Do you enjoy reading about mildy oblivious elves in love? Have you ever wondered if the Fall of Gondolin could work like good classical tragedy, with slowly crreping, inevitable Doom upon them? Would you like to see Gondolin and it's lords from a slightly different perspective, with more Sindar amongst them? Do you need a fic that will provide fluffy, funny, sad and tragic moments?
Fret not, for here comes my newest fic, "Until we meet again, dearest friend", that will be revealed on the 6th of September with the rest of the TRSB collabs.
Glorfindel/Ecthelion, rated M for violence and (mostly) to veer on the side of caution, with over 52k words spanning 400 years from the arrival of the Noldor to Vinyamar all the way to the Fall of Gondolin.
Starring: Half-Vanya Impostor Syndrome Incarnated Glorfindel of the Golden Flower, Sinda Aroace Ecthelion of the Fountain, Hyperactive Duilin of the Swallow, Tsundere Egalmoth of the Heavenly Arch, Gossip-girl Idril Celebrindal, Crying Wet Cat Maeglin LĂłmion, Slowly deteriorating Turgon of Gondolin, and some very needed Competent SeneshalsTM.
So ready your fanfiction Tropes Bingo, grab some tissues (trust me, you will need them), buckle in, and let the adventure begin!
This is a fanfiction written for TRSB 2024 for the wonderful art piece which sneak peak can you see above, which was painted by @dreamsofgold. The full piece is published on her blog, go give it some love!
More info about this event can be found either on their Tumbrl blog @tolkienrsb or their webpage.
The whole saga (100k of delicious hurt/comfort with a guaranteed happy ending)
Comprised of two main parts:
-> Part I - "Until we meet again, dearest friend." 53k words about their first life and fall (in love, and into death), or the work that sparkled it all, illustrated by the wonderful @dreamsofgold.
-> Part II - "How long still, dearest friend?" 41,5k words about what came After, about their yearning and duty, and their reunion.
And additional material in chronological order:
Color-coded by narrator. Orange - Glorfindel. Blue- Ecthelion. Green - Supporting cast/Ominescent.
-> "Volunteer" How Glorfindel met his seneshal, 641 words. [Helcaraxe]
-> "Meddlers" Penlod of Gondolin has some money invested into those bets. 425 words. [During the training scene of Chapter 1 of Part I]
-> "The Assault on the White City." Glorfindel and Ecthelion train their troops...well, at least in theory. Christmas gift for Loredana [Allythirstle]. 400 words. [Somewhere during Part I]
-> "Worship the ashes" Glorfindel argues with Turgon [Set during Chapter 11 of Part I]
-> "Something just like this" Glorfindel's sheneshal deals with the Fall. 1149 words. [Between Part I and Part II]
-> "We were young (too young)" Earendil and Elwing talk about marriage and children. 857 words. [Between Part I and Part II]
-> "Come back to me" Glorfindel's seneshal rides off to fight in the War of Wrath. 443 words. [Between Part I and Part II]
-> "Wreath of Golden Laurels" House Golden Flower grieves deeply for their Lord. 371 words. [Before and during Part II]
-> "Come back soon, dearest friend" Ecthelion writes a letter he knows he has no way of sending. 1219 words. [Tail end of Part II]
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Today we were talking about how words can mean different things to different communities, and that people outside the community wouldn't understand. Like how a non-poker player wouldn't understand poker jargon the way other poker players would. Anyway, then my professor said he was gonna show us his "favourite example" and wrote a single word on the board that gave me instant psychic damage: beta.
Apparently sport climbers use this word with a meaning of "technique, method." But for a horrifying, horrifying second there was the possibility in my mind that we were gonna talk about ABO in my fucking linguistics class
Professor Betas Georg, who writes 50k omegaverse fics during office hours, boldy wrote "beta" on the board while observing which of his students went dead. still.
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#everybody else uses sonar or long whiskers and that thing with the sensing electrical impulses#meanwhile: humans can âseeâ which is a thing which is like and yet unlike ordinary perception#it would also only ever come into play in the same frivolous âVULCAN STRENGTHâ sort of way as Spockâs extra attributes#for maximum effect vision would be faithfully written as 100% an asspull in the best way
what the fuck dude this is awesome i want this too now
Okay, but what about those deep sea fish that produce light at a wavelength that *only they can see.* Predators that can somehow sense you in a completely undectable and unfathomable manner to you; they might as well be psychic.
