set. So there’s a High Noon Jayce, Deathsworn Ekko, Crystal Rose Viktor, and so on and so forth. Because, through fandom, all things are possible, so jot that down.))

It's nice for Mage Viktor to just... exist in these other worlds for a bit, generally speaking. Some of them are also terrible, yes (side-eyeing Battlecast Viktor so hard), but most of them are pretty decent overall. It's reassuring to see worlds that aren’t threatened by him and his Jayce's cycle, and interesting to see how varied they can be. It's interesting to see such overt variations of the people and places he knows so well, and it reminds him some of why he keeps going.

Anyway, lately he's been visiting the setting that contains the official main-setting LoL lore as it was prior to Arcane. The Machine Herald has caught his interest, not just because he actually figured out a way to save himself (and comes from a Zaun that's ALWAYS been an independent entity from Piltover), but because he made his own version of the hexcore. Only his isn't, you know.

A World-Ending Problem.

It... feels somewhat familiar to the senses Mage!Viktor has via the Arcane, but it's in the same way the Machine Herald's mask is familiar in comparison to Mage!Viktor's face as the Arcane Herald. Similar in base and concept, but you'd never mistake one for the other. Also, he can't be sure (which in itself is intriguing), but it feels a bit like the Machine Herald's hexcore might be... amused? By Mage!Viktor? He's not sure if it's actually aware (or sapient) in the way the hexcore of his setting is, but it's got a- a feel to it. Like it's amused by the mage. Fond of Machine Herald Viktor and the various tasks and tests he uses it for. Content to be what it is, even as it maintains a steady connection to the Arcane. An inherent reminder of mage Viktor’s own failings in his own universe.

And that’s what this setting really is, at least for Mage!Viktor: a double-edged blade of comfort and pain. Because, on the one hand, here's a world where ‘he's’ not only not at risk of, you know. Destroying everything. No, this Viktor's also still helping people. More slowly, on a much smaller scale, but he's still got humanity's best interests in that new heart he built for himself. And his version of the hexcore is a stable, useful tool that he wields comfortably. It's reassuring to see. A relief, even.

On the other hand, it's also extremely painful to watch this world, because it underscores how badly he himself messed up. Where Viktor has potentially huge number of people/a naturally-formed cult/religion (ie, the Church of the Gloriously Evolved) that considers him a prophet of their goddess, and he just… nopes out of that mess (in stark contrast to the Mage’s own commune, and how badly he failed them). And it's agonizing to watch the Machine Herald and Jayce Giopara locked in their ongoing conflict, even though the old mage can tell how much they miss each other. And, honestly?

All this Is actually one of the reasons he's been visiting it so often recently. This setting is reassuring, but not too comfortable to be in (because, let's be real, it’s amazing this man hasn’t been crushed to a fine paste yet with the amount of guilt he’s carrying, no way he believes that he's allowed to be truly happy until he's done absolutely EVERYTHING he can to help, and such a time (if one ever comes) where his constant oversight and intervention are no longer necessary to prevent another timeline like his own)).

Only problem is, while the Machine Herald isn't anywhere NEAR as powerful as mage Viktor, he's still a VIKTOR.

Ie, an unconventional super-genius.

Not only that, but this is a Viktor who grew up with hextech, and who potentially helped his own Jayce develop synthetic hextech, since the original hexgems were discovered six hundred years ago by Clan Ferros (using new hexgem lore for this, just because I don’t want to deal with All That in regards to the Brackern, they’re morally dubious enough (what with worsening the Zaun Grey, how they are produced in Zaun but only available for sale in Piltover, and Clan Ferros’s monopoly and Clan Ferros-ness about everything regarding them) without them being the condensed souls of sapient stone scorpions. Crystals are generally and historically a been naturally-limited resource anyway, since they were hard to get and in limited supply, so that’s what’s going on here, too). Meaning that this Viktor's been around magic and hextech his whole life. Meaning he can tell the signs of it having been used in an area in ways that versions of him more similar to mage Viktor can't, and that more divergent versions of Viktor in general haven't had a real chance to learn, since they have their own variations on hexgems and their use and history (not to mention that the mage hasn't visited their dimensions as often). And, being the vaguely (but also reasonably) paranoid bastard he is, the Machine Herald sets up some traps for his mysterious mystical intruder.

