Doug Dimmadome Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome

this world is so funny

but I’m done laughing

my cat when shes been wiggling all silly and happy while i pet her and then bites the shit out of me and leaves

“ice water makes you sick” “ice water gives you stomach cramps” i’m sorry if i have a hardy and oxlike american constitution but unless you have underlying health issues, the only water temperature that should cause adverse health effects is if you chug a gallon of boiling hot water that has also been laced with nefarious chemicals

Yeah, most people haven’t and never will so this won’t actually happen to me.

i love declining birth rates 🥰 "what a horrible problem! society will collapse!" oopsie it looks like you're gonna have to make having children worth it 😊 teehee you're gonna have to improve society in order to fix this problem, or it will all collapse. oh noooooo. how horrible. :3c

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

you can't get out that way!

that's not very helpful.

maybe the open window will help.

try the open window instead.

these relationships are always increasing numbers as well. so obviously we need six eleven to mean somethimg

Fortuneteller, turning over the Death card: Don't worry. It isn't literal. It simply refers to some form of change. Me: Phew Fortuneteller; turning over the Gets Eaten by the Fortuneteller While Trying to Leave card: That can also mean many things