chicken soup for the cursed

nearly 80k reblogs and how many of you eat lamb

The ancient shepherds I'm referencing also ate lamb lol

thinking about the two little girls i babysat when i was a teenager who were like "lets play dogs :)" and im like alright cool lets do it and like 15 minutes later they were like "oh no we both have rabies you have to euthanize us now :("

Why does your post have lingerie on

God forbid a bitch be feeling herself while mentally ill in this economy 😢

I just mowed my 88 year old papas lawn and when i came back inside he lifted my arm to reveal a bug that was attempting to hitchhike into the house. At which point he said "you will NEVER escape my garden." And flicked it back into the grass

Garden of Eden Good Ending AU

i hate that diet culture means all the tasty drinks everywhere are loaded with stevia now. this isn't even a stance about health, I just think it tastes so fucking bad

7 year old piano student hurt his left hand falling off his bike so i let him start the song we’re learning with both hands to see how he went and then afterwards i said “okay how was that” and he went “sore” and i said “how sore” and he said “can i give you a percentage” and i said “that sounds like a great idea” and he looked at me and very seriously went “INFUDATE.” and i said “oh… infinite….” and he very very seriously added “infudate….. PLUS MARIO.”

OCD? Yeah she O when she C my D

“I would die for my kids” your children want an apology

your made up scenario isn’t real (shocker) and makes no difference when your kids are starving for your acknowledgment of the pain you caused them. you’re only performing the role of a good parent, without having to actually do any heavy lifting

Hard wife happy life

Home is where the hung wife is