It should be noted, Machine Herald Viktor in no way has the power to actually hold mage Viktor here. I love the Machine Herald best of all the Viktors, but I’m under no delusions about where they both land on the power scale of all the iterations of all the different LoL characters. (Though the Machine Herald himself doesn’t know what he's actually up against, naturally.) So his trap acts less as the impassible barrier it was intended to be, and acts more similarly to closing a sliding glass door that someone's about to walk through while they aren't looking, but not locking it. So mage Viktor basically walks face-first into the Machine Herald’s trap, bumps his nose, and is so surprised that he drops onto the visible, material plane long enough for the Machine Herald to show up and start asking questions. (And, to be fair to mage Viktor, part of this is because no one's actively surprised him in an unspeakably long time; he'd half thought it couldn't happen anymore.)

Anyway, not quite sure exactly what happens next (as of this moment), but the two end up talking. They’re Viktors, after all, and everyone knows that Viktors are inherently curious creatures that are drawn to potential intellectual stimulation.

One thing I know for sure is that the Machine Herald judges Mage Viktor very hard, because why would you rely almost fully on magic when augmentation is an option????

It's easier.

More reliable.

Less likely to end the world.

This is rather annoying for mage Viktor because, 1) that's true, and 2) he can't even bring up the Machine Herald and Jayce Giopara’s relationship issues as a counterargument to Machine Herald Viktor having his own mistakes, because mage Viktor managed to ensure his potential relationship with his own Jayce is never going to happen.

It's extremely aggravating.

In any case, seeing as he has no reason to reveal his full power in the LoL Path of Champions setting, he doesn't. 'Smaller' magics, yes, but none of the big stuff.

It should be noted that, after everything he's been through, mage Viktor's power scaling is a bit off, but he does a good enough job to convince Machine Herald Viktor that he's just a very powerful magic user, as opposed to, you know. A pseudo-god at the very least. And Viktor's probably met magic users before, he's familiar with the concept, and he's confident in his own skills, ingenuity, and inventions. So, for at least the first stretch of knowing him, he treats this alternate version of himself as an equal, if an extremely misguided one (since he focused more on magic than on technology and techmaturgy).

I do think, once the initial period of feeling each other out passes, they'd enjoy talking to each other (and are also both lonely enough to give it a go, even if neither of them would admit it). MH!Viktor may disapprove of old man Viktor being a mage, but I'm sure he'd be keen to hear about how he and Jayce created hextech in their universe, and the mage!Viktor's work on his own version of the hexcore. (Something mage!Viktor is VERY hesitant to share with him until he emphasizes that he wants to use it to avoid potential pitfalls with his own version of it.) And, while he might be a mage now, I'm sure Viktor's still a scientist at heart, and he'd love learning about MH!Viktor's inventions, and what it was like to grow up in an independent Zaun.

Only then eventually mage!Viktor does Something that finally clues MH!Viktor on to what kind of power he has access to, and MH!Viktor gets to have an, "Oh. I could have died. I could have died so many times, I have been actively baiting and belittling this man, I could have died" moment a short while after it's done and he's properly processed what happened.

Also, he either knows the correct rune to use now, or that time lapse of him giving different baby Jayces different runes was meant to indicate that the rune itself wasn't actually important, it was who the rune was being given to that mattered (with the assumption being that Arcane!Jayce's rune looked different than the others as a means to make it extra clear to the audience that this was Arcane!Jayce's rune, and also that he tried giving runes to different people before he figured out that Jayce was the deciding factor in the equation (hence the emphasis that it was only Jayce who could stop Viktor)). Either way, he's got the equation down now, so that presumably speeds up the process.