YES, EXACTLYâvision is SUCH an asspull?? Sometimes itâs â"darkââ and we canât see anything. And also weâre impaired for plot reasons! Sometimes ALIEN WEAPONRY or otherwise-innocuous ship components are ââtoo brightââ and we yell and try to hide, subject to some sort of obscure, tortuous imperative. The rest of the time we can UNERRINGLY tell when anyone is trying to play pranks on us, the names and emotional/physical status of EVERY SINGLE BEING IN THE ROOM (or, when outside civilized warrens, ââline of sightââ)âand yes, of course, canât forget about our nigh-mythical fighting arts revolving around insane dodging skills.
And SNIPING. And also, god, fuckâdonât forget about completely arbitrary ââââatmospheric disturbancesâââ (fog, smokeâthe new âionic interferenceâ) ALSO plottasatically rendering our abilities moot.
Plus, some people have more powerful Vision than others, but some people have a very short effective range of Vision. However, humans have come up with devices that âchange the angles of refractionâ of the âlightâ so that the naturally impaired have their skills enhancedâbut they can always be knocked off their faces or be broken.
Also some people are terrible at normal Vision work, but have excellent night vision and are skilled at working under adverse conditions.
Oooh, and human art is almost entirely Vision based. Think about non-seeing aliens trying to access the majority of human art!
IM!!! SCREAMING!!! GLASSES. Glasses are SUCH another great Weird Alien Gimmick. Godâyou get all used to your Human friend and their bizarre abilities, you just start to really trust in and rely on them in tight places and problem-solving a little bit, then you get fucken marooned on a fucken planetoid somewhere and they just in this very small little voice, after you have pulled them from the wreckage and sat down to go over your options, inform you that theyâve lost their glasses.
Oh my god and an episode where weâre up against Evil Humans and our heros turn to their humans like âyou can see them, right, you can tell when theyâre near? you can counter them?â and our hero is genuinely shaken and worriedâ theyâve got high-tech military mechanical enhancers, the devices strapped to their heads let them see anywhere, they can operate in near-absolute âdarknessâ, they can operate in near-lethal âbrightnessâ, they can see through wallsâ not doors, not glass, but walls.Â
Then we have a heroic scene where the crewâs human is the scrappy, desperate underdog for once instead of the cool and collected superbeing. It is super cool. The human and the captain probably mack wildly on one another in medbay after this. Roll credits.Â
Mysterious, somewhat exasperated Human: the âlightâ enters the sensitive paired apertures in our faces, passing through biological lenses and chambers to stimulate specific nerves we call ârodsâ and âconesâ. one set of nerves tells us the volume of light weâre perceiving, while the other estimates the wavelength frequency. the total input creates in our mind a continuous sonarscape of immense complexity, where we can perceive âtexturesâ that are impossible to understand with mere sound or touch. this is why my peopleâs communication devices are small, flat, silent boards: we âreadâ the patterns of light they emit as language and âwatchâ the patterns of light they emit as sonarscapes.
And they just keep on making up new bullshit rules for how light works, like
Navigator: Warp drive engaged. Â We are approaching 90% of the Lorentz limit.
Human: Â What now?
Navigator: Â Oh, uh, itâs really complex, but lemme try. Â So, matter can only move so fast through space, right? Â Like absolutely, nothing can ever ever possibly go faster than like about 3 hundred million meters per secondâ
Human: Remember how light is a wave and a particle?
Captain: Yes, we mention this every episode.Â
Human: Yeah, lightâs frozen along with everything else. I canât see shit.Â
Captain: My god! Our sonar doesnât work either! The soundwavesâ they canât propagate through this frozen air! Weâll have to use just our whiskers!
Elrond and his boys; Elladan, Elrohir and little 10 year old Estel (and Bilbos here too for scale)
So like...I kinda went rouge and did my own thing for this family because I wanted them to be compatible with the Elwing and EĂ€rendil designs I made back in February.
