that one time on Hotel Hell when Gordon Ramsay fed the owner’s dog some shitty bread and then was afraid he killed her
He checked her pulse
Give hotel credit for having good doggo.

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@seeking-beyond
that one time on Hotel Hell when Gordon Ramsay fed the owner’s dog some shitty bread and then was afraid he killed her
He checked her pulse
Give hotel credit for having good doggo.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
No! Please! I’ll tell you whatever you want to know!“ The man yelled. “Really?” said Vimes. “What’s the orbital velocity of the moon?” “What?” “Oh, you’d like something simpler?”
Terry Pratchett - Nights Watch (via terrypratchettparadise)
Dwarves live in the mountain depths. Elves, in the highest trees of the deepest forests. Orcs, in the depths of the most blasted wastelands. You are an estate agent trying to convince them to move someplace sensible instead.
Real Estate agents is a totally legit concept for a group of adventurers.
Perfect for high social skill parties; they can go on dungeon crawls to clear them out and try to fix them up and flip them. They can even help monsters like kobolds to refurbish their shitty warrens for better protection against murderhobos and go full Tucker’s. It can even make artisan’s tools useful during construction.
This is a genuinely good idea.
"Now I know what you're thinking. 'How could I possibly afford an elven treehouse in THIS economy?' Well don't you worry, this house is cheaper than ever and still just as good. Apparently former occupants had some kind of financial issues and none of the locals want to buy a foreclosed house for some pretentious reason. Elves, right?"
Introduction
Hey. I’ve done a lot of world building in alone with a very little input from others. The world I’m building is very old and it’s more of a playground for Ideas, a lot of Ideas I have based on games books and the like.
The world of Vis began roughly like our own and continued like roughly ours. Think Neil Gaiman’s American gods, Jim Butcher’s Dresden Files, and Cassandra Clare’s Mortal Instruments universe’s mashed together. Only ‘magic’ and the like is extremely rare and much harder to use. This goes on till roughly a time similar to our 2012 when the world did end.
The world as they knew it ended and it changed rapidly from that point. A large object came very close to the earth and screwed the electric and magnetic forces on the planet. This caused nukes to be launched into space or blow up where they lay. The nuclear winter was hell and only a few thousand people survived. When everything had cleared the world had changed drastically, now two moons and most of the land became one huge continent. What was left of humanity began to band together and form communities and some of the larger cities that were prepared began to grow. Think Fallout mixed with Cyberpunk in the large cities. Magic is more H.P. Lovecraft like. With most of the world forgetting names and any magic thats there is warped and strange.
This ended with the coming of the Motherstone, a large metor that crashed into the planet and brought with it magic in its full glory. This changed everything. In the time since the first calamity mankind had only just begun really, cities, kingdoms, and empires had risen and fallen but they had only really started to rediscover the technology of the past. Magic also changed man, creating many diffrent species of man each diffrent from man although all are descended from him. Think a mix of Skyrim, D&D’s Eberron setting, and Cyberpunk.
If you read all of that thank you. If you have Ideas Question or Suggestions don’t be afraid to message or send an ask. P.S. ther is more info on my page.

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disney character: mirror mirror on the wall, who is the farest of them all? mirror: look, susan, beauty is a socially constructed concept which can be defined in many ways by different people. moreover, regardless of which definition is used, it cannot be quantified and therefore cannot be accurately compared.
I strongly disagree with anyone who says Maleficent isn’t the best Disney villain. No singing, no dancing, no long expositions about her plans, no tolerance for bumbling comedy sidekicks (she electrocutes a whole room full of minions when she finds out they’ve fucked up and spent the last few years searching for a baby), just outright malicious intent.
I mean let’s take a look at her motivations compared to other popular Disney villains: SCAR - Wanted to become King.
URSULA - Wanted to rule the seas.
WICKED QUEEN - Wanted to rule as the most beautiful woman in the land.
JAFAR - Wanted to rule in the Sultan’s place and/or obtain ultimate power.
Maleficient, by contrast, didn’t want any of that. She didn’t want more power. She didn’t want fame. She didn’t want to rule. She just wanted to raise hell. This is the woman who decided that every newborn child in the kingdom should die and that the land should be covered in darkness for one reason - SHE WASN’T INVITED TO A MOTHERFUCKING PARTY.