Though that hasn't matter much until pretty recently, because, while he has been taking regular mental health breaks to other universes, this is the first time he's been drawn to return to the exact same timeline in the exact same universe multiple times. Never mind that it's the first time he's formally interacted with anyone in one, and absolutely forget that that someone actually managed to spot his presence there. Only no, don't forget, ignore, or never mind any of it, because it's all true, and it's important. It all means that he actually has somewhere to potentially go, someone to potentially return to once he's finished his self-assigned task. (And I'm going to assume it's not an eternal task because that's sad and I don't wanna.) For the first time since he began it, he has something potentially waiting for him at the end of his atonement other than winking out of existence like the final flicker of a dying star. And he's not going to stop his work or let it make him sloppy or anything, of course not, but it's... nice.

To hold a stick of chalk between his fingers.

To have a proper discussion about science with an intellectual equal.

To share a glass of sweet milk.

(He started crying after he'd had his first sip, the first time MH!Viktor offered him a cup. He hadn't eaten anything since before he became the Arcane Herald; he doesn't need to and didn't really feel like he should be allowed that pleasure, after everything he's done. Only then MH!Viktor made enough for both of them without being asked or telling him, and it would have been rude to say no, and then the taste unlocked a fuckton of sensory memories of his own world before he destroyed it, and they hit him upside the head like the Mercury Hammer.)

(MH!Viktor did not know what to do, he's so out of practice with this sort of thing, Naph doesn't come to him for this kind of support, someone save him, Janna take the wheel. So he just sat down next to mage!Viktor, put a hand on his shoulder, and awkwardly 'There there, it's okay'-ed him through it. It was awkward and horrible and insufficient and MH!Viktor hated it, this is why Emotions Are Bad And Should Be Avoided At All Costs.)

(It was the first time someone had been there to comfort mage!Viktor when he cried since before he became the Arcane Herald. It was more support and empathy than mage!Viktor had experienced since then, too. Looking back, later, he's not sure he could have withstood any greater attempts or offerings without cracking in half.)

(They didn't talk about it after; it's not in their nature. But they were both aware that something had shifted between them as a result. Neither of them was surely what had shifted, exactly, beyond that it was significant. But they no longer hesitate or ask to touch each other after this, in regards to casual, friendly interpersonal contact.)

Mage!Viktor has been simply... existing for so long, he hadn't even realized that he'd half-forgotten how to live. (Hadn't thought he'd deserved to.) Just as well, then, that the fellow Viktor he ended up latching onto is one who is so deeply invested in the survival and well-being of other people as the Machine Herald.

You acknowledged my writing in a positive manner, I know your scent (and also I'm really happy you're enjoying this and no one else is particularly paying attention to it, so why not? ;3 ).

And it just occurred to me that, while on good terms after they get used to each other, Viktor and Viktor have very different perspectives on what their relationship is.

For mage Viktor, he's trying to help the Machine Herald potentially avoid his own mistakes and gently coax him into giving things another try with Giopara. Because he's watched Gio as well as MH, has watched the Viktors and Jayces of many, many dimensions, and he knows that the two of them always care about each other at some point.

And also he's been spying on Gio as well as MH, because he actually reminds him of his own Jayce. (The mage's Jayce was similar in looks to Talis, but a bit grumpier and more egotistical. There was no mage to save him and Ximena from the snow storm, after all, and this hardened him at the age where most subsequent Jayces were filled with the wonder of magic. He did still pursue magic and hextech, but out of overconfidence and ego as much as a desire to help others.) The mage's Jayce was still sweeter in temperament than Giopara overall, but compared to other Talises he was downright prickly. And, as with Giopara, Viktor was the first person he saw as an equal and let in to his inner world. Seeing Giopara and how abrasive he can be, but also how much he openly misses Viktor in private, doing a bit of covert time travel and seeing what happened between Vikjayce, and how they both are these days, spotting the MH's picture of himself and Gio with their diving suit, still displayed in a place of prominence in his workshop...