Also for our purposes this is what Elladan and elrohir wear when they are visiting Rivendell and lounging around, not what they wear to hunt orcs lol
the town routinely sends a messenger up the mountain to beg the mighty dragoness not to eat them all and raze their town, and ask her what she wants for this monthâs holy sacrifice in exchange for her allowing them to live in her territory. they have done this for centuries
the mighty dragoness did pass away recently. she was very old even for a dragon, so it was bound to happen. her niece inherited the cave, and she seems very sweet but she doesnât really understand the traditional point of the sacrifices and has no interest in accruing further wealth so she just sort of asks for anything on her mind at the moment
a basket of onion rings is definitely not an ordinary sacrifice. but if the dragon wants onion rings, onion rings the dragon will get
the townspeople are banging ritual drums and singing the dragon's praises and a priest is delivering the standard litany to the dragon asking for her protection and her forgiveness that they should dare to build their settlement in her territory
a nervous girl wearing a flowy robe walks slowly along the aisle the service has made for her, a basket of golden brown beer-battered onion rings and a cup of honey dijon mustard in her outstretched arms. she sets them on the sacrificial altar and steps back as the dragon emerges from her cave and bends her nose down to sniff at them
everyone watches with bated breath as she gently picks one up and eats it. as she roars her approval, the mountain ledge explodes into cheering and applause
as everyone is leaving, she holds up a claw, and everyone falls silent again. she says it might be silly but she was going to watch a movie and if anyone wanted to come they're welcome to watch the movie and maybe play some board games with her? about half the congregation volunteers immediately
it's definitely an unorthodox request but the dragon gets what the dragon wants
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EĂ€rendil discovers, across even more years of orbiting his son, that parental intimacy has a half-life. In the early years, the child and the parent are truly adjacent if not outright conjoined: your daily rhythms intersect, your concerns overlap enough that a teat to the mouth requires no preamble. But children grow so fast. They move at a pace that creates distance even without separation. Elrond at two had been the back of his hand. Elrond at twenty five might be somewhat comprehensible. Elrond at five thousand will be utterly disorienting.
Like trying to know a city through its maps. The maps are accurate, often exhaustively so, but walking the streets reveals they had never contained what truly mattered about the place.
technically this bit of art was meant to accompany my necklace of albatrosses, the above quoted fic about EĂ€rendil sitting on Vingilot watching his sons grow up that I posted yesterday, but sadly it fought me for a very long time. i was trying to mess around with thinner linework and complex costuming in my illustration style, but it was truly a battle.
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. đ.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac
tags by @gallusrostromegalus
I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious
A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)
Yes, he is more than twice her size.
Yes, he is five times her age.
Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.
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Hey, weâre in line for some absurd temperatures here in the southwest this week. This is very important to know and keep in mind. Be safe, stay hydrated, stay out of the sun as much as you can.
Additional you can also put them on your palms, also, make sure to always use a light towel or kitchen paper and donât put the ice bags directly onto your skin!
The Sun and The Clear Pebbles of the Rain: Abridged
Looking to catch up on The Sun and the Clear Pebbles of the Rain before the final chapter drops tomorrow? Need a refresher before the ending? Curious about what the heck @whenstarsignite and I have been talking about for the last six months but you don't have time to read 130k words?
Never fear! Silly chapter summaries are here! Special thanks to @a-tehta who inspired them and also helped edit them.
Spoilers beneath the cut!
Chapter 1:
Glorfindel: [Tranquil music, âMorning Moodâ from the Peer Gynt suite playing] Ah, another melancholy day in these melancholy lands atoning for our greatest failure. At least I get to spend time with my two best friends! Egalmoth and Ecthelion make everything better. They are so dear to me. :-)
Ecthelion: [kill bill sirens] BEING AROUND GLORFINDEL IS HELL!! EVERY DAY I HAVE TO SEE HIS STUPID PERFECT FACE I SUFFER!!
Mysterious Child: Mama?
Egalmoth: Guys? Help, I think itâs imprinted on meâŠ
Chapter 2:
Glorfindel: Hey, Egalmoth, why do you think Ecthelionâs being so weird around me?
Egalmoth: Gee, I donât know, do you think it has anything to do with that Big Horrible Thing that upset him nine years ago?
Glorfindel: No.
Egalmoth:
Egalmoth:
Egalmoth: I canât live like this anymore.
Egalmoth: So, Ecthelion, have you considered fucking my cousin?
Mysterious Child: I am still here and I know all of your childhood nicknames. Donât worry about it.
Chapter 3:
Mysterious Child: My mom named me LĂłmion.
Glorfindel, Ecthelion, Egalmoth: Why is your name in Quenya? Who is your mother?
