@curiosity-killed - Tumblr Blog

I feel like my goal for this Pride should be to go to one of the 3+ gay clubs/bars on my block

#there are many more within blocks of me #but the fact that there are so many *on* my block #and I have been to none #feels embarrassing #personal

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kosmogrl

#Yosemite….🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

sing-you-fools

i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while

sing-you-fools

i am kissing you on the mouth right now

you are the only person who understands me. you and the person who tagged a series of unfortunate events

tls123

This flute… I've never seen you hold it before.

#god the lotus pier one…it Gets me #it is also like 99% of the inspiration behind bow so 😅 that tracks #the untamed #Yunmeng sibs

batmanisagatewaydrug

idk man I'm thinking a lot about the discourse being reported in this post and my own post about crushes, which has garnered a lot of responses like this one

and I don't know exactly what to do with this yet but I'm fascinated, in a really upsetting way, by the way some of these people seem to conceptualize romantic and/or sexual attraction as an act of violation that no one should do to people they like and care about. if nothing else it raises some really compelling questions about what they think actually goes on between people who have sex and/or romantic bonds with each other if that's not supposed to be something that happens between friends.

runawaymarbles

It's also so depressing how damaging this mindset is down the road. Those tags were kind of the going social logic my last few years of high school, and so while I never had internalized homophobia in the "being gay is icky" sense, boy did "any romantic or sexual attractions to your FRIENDS is HORRIBLE and WRONG and you NEED TO CUT THAT OUT because it's a BURDEN TO THEM AS A PERSON AND THEY JUST WANT A FRIEND, THEY DON'T DESERVE YOUR WEIRD SHIT" do a fucking number on me that I spent my 20s trying to sort out.

writer-ace

I don't disagree with any of this, but I think that, in some experiences, the act of having a crush on someone is different from the act of telling someone you have a crush on them, specifically in regards to how the telling can then put a social burden or expectation on the person who was told.

With the way that society prioritizes romantic relationships over platonic relationships, and the way that culturally we are expected to celebrate romantic love, there is some level of social expectation that, if someone tells you that they have a crush on you, you are supposed to either "give them a chance" or in some other way adjust your behavior to account for their feelings. Their romantic or sexual feelings for you now become something you need to keep in mind when engaging with them.

For example, if someone has told you that they have a crush on you, by some set of social expectations (at least based on reading a fuckton of romance novels and such), you're then not supposed to talk about romantic feelings you have for other people, talk about dates you go on, etc., because it might hurt their feelings.

It's not exactly the same, but when I was in high school a guy I barely knew asked me to prom, and I had countless people including a teacher pressuring me to say yes--and it is, I think, the same general principle. I was supposed to "give him a chance" because he had expressed romantic interest in me, and that's how it goes.

(I did say yes, we dated for eighteen months, and it was Not Good.)

All of this is to say that I absolutely agree with you that having a crush on someone or being romantically or sexually attracted to them in some way is not harmful or a burden on them. But I think it's also important to recognize the ways in which amatonormativity can turn someone telling you that they have a crush on you into a clear set of social expectations that can be burdensome or fundamentally harm a relationship.

(What is the solution? I don't know. I'm not saying never tell anyone you have a crush on them. Just that dismissing the feelings of people who have felt hurt or burdened by the experience isn't really fair either.)

#yeah I mean as a person who had multiple friendships fall apart bc I didn’t reciprocate their romantic feelings #I do think there’s a big difference between having a crush and telling them #AND telling them and expecting reciprocation #one of my best college friends had a very very obvious crush on me #asked me out in a….chaotic and very sappy way #drunkenly cried in the hallway with my roommate while eating all her baby carrots when I turned him down #and then got up the next day and was still a good and close friend #you can’t control crushes but I don’t think you should tell someone you have that crush unless you’re prepared to do likewise #your feelings are your own and you can’t demand/expect someone to have the same ones or punish them for not #(see other friend that same year who gave me the cold shoulder for 6 mo after turning him down)

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cepheusgalaxy

"Doomed yaoi" this "doomed yuri" that what about doomed found family. What about finding comfort in these new people after going through so much on your own—a community, a solace, a home to come back to. Caring for them with all you've got, only to realize that it wasn't going to work, ever, no matter what you tried. Only to have it ripped apart, no matter how much you tried to hold them close. Found family that becomes lost family. Found family that takes your heart with it when they go.