They still both care about each other, so much. They both want the other back in their lives, but they aren't sure how to do with, what with the betrayals and years of hurt and fights between them. The difference between being stuck in a cycle and viewing the same cycle from the outside (while also having a deep, intimate understanding of the personalities stuck in the cycle). And the mage doesn't want them to lose their chance or never find at happiness with each other, the way he and his Jayce did.

So he's been... nudging the MH, ever since it became permissible to do so. Not manipulating or forcing him (because b'golly has mage Viktor ever learned the importance and sanctity of free will and consent), but gently pressing his case and encouraging that MH Viktor try reaching out, just once more, when the timing's good. Reassuring him that Jayce not only misses his Viktor, but actively wants to trust him and work together again. That, at the very least, if the mage is wrong, MH Viktor will not be alone when everything goes wrong and MH Viktor gets hurt again. Because mage Viktor will be there, and he swears he won't abandon him in this.

It's a task that mage Viktor has set himself in equal parts out of genuinely wanting to help the two of them, and as another minor form of atonement for his own sins; ensuring they receive what he himself ensured he would never have.

(Seriously, it's so good that this guy's been taking mental health breaks, and has now finally started interacting with people other than Jayce Talises he needs to prepare and sometimes hurt to prevent more Arcane Heralds, because, while he's learned to carry it, to keep it from letting it show when he finally speaks with each new Jayce who requires it, the shame and guilt are still eating this man alive.)

It is a bittersweet undertaking, the sole luxury he has allowed himself since his task began. Grand and poignant.

In contrast, the Machine Herald is trying to redomesticate this scrawny twink of an old man who can bend the raw power of the Arcane to his whim, but cries over drinking sweet milk or being sat next to the heater because it's cold (because, while never quite this slender (MH Viktor didn't lose his parents until he was in the Academy, had access to much better food, shelter, and resources as a result, and, while still looking like he was made mostly of sticks, ended up taller and with a wider overall bone structure than the mage or any version of Arcane Viktor did), he remembers back before he was physically capable of putting on healthy muscle and fat layers, and how easy it was to get cold, and acts like he doesn't remember what basic human kindness is (joke's on both of them, he kinda doesn't).

It's not even that the Machine Herald really likes the mage; not at first. He's an interesting phenomenon, yes (not every day you get solid proof that multiverse theory and the concept of multiple timelines are both true at the same time, especially in the form of one of your own counterparts), so it's natural that Viktor would give him attention. He's a man of science and techmaturgy, after all, and this is an encounter that might as well be catnip for people like him, with all the possibilities and questions it opens up. He is genuinely coming at this from a purely scientific and academic interest at first.

This was followed by growing to genuinely enjoy the mage's company, as the two of them are similar enough to get along well, but different enough to provide high mental stimulation for each other without constantly stepping on one another's toes ore bumping heads. And it's... nice... to have someone to talk to and work with again (for the first time since he lost his Jayce).

Also, the mage is fun to bully about magic, in a school ground teasing kind of way.

Which, in turn, led to the realization that mage!Viktor has just... forgotten how to people. He's forgotten how to people and, sure as grey meets day, Viktor's gotten attached to him and feels the need to do something about it. (Seriously, feelings are so terrible, why does Janna give her most brilliant scientists her most difficult equations...?)

Given that, while a genius in his chosen fields and in regards to augmentation and surgery as well, Viktor has the natural nurturing instincts of a pigeon building a nest (ie: the spirit is willing but the instincts are mostly non-existent), this mostly involves making sure the mage eats whenever he shows up and humouring him about his little 'You should try talking to the Big Stupid Treacherous Piltie again' crusade.

Which, in turn, eventually leads to MH Viktor approaching Heimerdinger with some new capacitors, an unexpected collaberation, a highly successful demonstration during Progress Day in front of all of Piltover, and a quiet talk in the Forge of Tomorrow come evening.

Heeheehee... thanks! <3 I like playing with that sort of thing, it's fun to figure out what would change and what would stay the same.