LĂłmion: *shrug*
Glorfindel: but⊠Tolkien didnât write very many women⊠the pool of options is so very limited⊠could it be-
Ecthelion: No.
Glorfindel: Why not?
Ecthelion: Because this is The Silmarillion. High tragedy and all that. Weâd have to be in a fix-it fic with benevolent authors for it to be her. Itâs not her.
Glorfindel: Phew, what a relief.
The Readers of This Fix-It Fic: ????
Chapter 4:Â
Ecthelion: [languishing upside-down on a rock in a river for Maximum Brooding Effectâą] HEY SO DO YOU REMEMBER NINE YEARS AGO WHEN YOU WHIPPED MY HORSE AND ORDERED ME LIKE A SERVANT BOY ACROSS THE BORDER, STRANDING ME IN GONDOLIN WITH AN ANGRY TURGON WHO WANTED TO KILL ME WHILE YOU RAN OFF TO PLAY THE HERO AS I SCREAMED AND BEGGED FOR YOU TO COME BACK?
Glorfindel: No.
Glorfindel: âŠwait, yes.
Ecthelion: I USED TO THINK WE WERE EQUALS IN A VERY STRAIGHT AND NOT HOMOEROTIC RIVAL WAY AND YOU BETRAYED OUR FRIENDSHIP AND I HATE YOU.
Glorfindel: You know what will solve this situation? Rage-baiting. I am very intelligent.
Celegorm: âsup assholes.
Curufin: Please excuse my brother. He means, âhow fare you all, wretched Indis-spawns and lowlife?â
LĂłmion: So, my mom is Aredhel.
Chapter 5:
Curufin: We do not have time to unpack this Aredhel stuff.
Glorfindel: but do we have time to unpack why Ecthelion is mad at me?
Egalmoth: I will explain it slowly and with small words.
Glorfindel: Oh golly. My bad. Ecthelion, Iâm very sorry.
Ecthelion: Iâm naked??? In what passes as a bath in this shithouse???
Glorfindel: I will brave the ice bath with you, because if you died, I would soon follow. Also, I came back to save you 9 years ago, thanks to some high treason.
Ecthelion: SO ITâS MY FAULT AREDHEL HAS REMAINED CAPTIVE ALL THIS TIME? [pukes and runs away]
Glorfindel: [staring at a bucket of puke] This is a weirdly unsexy bath scene.
Ecthelion: Hello, LĂłmion. I donât want to think about my problems, so here are some hairpins. Congrats, youâre a prince!
Chapter 6:
LĂłmion: I want to help you rescue my mom!
Ecthelion, Glorfindel, Egalmoth, Celegorm: NOPE! Curufin, youâre on babysitting duty.
Curufin: Do I get a say in this?
Egalmoth: Celegorm, I need you to do extra murders to make sure Glorfindel doesnât char his beautiful cinnamon roll soul.
Celegorm: Nice!
Glorfindel: Letâs look at old pictures of Aredhel. Â
[Montage of dead and vanished Noldorin Women as Sarah McLachlan music plays]
Sarah McLachlan: Hi, Iâm Sarah McLachlan. Please say youâll be the lifeline for all these Elven Women Tolkien didnât bother to write about. For just 18 comments a month weâll give a Noldo woman food, shelter⊠and love. Please call the number on your screen today.
[In the Arms Of the Angels fades out]
Glorfindel: Oh, did I forget to mention Iâm trans?
Ecthelion: How do you forget to mention that?
Glorfindel: I have this fun skill known as not thinking about anything at all ever. You should try it.
Ecthelion: SoâŠwhen I thought I met Glorfindelâs sister⊠OH, ERU, MY NOT-CRUSH SAW ME IN MY AWKWARD PHASE?
Chapter 7:
Ecthelion: Why would Egalmoth commit treason to save my life?
Egalmoth: You literally just answered your own question, you miserable asshole. Take a diamond.
Ecthelion: What a long, weird day. Iâm going to sleep.
Dream Mandos Wearing Glorfindelâs Face: I THINK YOU SUCK. SPEAKING OF SUCKINGâŠ
Ecthelion: WTF? Oh thank Eru it was just a nightmare. Better sneak into Glorfindelâs room.
Glorfindel: My life is an unending series of failures and misery, and I only bring pain to those around meâoh, hi Ecthelion! :D
Ecthelion: I am so deeply in agony every day. My longing for you is driving me to distraction and making me make risky and selfish decisions. I would do anything to be beside you and Iâm scared and confused because I donât understand why I need you so desperately.
