Lack of Life

Like, everyone knew this was a political battle going in. That was the entire pretense, everyone knew it. This wasn't a dinner party, this was a battlefield

And Trent was very prepared. He had time to plan out his bullshit story to enact the most physic damage on his precious little boy. He has home team advantage. He has all his props and implied threats. He has his two henchman prepped and ready for this.

But dude is so used to fucking, respectable and hidden dagger type politics with people who have very set and conflicting goals and who battle by the very specific and unspoken rules of political engagement where breaking even one of these could result in social backlash by the most powerful mages in the world-

-Only to, immediately and suddenly discover that the Might Nein give negative shits about his political game because they brought their own card baby!

You lose control before anyone even takes a fucking seat. These people are too amazed by the concept of an elevator to even pick up on any of your actual threats or implications, play an extremely stressful game of musical chairs, before half of them start mean-girling your most trusted acolyte, and when you try and read the mind of the main mean girl literally all she is thinking about is how hot her friends tits are

Then when you start to say how you totally masterminded everything and planned all of this the dumb one is genuinely so confused about this entire thing that she makes you lay the entire thing out, which makes it very clear that the logic of this makes no sense, and yeah, sure, Caleb is shaken but its starting to be very clear that none of these other people are buying it, and they seem to know the backstory already so you can't actually pull your cards out because despite your prodding them seem to be a very united front. If anything you're people are significantly more shaken by this whole thing than they are, because they're mainly concerned with eating their meals before they get kicked out

Then when you go to leave the one guy who was actually trying to be cordial for this whole thing, thanks you for dinner, says you are a wizard of immense skill, and then completely calmly suggests that you should really try and find someone who will mourn you when you are gone, and you read his mind and he is being so deadass honest about that fact that it actually does physic damage

You follow the group out in the guise of an hour. The main mean girl one immediately flips you off and yells "Fuck you Professor Thadeus!"

The other, secondary mean girl is apologizing to your main henchman, saying her hair really is great, and that she's forgiven for all of the murders.

The Calamity finale:

Bonuses:

Lou — "[Brennan:] Zerxus, you pull the true heart of the Lord of the Hells into Exandria."

Marisha — "[Brennan:] This will be our final roll of this campaign."

Luis — Sam begins to describe Loquatius cycling through the faces of those he wronged or failed as he loses consciousness.

Sam — Marisha rolls two 10s on her Counterspell against Power Word Kill.

Aabria — "[Aabria:] Is this a spell effect?" // "[Travis:] No, this is physics."

Travis — "[Elias:] I don't know why I didn't send it. I don't know why I didn't—" // [Zerxus:] You don't need to explain yourself. I know why, and it's okay."

Bonuses:

Aabria — "[Luis:] I pull him." // "[Aabria:] Does the Time Stop stop?"

Marisha — "[Asmodeus:] Let's get ourselves cleaned up."

[ID: A digital illustration of Thimble and Occtis Tachonis from Critical Role. Thimble is the size of a human and grinning as she hugs Occtis, lifting him slightly off the ground so his feet dangle just above the floor. Occtis is hugging Thimble back and looking very surprised to be in the air. End description.]

https://www.vaticannews.va/en/vatican-city/news/2026-07/holy-see-decrees-excommunication-lefebrians-consecrations.html

Then Primus Tachonis walks in and slams out instantly-recognizable 9th level spell Power Word Kill, which can only be cast by a character level 17 or higher.

Zebani Halovar.

Her nitwit little brother comes back after going awol for nearly 2 weeks, and manages to get back into their grandmother's good graces almost immediately.

Her nitwit little brother is invited to the meeting of the Sundered Houses

At the meeting of the Sundered Houses, her grandmother publicly reinforces to all the Lords present that she is getting passed over as heir in favour of her nitwit little brother.

After she comes to report that Halandil Fang isn't going ahead with her grandmother's revision, her nitwit little brother asserts his authority over her by telling her not to do anything without the authorities of her masters (aka him). Because he is the heir to the House, she can't do anything other than agree.

She goes with her uncle and some mercenaries & city soldiers to arrest Halandil, relying on word that he stole the Pariah Blades (presumably from Lady Dacen Cormoray) as a front to arrest him.

The excuse falls apart in 2 seconds because Thaisha Lloy is there and oops it turns out that the Pariah Blades to the Lloy family and they can take them back whenever they want.

Thaisha Lloy summons a storm to threaten the mercenaries and forces her to admit this is about the play. She and the mercenaries quickly realize how many people are there.

She then has to march home to tell her grandmother that she completely failed.

A wind blows out the candles they brought and she has to go home in the dark.