Roses-and-Rainclouds

Renate Bertlmann

hoomans

Stakes - What would happen if the protagonist failed? Would it really be such a bad thing if it happened?

Thematic relevance - Do the events of the story speak to a greater emotional or moral message? Is the conflict resolved in a way that befits the theme?

Urgency - How much time does the protagonist have to complete their goal? Are there multiple factors complicating the situation?

Drive - What motivates the protagonist? Are they an active player in the story, or are they repeatedly getting pushed around by external forces? Could you swap them out for a different character with no impact on the plot? On the flip side, do the other characters have sensible motivations of their own?

When I tell you she's made men cry with this, I mean it. I have never seen anyone get a man to go to therapy by making it another task they have to do in order to be a Real Man (TM). I have seen full grown badass, shredded truckers and professional businessman and toughened good ole boys get teary eyed or freeze or cry silently when shown an ounce of compassion because men are starving for it. Men are so used to everything being yet another burden to carry and thing to do in order to earn manliness points in the eyes of the world that being told sincerely, "you deserve to be happy" just about short-circuits most of us. One time one of my bullies' dads went from yelling at my mom to trying not to cry because she just listened to him rant about how stretched thin he was being a single dad, put a hand on his and said, "That sounds like a lot to carry alone. I can't imagine how hard that's been." It was like she'd flipped a switch and suddenly he had permission to feel what the anger was disguising. (She then told my bully to try to think about his dad a bit more, because family needs family. And when I tell you this boy looked like he'd been called out by God Himself, I mean it; he had several revelations and stopped a lot of toxic behavior after that.)

I really hope this isn't derailing with personal anecdotes but I just. I really think it's baffling how tumblr will post all these quotes about kindness, compassion and love and then not extend them towards men. I just don't get it. Because men react to any of it extended towards them like someone in the desert presented suddenly with water.

One of my neighbors is known as the grumpy old guy who hates everyone. He is not grumpy or hateful towards me because I did the very Southern thing of making food for everyone and introducing myself when I moved in. I listened to him rant about how no one does that these days and how no one knows their neighbors and agreed that that's awful and we all need people and it sucks that we're all so isolated from each other. I told him it's cool that he still does stuff like foster cats and didn't let the world drain the kindness from him and y'all, that one tiny piece of acknowledgment that life is hard and his kindness in spite of it took work has made the "grumpy old guy who hates everyone" my bestie. He and I chat whenever we see each other in the hall. He is starving for positivity and gentleness.

One time on the bus, coming home from shopping, I got to talking to a guy in his 50's riding across from me. He wanted to know why I had a bunch of flowers. Snidely, he asked if I was giving them to my boyfriend. (I had on a vest with Pride pins at the time.) I explained actually, they were for my French professor, whose mother had died. He was confused that I said my professor was male. Nobody gave him flowers when his mom died a year ago, he said. I took a flower out of the arrangement and handed it to him as my stop approached. He looked at it as if I'd given him an entire flower store.

A chunk of the internet seems convinced that the way to stop hateful men is to meet hate with hate. I have yet to see that work. I have yet to even hear anecdotes that state that it works, only that it satisfies some internal desire to lash out in response to someone lashing out at you.

Later in the book, hooks covers her experiences with lesbian feminism, initially positioning it as a kind of utopia, a way to live without men altogether. Yet even here she saw the same things this thread is talking about, women themselves reproducing patriarchy and (internalized) misogyny to oppress not just other women but men as well. We are all guilty of this, and it takes a great deal of work to even be mindful of this, let alone to overcome it (which I'm not sure is possible in our current society).

(screen readers should be able to read this text so I haven't included any alt text or ID, but pls lmk if there are issues!)

full link to pdf: https://files.libcom.org/files/hooks%20-%20Feminism%20is%20for%20Everybody.pdf

TL;DR:

What is and was needed is a vision of masculinity where self-esteem and self-love of one's unique being forms the basis of identity.

Cultures of domination attack self-esteem, replacing it with a notion that we derive our sense of being from dominion over another. Patriarchal masculinity teaches men that their sense of self and identity, their reason for being, resides in their capacity to dominate others.

To change this males must critique and challenge male domination of the planet, of less powerful men, of women and children. But they must also have a clear vision of what feminist masculinity looks like.