That’s right, the evil bitch basically condemned an entire kingdom to die at her hands because she didn’t get invited to a christening.
This is not a woman with a motivation. She cannot be reasoned with. Her actions cannot be rationalized. She is evil for the fun of being evil, not because she wants something.
THAT, my friends, is the ultimate villain. One who knows they’re evil and LOVES it.
@the-gremlin-man
ok we're settling this discourse right now
put ur zodiac sign in the tags & if you like or dislike:
- pineapple on pizza - mint ice cream / mint chocolate - ketchup in mac n’ cheese - fries dipped in ice cream
@nivii It true.
@malarkey-maiden, every single time

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I just wanted to eat breakfast ;(
welp now we know the distinction between the two
Have….have people…not eaten shredded wheat before? The regular sized ones? You put it in a bowl and pour milk on it (with sugar + cinnamon if you’re not some lunatic fiber satan who just wants to eat wheat strings) and let it soak a bit before breaking it up and eating bite sized portions with your spoon. DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW THIS?!
NONE OF US KNEW THAT
WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO EAT A FUCKING MOIST BALE OF HAY.
We’re used to mini wheats…
I AM CRYING LAUGHING RIGHT NOW
@dreddzeppelin
Plain shredded wheat is my life. I just finished a box and got a new box today. Please don’t hurt me like this. ;_;
Also, I thought everyone knew shredded wheat came in 4 sizes:
I’m still laughing my ass off at “lunatic fiber satan”
so like weetbix?
@the-gremlin-man
yes please
1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?
2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?
3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?
4: Do you find it easy to trust others?
5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?
6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?
7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
8: Are you close with your dad?
9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?
10: What are you listening to?
11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?
12: Do you like hickeys?
13: What time do you go to bed?
14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?
16: Do you always answer your texts?
17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?
18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
21: Is anyone else in the room with you?
22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?
23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?
24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?
25: In the past week, have you cried?
26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?
27: Do people ever call you by your last name?
28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?
29: Do you have a best friend?
30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?
31: Who was your last call/text message from?
32: Are you mad at anyone?
33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?
35: How many more days until your birthday?
36: Do you have any summer plans yet?
37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?
38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?
39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?
40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
41: Do you think age matters in relationships?
42: Are you available?
43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?
44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?
45: Do you believe exes can be friends?
46: Do you regret anything?
47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?
48: Did you ever lose a best friend?
49: Was your last kiss a mistake?
50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?
51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?
52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?
53: What was the last thing you ate?
54: Did you get any compliments today?
55: Where are you going on your next vacation?
56: Do you own anything from other countries?
57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?
58: Where have you lived most of your life?
59: When was the last time you took a long drive?
60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?
62: Who do you text the most?
63: What was the last movie you saw?
64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?
65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?
66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?
67: Do you curse around your parents?
68: Are you happy with where you live?
69: Picture of yourself?
70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?
71: Have you ever been dumped?
72: What do you most like about making out?
73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?
74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?
75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?
76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?
77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?
78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?
79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?
80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?
81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?
82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?
83: Do you miss your last sweetie?
84: Last time you slow danced with someone?
85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?
86: How can I win your heart?
87: What is your astrological sign?
88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
89: Do you cook?
90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?
91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?
92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?
93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?
94: Name four things that you wish you had!
95: Are you a player?
96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?
97: Are you a tease?
98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?
99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?
100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?
101: Hugs or Kisses?
102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?
103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?
105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?
106: Do you flirt a lot?
107: Your last kiss?
108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?
109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?
110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?
111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?
112: Does someone like you currently?
113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?
114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
115: Ever made out with just a friend?
116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?
117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.
Gaming profiles should be stored in controllers now. That way when you go to a friends house you don’t have to worry about setting up a new profile and fine tuning the settings.
@the-gremlin-man, the option to save it to multiple controllers in case one breaks/gets lost, wouldn't you agree?
“ezra miller is going to be the first lgbt+ person to play a superhero!!”
i mean yes he’s going to be the first to get a solo movie but
oh, and:
all im getting from this post are that the x-men are really gay
The X-Men are really gay.
@snowleopard139 Gimme Nightcrawler any day.