Glorfindel: Yeah, we do fight well together, donât we?
Glorfindel:
Glorfindel: [leans in for a kiss]
Ecthelion: [ducks away] ANYWAY, letâs talk about YOUR problems now.
Chapter 8:
Egalmoth: [Bursting through the door] DID YOU TWO SLEEP TOGETHER?!
Glorfindel: No! Wait, yes. But no?
Egalmoth: Fuck! I just lost so much money.
Glorfindel: Youâre betting on us? No, stop, I wish Iâd never asked. Letâs go. Take this rose, Ecthelion, for reasons that Iâm sure you wonât misinterpret. I already miss LĂłmionâŠ
LĂłmion: Hello. Iâve come to help you kill my dad.
Celegorm: OromĂ«âs curly yellow pubes! Catch the little bratâHE HAS A KNIFE!
Egalmoth: Everybody calm down, let's settle this like mature adults.
Ecthelion: How about I tell the kid about my war trauma until he decides that maybe he doesnât want to commit violence anymore?
LĂłmion: [sniffles]
Glorfindel: Hey, hey, itâs okay, Iâll always come back for you. I love you.
Ecthelion: [internally: Eru, I wish that were me]
Egalmoth: Glorfindel, youâll be on babysitting duty during the battle, so we can keep all the pure and innocent cinnamon rolls far away from the evils of war, and no, I donât have a complex, why are you asking? Time for bed.
Glorfindel: Ăelyo? Are you alright? Are you having a nightmare? Oh! I guess⊠weâre cuddling now?
Ecthelion: [Wakes up from what was definitely not another horny Glorfindel-Mandos dream, wrapped in Glorfindelâs arms, in desperate need of a cold shower]
Ecthelion:
Ecthelion: Shit.
Chapter 9:
Celegorm: With all of this creepy magic and weird mist, how are we going to find Aredhel?
Ecthelion: Fear not, for the answer is, as always⊠jazz flute [plays Mission Impossible theme]
Glorfindel: Alright, LĂłmion, letâs go find safety.
Glorfindel: LĂłmion?
Glorfindel:Â LĂłmion?!
Ecthelion: [Jazz flutes his way into Aredhelâs prison]
Aredhel: Oh thank fuck youâre here! Quick, cut off my feetâŠ
Ecthelion: Cut off your feet? Who do you take me for, Fingon? Hah! Fingon didnât appreciate the power of jazz flute. [Plays Mission Impossible theme harder].
Aredhel: Amazing! Letâs go find my son. Uh⊠you donât look so good?
Ecthelion:Â I can do all things through jazz flute, which strengthens me.
Ecthelion: And also through the power of Gay Thoughts.
Ecthelion: [Plays Mission Impossible theme even harder]
Ecthelion: [Falls out of a tree]
Glorfindel:Â LĂłmion?!
Eöl: Greetings.
Glorfindel:Â You mother-fudger!
[They fight]
Glorfindel: I have you now! Prepare toâ
Egalmoth: LaurĂ«, no! He may be a mother-fudger, but you canât let his fudge stain your cinnamon-roll soul!
LĂłmion: I am also here.
Eöl: SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER! TIME TOâughghfjdkhghkgrggâŠ.. [falls over with an arrow in his neck]
Aredhel: [lowers bow] Well, that was less satisfying than I wanted, but necessary.
Egalmoth: What a disturbing day. Is everyone we actually care about alright?
Ecthelion: j-jazzâŠ. fluuuuteâŠ
Egalmoth: Okay, thatâs a no.
Chapter 10:
Ulmo: Look, dude, you did war crimes, sure, and thatâs real fucked up, but that doesnât mean I HATE you. Now get back out there and save the city! And try to chillax once in a while.
Ecthelion: hhhhhnggâGlorfindel! Stop touching me! We might accidentally get married!
Glorfindel: Oh Ecthelion, thank the valiant youâre awake! Donât be silly, weâd both have to want to get married in order to get married!
Ecthelion: Have I been⊠irrationally anxious over nothing this whole time?
Glorfindel: I feel like weâre making some real progress on this journey. And by âweâ I mean everyone but me because I donât have any problems or issues.
Ecthelion: [suppressed eternal screeching] Talking to a god has made me surprisingly chill and empathetic. Glorfindel, letâs talk about your problems and issues.
