Trash Can (Not Can't)

Wheres my toy or i'll get mad now

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

on twitter this got a bunch of responses like “wow even the evil fujoshis? the homophobic yet hypocritically fetishistic ones? what if the fujoshi is racist?” and like well no obviously not in that case.

“shoutout to everybody from new jersey!” “even the new jersey serial killers…?”

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

a book should be $5 a little drink should be $2 and museum access should be free and all hours

i don’t know how people care about sports but it’s okay

it’s really not.

i’m tired of pretending it’s okay. we have to kill them

i think all quiet on the western front and the lord of the rings are in direct conversation with each other, as in theyre the retelling of the same war with one saying here’s what happened, we all died, and it did not matter at all and another going hush little boy, of course we won, of course your friends came back

someone should remake lord of the rings as a grandfather telling a fantasy story to his grand child with flashbacks to world war one showing the dead boys and men the characters were based on. grandpa why didn’t they just fly. because they didn’t. they didn’t.

…oh.