eat pant

God will see you at the lowest point of your life, and say "what the fuck I thought I killed that thing." But you skitter too fast and you are too creepy.

Just saw my doctor type "FUCKED FOR LIFE" on my chart then he turned the screen away and stopped making eye contact with me

my mother is playing pikmin and yelling at them in the exact tone of voice she uses for me and my siblings so we go into fight or flight every time. we thought initially that this meant she regarded the pikmin as akin to her children, but I now fear she’s always viewed us as pikmin

This is how I found out that Ada Lovelace was Lord Byrons daughter

working with kids and one of them says “you know you eat 8 spiders a night on average right?” and another goes “no no no those statistics are actually skewed by people who like eat spiders recreationally for fun and stuff” and my head snapped up like a fucking sleeper agent

wha t if oregon trail was called wagon age: oregons

This made me so angry the first time I saw it I’m reblogging it again.

happy 10 years to wagon age oregons

I passed a flower shop next to a tattoo shop and at first I laughed because I thought it was ironic and then i freaked because IMAGINE YOUR OTP IN A FLORIST/TATTOO ARTIST AU

OMG I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE THEM LIKE THAT IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT

I cannot BELIEVE a post I made when I was 13 is circulating! And also apparently started this trope? I thought somebody had the idea separately and it blew up that way😭

@hellsite-hall-of-fame for your collection

putting ketchup on fries is too permanent for me … i have to dip . i control the sauce

who turned them german mid tag ?

how do you know they were transformed midday?

when a woman puts her everything into an outfit and her face is shiny like a disco ball and she layered her fav perfume with oil and then her bf puts on some shorts and a shirt like u better put on a fucking pink wig and lace panties im so mad at you rn