@the-gremlin-man, I wouldn't shove a somewhat older Teenage Negasonic Warhead out of my bed
Funny Marriage Tweets (see 15 more)
Number seven would be me and my partner

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
GOD DAMN IT DAPHNE
@malarkey-maiden
i had a dream about fucking… vampire discourse on tumblr like;
“reminder that blood sucker is a slur”
“vamp-born-vamps are valid if u got bitten later in life you’re not part of the vamp community”
“support vamps who drink human blood, support vamps who drink animal blood, support vamps who drink animal and human blood”
fantasy tumblr would be fucking insufferable
god can you even imagine
“If you only have two legs you’re human-passing and don’t belong in the fantasy community”
“What about satyrs?’
“You can wear shoes”
“Just a reminder that if you appropriate mermaid culture you’re a piece of shit”
“Actually we don’t mind because a lot of our culture comes from humans”
“Shapeshifters aren’t valid because they can be human if they want”
Oh my god it gets worse and worse
Listen Sweaty :) :) :) Bigfoots and Jersey Devils aren’t REAL mythfolk :) :) You r just confuused humans :)))
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
stop fetishizing incubi
ONLY 👏FAIRIES 👏CAN 👏MAKE 👏FAIRY 👏RINGS
Why the FUCK did no one tag me in this
Werewolves are still werewolves no matter what form they’re in. We don’t stop being werewolves when we’re in human form, we don’t stop being werewolves when we’re in wolf form. Stop werewolf erasure!
Listen, I’ve been in a committed relationship with a selkie for over ten years. I can tell you that whole hiding-the-pelt-thing is total bullshit. If he wanted to leave he could, I am not holding him hostage. Please, stop spreading this hurtful misinformation.
Support veelas who dance naked at the crossroads
Support veelas who seduce random townspeople
Support veelas who take shepherds as lovers
STOP SLUT SHAMING VEELAS!!!!!!!
friendly reminder that “ghost” is a term reserved for noncorporeals. if you’re semicorporeal you’re a poltergeist. stop calling poltergeists ghosts.
destroy the idea that zombies “need” to eat brains
some zombies can’t eat brains due to physical conditions that make them too weak to gnaw through the skull
some zombies can’t digest them
some zombies just don’t like the taste
all of these zombies are STILL VALID
DONT 👏 HOARD 👏 ITEMS 👏 UNLESS 👏 YOU 👏 A 👏 DRAGON
This post gets worse every time I see it
OhmyGOD
LET👏SHIFTERS👏INTO👏THE👏COMMUNITY👏👏👏👏 THIS INCLUDES ALL SHIFTERS!👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
hydras with nine heads are just as valid as hydras with twenty
hydras with nine heads are just as valid as hydras with twenty
hydras with nine heads are just as valid as hydras with twenty
hydras with nine heads are just as valid as hydras with twenty
hydras with nine heads are just as valid as hydras with twenty
hydras with nine heads are just as valid as hydras with twenty
DONT👏WEAR👏FLOWER👏CROWNS👏UNLESS👏YOU👏ARE👏A👏WOODLAND👏CREATURE
ROBOTS. ARE. NOT. ALL. SERVICE. WORKERS.
STOP ASKING ROBOTS WHERE TO FIND THINGS IN SUPERMARKETS
stop calling demons evil just because they defied an oppressive system
demigods have a right to both halves of their heritage!
Repeat after me kids: Kelpies do. not. have to look like horses to still be Kelpies. Kelpies who take non-equine forms are JUST AS VALID as the Kelpies who take equine forms. Stop Kelpie purism and erasure.
Friendly reminder that Wendigos are possessed by cannibalistic spirits and can’t actually help their cravings.
Stop judging Wendigos for something they can’t control!
Don’t date underage elves! Human years and elf years are not the same!
Stop the pedophilia!
Support tieflings with horns. Support tieflings without horns. Support tieflings with tails. Support tieflings without tails.
Support tieflings.
This gets longer and better every time I see it
When I first reblogged this it had 3 additions to it and now… How far we’ve come
stop saying doppelgängers look alike. we know and it hurts enough that we’re getting confused with one another all the time, don’t shove it into our faces, k?
@the-gremlin-man