How can you become what you cannot imagine? And that vision has yet to be made fully clear by feminist thinkers male or female.

...

A feminist vision which embraces feminist masculinity, which loves boys and men and demands on their behalf every right that we desire for girls and women, can renew the American male. Feminist thinking teaches us all, especially, how to love justice and freedom in ways that foster and affirm life. Clearly we need new strategies, new theories, guides that will show us how to create a world where feminist masculinity thrives.

One of my favourite illustrations of this was in a First Aid class. The instructor was a working paramedic. He asked, “Who here knows the stats on CPR? What percentage of people are saved by CPR outside a hospital?”

I happen to know but I’m trying not to be a TOTAL know it all in this class so I wait. And people guess 50% and he says, “Lower,” and 20% and so forth and eventually I sort of half put up my hand and I guess I had The Face because he eventually looked at me and said, “You know, don’t you.”

“My mom’s a doc,” I said. He gave me a “so say it” gesture and I said, “Four to ten percent depending on your sources.”

Everyone else looked surprised and horrified.

And the paramedic said, “We’re gonna talk a bit about some details of those figures* but first I want to talk about just this: when do you do CPR?”

The class dutifully replies: when someone is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse.

“What do we call someone who is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse?”

The class tries to figure out what the trick question is so I jump over the long pause and say, “A corpse.”

“Right,” says the paramedic. “Someone who isn’t breathing and has no heartbeat is dead. So what I’m telling you is that with this technique you have a 4-10% chance of raising the dead.”

So no, artists did not stop the Vietnam War from happening with the sheer Power of Art. The forces driving that military intervention were huge, had generations of momentum and are actually pretty damn complicated.

But if you think the mass rejection of the war was as meaningless as a soufflé - well.

Try sitting here for ten seconds and imagining where we’d be if the entire intellectual and artistic drive of the culture had been FOR the war. If everyone thought it was a GREAT IDEA.

What the whole world would look like.

Four-to-ten percent means that ninety to ninety-six percent of the time - more than nine times out of ten - CPR will do nothing, but that one time you’ll be in the company of someone worshipped as an incarnate god.

If you think the artists and performers attacking and showing up people like Donald Trump is meaningless try imagining a version of the world wherein they weren’t there.

Yes, it’s just a pie. Yes, the pie itself doesn’t do much direct damage in the grand scheme of things. But the pie is resistance, and resistance inspires resistance. Resistance inspires survival. Throwing pies sometimes starts a movement. Throwing pies sometimes saves lives.

And of course, we haven’t spoken about the inherent morality of throwing pies at oppressors in a world where oppressors have outlawed pie throwing. At the very least, pie throwing is a reminder to the oppressors that no matter how much money they have, no matter how much power they have, there are still some people, some moments they can’t control.

Imagine sitting in a packed auditorium and some asshole is up front is spouting bullshit about minorites. Like saying they’re filthy and deserve a violent death etc. And there are lots of people nodding along and even cheering and applauding

But no one is saying or doing anything to disagree, so you think that you’re the only one who opposes the speaker. And you don’t want to say anything because you don’t want their ire or violence to be aimed at you

So you go through the entire speech, and possibly your entire life, thinking you’re alone

BUT if just one person has the courage to speak up, to throw a pie, to project art on the screen behind the speaker, then that single act of resistance will inspire others to do the same. It could even inspire you to stand up. Or if you’re the first, then you can inspire others

3.75% of the entire country was in the streets on Saturday. Might not sound like a lot, but those are the kind of numbers that signal a toppling government or a revolution.

A popular artist suddenly made a trans man comic, and the viewers are not getting it

Now is the time to get fat, especially for people who are going to be put at risk by tariffs and restrictions on food stamps.

Now is the time to learn how to forage and how to use herbs to prevent and treat simple ailments.

Now is the time to learn first aid, how to stitch wounds, how to prevent a bullet wound from killing someone.

Now is the time to make plans to help disabled folks who can't run or defend themselves.

Now is the time to build muscle if you are physically able.

Now is the time to learn how to mend or create clothing.

Now is the time to try and transfer to physical media, and to transfer important information into something physical.

Now is the time to learn media literacy and how to decipher fake news.

