Lack of Life

direct orders of "you really really need to kill this guy" ignored: 1

Do not work on your days off.

"But--"

Do not “answer a few emails” on your vacation

Do not work off the clock

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

I have a friend who’s an emergency-room specialist who keeps frustrating her bosses and her staff with her ability to diagnose, and successfully treat, people that other doctors would have just negligently killed. I would class her as one of the top-three diagnosticians in America.

And she says she feels stupid most of the time. A lot dumber than a lot of the doctors she works with. She says there’s nothing special about her, and is baffled that so many of us love her. She can’t explain how the other, smarter doctors can’t seem to save as many lives.

I tell her every chance I get, and now I’ll start using Columbo as an example of why, that smarts aren’t everything. She has something that the fictional Detective Columbo had that can’t be taught, apparently, that you either have or you don’t:

She gives a shit.

“We tried all *three* of the obvious things and nothing worked, so I guess the criminal is going to get away with it/the patient is going to die”? She hasn’t got an ounce of that in her, no matter how recalcitrant and/or sullen the patients or her staff are, no matter how frustrated and tired she gets. If she doesn’t know the answer, she can’t stop asking the question, because just letting the patient die, giving up on them, is literally not a thing she knows how to do.

(God, I love this woman.)

Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.

"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.

You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.

I usually suggest this technique as a "Reverse Pomodoro." In the original Pomodoro, you work for 25 minutes and then take a break for 5 minutes (the times vary, but that's the essential ratio). People with executive dysfunction often find this insurmountable, and they get even more frustrated, and then the task seems even more difficult. So instead, flip those times.

FIRST, spend 25 minutes doing something energizing and engaging that you like to do. Not scrolling social media passively, not watching tv, not napping. Try something like colouring, doing yoga, running/walking around the block, talking about your favourite tv show with someone in real time, playing with the dog or cat, making and eating a lovely sandwich, hula hooping, something active. Having a little treat absolutely falls in this category!

(on the subject of little treats: refusing yourself food until you do work is for fucking Puritans and you can be kinder to yourself)

Then, after 25 minutes (or however long it takes to eat the sandwich or finish the yoga routine, it doesn't have to be exact), spend 5 minutes writing (or doing whatever you're struggling to start). Most people can coax themselves into doing something they find difficult for five minutes, if they have already filled up the joy/energy/engagement bucket. You can put a timer on for the 5 minutes if you want, or if you find that annoying, just work for as long as you like.

The other key is: don't push yourself to keep going when you're frustrated or tired—that will just reinforce the negative belief that you already have, which tells you that this task is painful to do, and needs to be avoided. If you've commonly had to force yourself to do this kind of task, that's likely part of why you think of it as painful and have trouble starting it now. Also, you should just, at a basic level, try not to put yourself in pain for the sake of productivity. So just do it till the good feelings run out. Then start hula hooping or colouring again for another 25 minutes. When the tank's refilled, try another 5 minutes of work, if you can. Adjust times to taste.