It Tolls For Thee @not-your-average-url - Tumblr Blog

I love being hyperbolic. I also love being pedantic.

The duality of man

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rythyme

one time i visited a cemetery and this one dude's grave had THE sexiest male angel statue i've ever fucking seen. like. he was nude except for a sword and helmet. he had nipples. you could see his entire bare thigh. what a baller move to put an ancient athenian's wet dream on top of your eternal resting place. i think about him a lot.

rythyme

like is it just me or is this knight a little... 🥵

rythyme

wowee i'm all hot and sweaty from digging up the corpse of former us secretary of state John Hay.... now i'm exhausted and shirtless and allllll alone...... i sure hope this sexy knight statue doesn't come to life to punish me............. 👀👀👀

izhunny

orcboxer

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

arroscnleche

soy yooo tu ángel de la guarda holiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 bueno. en como seis meses, vas a morir de hambre. 🥺 y si no te protejo, me van a: #¡despedir! 🫢 y eso No esta Chido 🙅‍♀️jajaaa Entonces. 🙏investigue acerca del tema y resulta que: ¡puedo prevenir tu muerte al 100%! 😯 ¡Uh oh! 😆 Hay más que suficiente comida para que sobrevivas sin que interfieras con la supervivencia de los demás, ¡pero no puedes teneral! 🤨 ¿Queeeé? 🤷‍♀️ Al parecer, tu muerte fue premeditada por miles de cosas llamadas "accionistas." Y bueno. 🙏 empeze a matar personas,

tracing-rivers

c'est moooi ton ange gardien coucooou 😇 bon 🙏 alors. dans genre six mois, tu vas mourir de faim. 🥺 et si je te protège pas, je vais me faire: #virer ! 🫢 et ça c'est pas Pas Super 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Donc. 🙏 j'ai fait mes recherches sur les causes de famine et devine quoi: Ta mort est 100% évitable ! 😯 Oh-oh ! 😆 Il y a largement assez de ressources pour te nourrir sans interférer avec la survie d'autrui, mais tu n'y as pas accès ! 🤨 Quoooi ? 🤷‍♀️ Apparemment ta mort a été préméditée par des milliers de trucs appelées des "actionnaires". Du coup.🙏 j'ai tué pas mal de monde,

clockworkspider

hiiiiii 😇 我是亲的守护小天使！okay🙏 嗯。您在差不多半年会饿死哈🥺 若我不能救您我会被#炒鱿鱼！🫢 那可不行哦🙅‍♀️ 哈哈。所以昵🙏我查了一下人类饿死的原因，然后发现：诶呀呀😯亲的死是可以避免哒！😆 这世上有足够食物给亲吃，一点儿也不需要影响别人的生存率哒！但不给亲！🤨 怎么会这样昵？ 🤷‍♀️ 原来，亲的死是被一帮叫“股东”的东西计算好滴！所以昵🙏 我杀了一些人，

orcboxer

y'all are doing some rosetta stone shit to me

caffeinatedopossum

"I'm still kicking" is such a funny way to say "I'm still alive". Like lol. I'm still thrashing. Flailing. Writhing even. The violence remains.

3000s

what is "m-sec lesbian"

treecitysessions

I think it’s this bitch on the right

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bevsi

“the boy cries you a sweater of tears and you kill him” sounds like a richard siken poem but so does squidward’s subsequent line “this time there’s gonna be love. so much that he’s going to drown in it”

batmanglijandrobin

#just the three of us- you; me; and this brick wall you built between us#the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma#if i cant have you as a friend im going to make you a trophy#i defy you heart man#this city needs to be destroyed or at least painted a different color (x)

depsidase

segamascott

he still did 9/11 no one can take that from him ❤️

gunsandfireandshit

bace-jeleren

foldingfittedsheets

It is So Boring in the mattress store for kids. It’s basically hell for children because there’s fuckall to do for them.

A couple I was helping earlier had two little ones, three and six, who were behaving in a rather saintly fashion for the average bored kid I see. I tried to engage them with remotes and things while their parents talked.

Eventually they were restless enough that I pulled out notepads and asked if they wanted to draw. The three year old quickly lost interest and I went over to ask her favorite animal. She told me “elephant” so to delight and amaze her I started drawing an elephant. Usually kids are into it.

When I was done she pronounced, “It looks like a giraffe.”

I staggered back melodramatically but actually laughing hysterically and said, “There goes my art degree!”

The parents laughed and said kids were harsh critics. When they checked out they saw my elephant doodle on the desk and both did a double take like, “Woah, that’s a really good elephant!”

“Yeah, I actually did go to art school, but it’s okay. My niece wasn’t very impressed with my drawings at that age either.”

foldingfittedsheets

Behold, a giraffe.

robin-teddybear

it's kinda comforting to me when my friends are a little annoying or longwinded or abrasive or tired and inarticulate, or they don't do the exact politest thing in every interaction, and stuff, because I know I'm sometimes annoying, or take up a more than my share of conversational space, or forget to ask them questions, etc etc, and... like, I'm always working to be nice to my friends and to get better and better at friend-ing, but it just makes me feel more human about it :}

anyway I love you friends plz know I'm not counting, in fact I feel great affection toward you even (especially) when conversations go less than Perfectly Ideal

saulwexler

I'm not proud to say it but this line from a 60 year old detective novel made me re-think some things about friendship

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7777777awawawa7777777

sorry everyone we won’t be seeing any men today they’ve all been bricked into their enclosure

m1dori-eyes

The Masc of Amontillado

punkrock-bottom

Letting my youtuber boyfriend smash my like button until i subscribe all over him

lawoftheclaw-deactivated2025073

Maladaptive deeply held belief: nobody could ever love me. Im going to die alone

Positive counterthought: maybe someone has an exceptionally rare form of mental illness that would cause them to make the grave mistake of wanting to fuck me

I miss when ads were a single click and then they’re gone. Now every ad has a minimum of three phases where you watch a video, exit the still frame of fake gameplay, and then exit the app download. That doesn’t even touch on the ones that forcibly take you to another app after opening a tab in safari without you ever touching the screen.

I hate advertising. I hate that you can’t do anything without companies jumping down your throat with mostly bullshit ads. I hate that billboards exist. I hate that every company unanimously decided to make their ads longer and longer. I hate that ad blockers try to charge you money and there are in app purchases to remove ads. I hate that my attention has become commodified. I hate that there’s nothing I can do about it.

whencartoonsruletheworld

For good reason, we're talking a lot about Jax, but I wanna analyze this scene with Caine for a second. His scene is very symbolic, and I think when he connected to the internet here, the scene of him almost walking through the door shows that he had a chance to leave. Caine could have escaped the computer and gone into the internet, but he hesitates at that door, and then stops and just stands at the barrier and decides to search everyone's names.

I think this is silent bit is Caine considering leaving, but then he decides that he can't until he's made things right. Instead of running away, he's going to go back and do what he can to fix things, even if it means they hate him. Even if it means he has to change.

which is probably a good thing because he's already sex-repulsed. if that bitch saw what those drawings of him on bsky i think he'd actually go full AM on the planet

inksandpensblog

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