Now is the time to understand that being a doomer will help no one, especially not yourself.

you will get hair in fun new places. this is normal and fine.

these places include (but are not limited to) if you don't already have them: your asscrack, your back, your ears, and moles. it's fine.

some of you, dick or not, will also lose hair. this is normal, but also if you have ovaries maybe get this checked out for PCOS.

your acne will probably change. some people get better. some people get worse. it's fine.

your nails will probably get an infection or a fungus at least once in your life. this is fine. (but also let your doc know).

how you gain and lose fat and where you do so will change. this is fine.

how you smell will change. this is fine. (fishy or rotten smells mean doctor time though)

if you have a prostate: it gets harder to pee. prostates enlarge as you age (get this checked regularly). this is fine.

if you do not have a prostate: it gets easier to pee but not in a good way. as in as you get older, your pelvic floor muscles tend to lose some of their strength. this makes it harder to keep pee in. this is fine.

all breasts and pectorals eventually sag, with the rest of your body. this is fine.

a decent percent of the population will experience a cyst at least once. some of you will make up for the rest with multiple. this is fine, but keep them checked out by a doctor. (sometimes this is a condition! get checked for that too!)

almost half of everyone gets hemorrhoids. it's a good idea to just expect them since your chances of getting them get higher the older you are. your toilet will look like a murder scene. definitely get your booty checked out BUT this is almost always perfectly normal. just eat more fiber. "but I already-" eat more fiber. and maybe suck it up and buy some hemorrhoid cream, you'll thank me later.

yes, this means you will probably need to make an appointment for a doctor to see your butthole. it's okay. not only do they really not care but 1. they've seen weirder that day and 2. they'd far rather you see them now than later when it's been going on for forty years and now it might be colon cancer. it's okay. consider it a rite of passage.

adults need more sleep than children. don't believe the myth that you need less than they do. that is capitalist propaganda to make you give up more of your life to the work grind, comrade.

vitamins and medicine, something you are more likely to take as you get older, sometimes make the toilet turn weird colors. it's okay.

if you still have your tonsils and get those little stones and get sore throats more than once a year you should plan on getting those suckers out before the tonsils cause an infection and go septic. if you're getting stones at all you should get those reevaluated every year, especially if the stones are bigger than a needlehead (or get bigger over time). it's gross and yucky. I don't care. get them looked at before you end up in the hospital.

you'll probably need to add foot support to your shoes if you don't already do. this is fine.

your body changes. sometimes it can feel sorta weird and upsetting that it isn't what it used to be. that is okay, and it is okay to be upset. just know that this is normal, it's normal to be upset or not upset, but don't let it hinder your quality of life. trans or cis, there is a certain level of acceptance you just gotta give your body and forgive your body for as you get older. it's okay.

if you still have your wisdom teeth and they're impacted, they might act up around certain points in your menstrual cycle. nobody told me this!

the lenses in your eyes begin to harden more and more as you age. go get an eye exam

you might find you have a new allergy out of nowhere. welcome to adulthood! it's fine

a more balanced food intake will be needed to shit properly if you don't already have issues. you'll find yourself knowing what natural laxative foods you prefer (coffee, prune plums, aloe vera, flax, olive oil, strong black tea, canned pears etc) and it won't be weird

back pain and sciatica are normal, but if it's chronic, get it looked at. not chiropractors btw. i mean an actual doctor that went to a registered medical school

good comfy shoes are worth more than gold

more and more you'll want some fuckin peace and quiet. this will inevitably rarely happen

your tastebuds will change! i find myself enjoying more bitter and rich, complex flavours like super-dark chocolate now, than at 20

posture is fake! look it up! just stand and sit in a variety of comfortable poses and move your body often. try to avoid shrimp poses though. like where you lean forward too much. they can get you so bendy that you won't stand tall for hours.

if you look away from a topic it will feel like you're missing something, more and more. this is fine. i don't know who those new celebrities are either. you'll suddenly not care one day and it will be beautiful

With people going inactive and deactivating, a lot of classic tumblr posts and also missed gems get lost because those connections get broken. Even on my own blog I forget about posts I made until I see someone in my activity reblog one of them- which then inspires me to reblog it myself because it was a good post and I want my new followers to see

do not feel bad about diving through someone's blog and reblogging shit from years ago, it keeps dashboards alive