Anyway, after all that MH!Viktor and Jayce are going to start seeing each other again, begin to slowly patch things up between them as they begin to interact (without trying to beat the crap out of each other (most of the time)) more often, and just... heal. From everything they've done to each other, and everything they've been through as a result.

Which mage Viktor is more than happy to see. He wanted them to succeed. It's always bittersweet to see a Viktor and a Jayce succeed in finding each other when he and his Jayce failed (when he failed), but he's learned to focus more on the sweet than the bitter. On letting that be enough. The Machine Herald is still interested in spending time with mage Viktor, which is so much more than he's had in so long, and he's genuinely grateful for having even this much, after everything he's done.

Only MH!Viktor didn't get the memo that that's what's going on, and insists on introducing him to Giopara. Because he's not restarting this relationship keeping a secret as big as 'dimension-hopping, somewhat all-powerful version of myself whom I've been hanging out with for ages now' from him. Clear communication and all that jazz.

It's the first time mage Viktor has interacted with a Jayce he hasn't had to put through some wringer or another in longer than he can remember.

Transgender lesbian woman tears gender stereotypes apart in viral video

You have probably heard it before: “Wearing a dress does not make you a woman!”

Over at twitter, Eva, a lesbian transgender woman, published this amazing video in response, showing the world what kind of stupid stereotype this is (embedded above).

Eva writes:

Jokes aside, early on in transition I would worry so much about if I wasn’t trans enough because I genuinely enjoyed some of the ways I was masculine before I came out.

Re-contextualizing that through the frame of lesbian masculinity has made me feel so much more at ease, and it’s made me so much more comfortable with those parts of myself than as I ever did trying to express them as a man.

I love my shoulders. I love my arms, my muscles. I love wearing suits. I love being tall. I love having a deeper voice. I love having a strong jawline. I also love having long hair, gentle curves, and painting inch long wings over my eyes. I love being trans 

My spoiler-free reaction:

I di'n' like it.

For extremely English-major reasons.

>:(

Still all the flowers to Gooseworks for all their achievements and success, they wrote and created the story they wanted, and good for them! But also,

(through gritted teeth) PACING and NARRATIVE STRUCTURE.

Also, angy bunny to show my rage while also letting the viewer know not to take this too seriously.

Are my grievances valid? I believe so, yes.

Do I think other people should have an issue with the movie because I do? No.

Because I understand, on a profound level, that the way to handle this is to go find like-minded individuals on AO3 and read the fics they angy-bunnied out after they left the theater. Let everyone who genuinely enjoyed have their fun, I know where to get my fix. ;)

...

...oh wait, you're wondering if the angy bnuy has deeper meaning because Jax.

No, it doesn't, the little fluffer just matched my mood perfectly. Here is an alternative meme I considered, but didn't originally use because sqvirrl wasn't angy enough.

Me, as trailer continues: Why… why does Sora have normally proportioned feet? And why is this so jarring to me, a person who has never played a single Kingdom Hearts game in her entire life?

they are showing them as people

She's confused every time.

There's no proper way to explain to her that, if the series was released today in the exact format it's in, people would say it had been designed in a lab specifically for tumblr.

Not without exposing her to tumblr unfiltered for an extended period of time.

And I can't do that to her.

She's confused every time.

There's no proper way to explain to her that, if the series was released today in the exact format it's in, people would say it had been designed in a lab specifically for tumblr.

Not without exposing her to tumblr unfiltered for an extended period of time.

And I can't do that to her.

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Books are precious, but not to the point you can't deface them or reuse them in ways that you want/need, especially not a dime a dozen copy of a popular series.

I've destroyed books. Dozens of books. Harry Potter and Percy Jackson and The Hobbit and Dog Man and Avatar: the Last Airbender and and and...

They're not precious irreplaceable artifacts, a lot of them are printed on shit paper bound with shit glue and they fall apart after enough readings. I used them for art projects and library decor and cut them into bookmarks. We bought more copies.

Outdated medical and child-care books.