Terry Pratchett Quotes And Aesthetics!!!!!

"The vampire gave her the kind of smile only a vampire can give.  It would have been sheepish, if sheep had different teeth."

"The immortal remains of Brother Watchtower watched the dragon flap away into the fog, and then looked down at the congealing puddle of stone, metal and miscellaneous trace elements that was all that remained of the secret headquarters. And of its occupants, he realized in the dispassionate way that is part of being dead. You go through your whole life and end up a smear swirling around like cream in a coffee cup. Whatever the gods’ games were, they played them in a damn mysterious way. He looked up at the hooded figure beside him. “We never intended this,” he said weakly. “Honestly. No offense. We just wanted what was due to us.” A skeletal hand patted him on the shoulder, not unkindly. And Death said, CONGRATULATIONS"

"Monsters are getting more uppity, too," said another. "I heard where this guy, he killed this monster in this lake, no problem, stuck its arm up over the door-"

How do you spell 'contravention'?" said Carrot, turning over a page.

"Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir," said Carrot

"At times like this it's traditional that a hero comes forth," said the president of the Guild of Assassins. "A dragon slayer. Where is he, that's what I want to know? Why aren't our schools turning out young people with the kind of skills society needs."

"You’d have thought, with that pale, equine face, that he’d incline towards stuff with whips, needles, and young women in dungeons.  The other lords could have accepted that.  Nothing wrong with whips and needles, in moderation.  But the Patrician apparently spent his evenings studying reports and, on special occasions, if he could stand the excitement, playing chess."

"Only Ron's dog was watching William. He considered that it had, for a dog, a very offensive and knowing look. A Couple of months ago someaone had tried to hand William the old story about there being a dog in the city that could talk. William had explained that it was an urban myth. It was always a friend of a friend who had heard it talk, and it was never anyone who had seen the dog. The dog in front of William didn't look as if it could talk, but it DID look as if it would swear."

"What was once considered impossible is now quite easily achieved. Kings and lords come and go and leave nothing but statues in a desert, while a couple of young men tinkering in a workshop change the way the world works."

"DO NOT PUT ALL YOUR TRUST IN ROOT VEGETABLES. WHAT THINGS SEEM TO BE MAY NOT BE WHAT THEY ARE."

"Mrs. Tilly, I think you wrote a lovely well-spelled and grammatical letter to us suggesting that everyone under the age of eighteen shoulqd be flogged once a week to stop them being so noisy?’ '

"And something that distinguishes the Mr Windlings of the universe is the term 'in my humble opinion', which they think adds weight to their statements rather than indicating, in reality, 'these are the mean little views of someone with the social grace of duckweed'."

"We've always looked beyond the walls for the invaders," he said. "We always thought change came from outside, usually on the point of a sword. And then we look around and find that it comes the inside of the head of someone you wouldn't notice in the street."

"WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEART OF MEN? The Death of Rats looked up from the feast of the potato.

"In the Ramtops village where they dance the real Morris dance, for example, they believe that no-one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away – until the clock he wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested.  The span of someone’s life, they say, is only the core of their actual existence."