Glorfindel: Did you say a god? Nevermind, weâre back at the city. Hey, letâs bring everything full circle! If I offer Ecthelion my hand and invoke EruâŠ
Eru: Hello, did I hear someone submit a marriage application?
Ecthelion: SEE?? SEE?? I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG! LESSON LEARNED: MY ANXIETIES ARE ALWAYS PERFECTLY RATIONAL!!! THANK THE VALAR I DODGED THIS BULLET!
Chapter 11:
Idril: Aunt Aredhel! Youâre back and Gondolin finally passes the Bechdel test! Wait⊠whoâs this creepy kid?
Aredhel: Idril, if we only talk about men, Gondolin still wonât pass the Bechdel test.
Idril: Fair point. Come on, letâs go home!
Turgon: Sister. You have returned. I feel normal kingly emotions after this.
Aredhel: Would you like to give my son a father-name?
Lómion: No! Glorfindel already gave me a father-name: Lotsë!
Turgon: I feel normal kingly emotions about the guy with my wifeâs smile who is the most beloved lord of Gondolin and who by some succession laws should be king instead of me getting to give my nephew a father-name instead of me. Letâs party.
Glorfindel: Ecthelion! Your hair is down! Here, have this flower crown I took from 2012 Tumblr.
Ecthelion: OMV OMV OMV (Oh My Valar) we are touching but I donât think we are about to get married? Wait⊠maybe Egalmoth was right: if we just keep everything very fun and casual and meaningless because weâre not in love then maybe⊠maybe we canâŠ
Glorfindel: I think Iâm no longer Godâs Favorite Prince âčïž
Ecthelion: I know what will cheer you up...
[CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED]
Chapter 12:
Ecthelion: Wow, I am getting such a good grade in casual sex, something normal to want and possible to achieve.
Glorfindel: Did I take advantage of you? Am I a creep? A predator?
Ecthelion: No??? Iâm allowed to want to fuck you! Casually, I mean. Here, let meâ
[CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED]
Glorfindel: I love you.
Ecthelion: I AM GETTING A BAD GRADE IN CASUAL SEX! EGALMOTH, HELP!
Egalmoth: Buddy, youâre not having casual sex. And look! I have receipts.
[A moment of silence for Lalwen, who was extremely cool and kind and talented, who haunts the narrative and also my conscience as I write essays in tumblr tags wondering if Pebbles is a feminist text, and what that even means]
Ecthelion: Egalmoth, I really⊠care about you.
Egalmoth: Good job, bud! Solid B+ attempt. Now say that to Glorfindel, but better.
Aredhel [Diversity win, Tolkien woman is NOT dead anymore?]: Glorfindel! What brings you here to the statue of your tragically dead best friend?
[A moment of silence for Elenwë, who was extremely generous and kind and wise, who haunts the narrative but at least I can blame Tolkien for that instead of myself]
Glorfindel: I wanted to tell my tragically dead best friend about my relationship woes.
Aredhel: Have you considered not confessing your love to your famously insecure and anxiety-ridden love interest?
Glorfindel: Well, itâs too late now!
Ecthelion, who definitely does not have Egalmoth pointing a gun at his head offscreen: I love you.
Glorfindel: Yay! Waitâwhy are you crying?!
Ecthelion: Because when I mind-meld with people they throw up, so we canât ever get married!
Glorfindel: [pulls out bucket from chapter 5] Good thing I'm prepared!
Glorfindel: Welcome to The Sun and the Clear Pebbles of the Rain clip show!
Ecthelion: âŠ
Glorfindel: Are you holding back in case your stream of consciousness makes me seasick?
Ecthelion: If youâre sailing on a steam and not the ocean, can you actually get seasick? Or should we just say âmotion sickâ? Itâs not like anyone says âstreamsickâ... wait, Iâm doing it again, Iâm thinking things way too fast, oh no Iâve made you motion sick and this whole thing was a terrible idea it was a mistake Iâm so very sorryâ
Glorfindel: You should hold back less, trust me.
Ecthelion: That doesnât make sense to me, but Iâm the emotional equivalent of touch-starved, so Iâll agree.
Glorfindel: GET LOVED!!!
LĂłmion: Are you married now?
Ecthelion: No, I need more time to adjust and figure things out⊠but this city is a ticking time bomb, so if I want that time, thereâs only one thing to doâŠ
