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cavemanmark

Markiplier as The Convict/Simon Iron Lung (2026) dir. Markiplier

lilyflxwers

ok i absolutely need to know what accents u all have pls reblog and tell me or comment or whatever I must know

#generic tv American but also you can probably tell I’m from New Jersey

st1cksandst4ns

this ever happen to anybody else

alliekills

before we move forward with these blueprints i just wanna make absolutely sure the vents and air ducts are perfectly adult xenomorph size

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polishkurapika

geniusbee

these are getting weird

homoqueerjewhobbit

Another reason I want more Addams Family with the 90s cast is I think it would be so nice to see Morticia uncorseted and aging gracefully. I don't think she'd go full Grandmama but do you really think an Addams is afraid of wrinkles and cellulite?

Look me in the eye and tell me Anjelica Huston doesn't still have it.

homoqueerjewhobbit

Some normie to Morticia: don't do _______, it will give you wrinkles.

Gomez: God, I hope so.

roach-works

at morticia's 50th birthday party everyone's making Over The Hill jokes with the same envious joy you would celebrate your cousin's hundred million dollar lottery win. the "hill" decorations are various piles of rats, bones, garbage, severed limbs. there's a lot of chains and stolen crucifixes around instead of party streamers. the cake is a graveyard hill and they cut it with a visibly filthy shovel.

'one foot in the grave' gomez tells his wife, actively crying, 'and what a foot!'

morticia has the first slice of cake (it has a little sugar grave on it). when she finishes her delicate spoonful and smiles, the camera zooms in and we see she has spontaneously developed crow's feet. off camera is the sound of her husband really unsubtly orgasming.

after the party they drive off in a hearse with glass bottles of formaldehyde tied to the bumper. it says JUST OLD in the back.

the unsubtle orgasm noises continue.

gothiccharmschool

YES. I WANT THIS.

b0tster

'why do ur lesbian ocs need condoms?'

bsky replies: its not uncommon for some tops to put condoms on the strap because its still possible to transmit std's. also it could just be a joke and shes just doing it cuz shes bisexual or something and has them lying around maybe and its funny cuz they dont need them?

tumblr replies: 'because bia has a massive cock'

b0tster

just saw someone say 'well trans woman are infertile so they wouldnt need condoms' and that is so many layers of incorrect i had to sit down lol 💀

animentality

arrowandaxe

bee-in-your-binnet

Coyotes trying their damndest to get domesticated

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fnordseer5

our idiotic ancestors used to believe stuff that's not true but luckily we've now figured out all the true things to believe in

enameledcoppergirl

*Wriggling around on the lab floor* I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute.

krippe90

moveslikekeithrichards

huge fan of when cats reach out and touch each other with disrespectful intent

merymeou

It’s been so long since I got to see a thing and think: wow yeah this could only happen on tumblr. This is one such thing and I had to contribute. Let Simon have a weird fucked up religious sorta relationship with Grace! This man has issues!! He’s never been off a space station!! The Hail Mary is literally as close as he could imagine as heaven!!!!!!

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demilypyro

New Demily Pyro reference sheet for the 2026 model!

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dreamyintersexpuppy

we have to stop moralizing the human condition and start jerking each other off while making out

dreamyintersexpuppy

I have had so many bad takes on this post and not only is this a breath of fresh air, I’m gonna kiss you for it, you get me

quietwingsinthesky

you know what i still can’t believe anyone was surprised that deltarune!toriel is neglectful of kris. within five minutes of meeting her in undertale, she adopts this five year old, tells them the ruins are full of monsters who will try to hurt them, then hands them a cellphone and abandons them for at least an hour, if not more, based on her having the pie ready by the time you catch up. she’s just kinda like that.

#deltarune

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