#*Will smith pose* TCP!!!!!#story: tcp

dappermouth

And then you had that dream again.

#art #ugh i love this

cobythinks

Dead wife montage but it's all slow motion shots of your dead wife throwing grenades and doing backflips and oneshotting the enemy with their long range weapons

#stucky #tbh

redstonedust

number one thing i want for public bathrooms is for them to be unisex accessible safe private and clean. number two thing i want for pubic bathrooms is for them to have flat surfaces in the stalls you can put your handheld items down on when youre shittin. ive encountered it in like two bathrooms ever and it changed my life for real.

#REAL #as part of accessible i would also like more of them

Okay this is the last vent for today bc like. I’m fucking tired. But I do feel a certain type of way about the way my sister cannot like…allow other people’s values/priorities/approaches/etc to be taken as seriously as hers. Like I fucking love dance, have danced consistently since I was 4 years old, am somehow! making it work to be a professional dancer (imperfectly) while working a full time job!! and her stance is still insistent that I should dance less and have “better boundaries” around dance. I love to write, I have been writing since I was in elementary school, I delight in writing—and yet her writing is “work” that should be taken seriously while mine is just a silly frivolous thing I do to “keep myself entertained”

Like I’m at the point of flatout telling her that if I had her life I would be fucking miserable (true) and missing most the things that make my life worth living just to get her to at least consider that maybe (maybe!!) we are different people who want different things in life and those different things still deserve equal respect

#like again it’s been a shitty fucking week #she knows I felt like crap today #and she was texting me dumb shit about her cat and how tired *she* is and it was a chill chat #until I mentioned that I’d gone to dance and all she could summon up was ‘’cool.’’#like yeah bitch I’m doing exactly what you don’t want me to because it’s MY FUCKING LIFE and I get to choose to do the things that bring me #joy #even if!!!! those things don’t bring you joy!! because it is not! your! fucking! life!!#personal #this is also part of the problem that coworkers and I are having with her at work #like she is so fucking rigid about the ‘right’ (her) way and so fucking un self aware that idk how you even broach the topic with her #nothing I’ve tried has ever worked

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punkedupfaerie

a striptease but I slowly pull out my teeth

#how I’m feeling lately

heymeowmao

雨霖铃 | Zhan Zhao Adventures E37 ° I follow the person, not the throne.

#book accurate hua cheng????

curiosity-killed

One must hope that class is fun and annoying people aren’t there.

curiosity-killed

Class was fun and there weren’t annoying people!

#and I did spend a while chatting with my latest baby dancer #who is an adult but feels like a baby to me #curio dances #I think my summer schedule is going to include Monday yoga and Friday contemporary #and maybe that will fix me

xekstrin

Boyfriend: wait but I thought you could change from alpha to omega? Like you get hit with a pheromone and bam become that and you fuck, but the rest of the time you’re androgynous

Me: … I think you have confused omegaverse with the seminal piece of science fiction literature The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K Le Guin

xekstrin

Nationalism is a societal evil

l-art-stuff-l

[ image ID: tags that read “wait what is left hand of darkness about” /end ID ]

#I maintain that omegaverse would be improved by incorporating kemmer #it doesn’t have to be a 1:1 integration! but get a little more gender fucky with it

One must hope that class is fun and annoying people aren’t there.

#given the studio I’m going to I’m mostly hoping for the former #and hoping no one talks to me #I need to not be a person for 2 hours #personal

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striders

#god #please

ok now that I’ve eaten food and am a little further from the verge of bawling, it is kind of fucking hilarious that my sister’s response to me being rlly fucking drained was like “You tend to fill your free time with like class and choreography and stuff, so are you actually going to rest instead of over scheduling your weekend?” OR IN OTHER WORDS “you tend to fill your free time with things you love and which bring you joy so are you actually going to lay at home and cry (??) this weekend instead?”

#like I do tend to overschedule myself #unfortunately that’s also sorta like. the deal?#when you have a professional career AND a side job AND are trying to make it as a professional freelancer on the side #(and honestly just do intensive hobbies)#which goes back to her never actually taking my shit seriously #but this was just so soooo like obviously tone deaf #like no. I am going to avoid all the things I love and hide at home #bc THAT will make me feel better #personal

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