DOCTOR WHO | Doomsday
I met the Emperor, and I took the Time Vortex and poured it into his head and turned him into dust. Did you get that? The God of all Daleks and I destroyed him.
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@superiorjello
DOCTOR WHO | Doomsday
I met the Emperor, and I took the Time Vortex and poured it into his head and turned him into dust. Did you get that? The God of all Daleks and I destroyed him.

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that one is a win win, shaded parking, and electricity production
If I were an evil emperor in a fantasy world, I would have a an enormous aviary full of exotic birds that are exceptionally well cared for. They would be from a distant enough land that there would be very few people in my kingdom that knew much about them, they would be a friendly but not overly territorial species, and moderately intelligent. Like puffins. They would not, crucially, be able to imitate sounds and 'speak', but they would be very trainable and curious. Occasionally importing new birds for my aviary would be the Big Frivolous Indulgence that my political enemies make fun of.
I will also have a sorceror in my employ. When a hero or a renegade or a political rival is in a situation where I can safely kill them, they will instead be turned into a bird and added to my aviary. I would not brag about this; it would be a complete secret, known only to me and my sorceror. In situations where I capture multiple people working together, only one would go in the aviary;the others can be imprisoned or killed or whatever. If they escape and I reacquire them later, another one can go in the aviary. The point here is that nobody going in the aviary can safely assume that another bird in there is their teammate.
Because I would be trickling real birds in there, too. And I would train some of them to do 'intelligent' things like tap out prime numbers or scratch shapes into the dirt with their beaks. I would train some of them to pick at the locks and bars as if they were trying to escape. I would not train them all the same way, or train many of them at all.
Sometimes, a new bird goes into the aviary -- fellow revolutionary? Or just a bird? Is it trying to communicate to you that it's human, or just being friendly and imitating you because that's what smart friendly birds do? People would develop opinions and theories over time. They'd amass in a group of the smartest ones, pretty sure that they're closest four or five friends are humans, are using their invented little language of wing-flaps and trills with a human mind behind it... but can they ever really be sure?
Most people, when going into the aviary, would assume that all of the birds are captured enemies. So why are some of them hard to have ongoing communication with, to learn about, to plan with? Are these the natural communication barriers of someone in a bird body, or does being a bird make them stupider over time? Will that happen to them also?
Sometimes, if I capture a pair, I'll imprison them separately, then turn one into a bird and put them in the aviary at the same time as a real bird that's trained to have a couple of their partner's mannerisms.
When I interact with the birds, even in private, I won't secretly mock them or make clever veiled references to their past or act at all like I remember that they were once human. They are my birds, that I imported at great expense. And I've brought a treat for them; some fresh fruit, and another friend to share it with! A new bird!
Or is it?
Hey Derin what the fuck
#on tumblr thereso many 'if i were evil' ideas that aren't evil. and then there's this guy. 10/10 villainy. would scar an entire generation.#full villain approval
Look, Evil Emperor is a high bar. Empires are pretty evil by default so if you want to earn the title of Evil Emperor instead of Normal Emperor then you've really gotta put the work in. You can't just do normal greed and oppression and slavery and outright theft and then blame your victims for it, every empire does that, even the ones that pretend they aren't by calling the slavery and theft by some different name. If you wanna be an Evil Emperor then you have to get creative.
If I were an evil empress then I would execute people via an esoteric mind blast power where I'd lead them into a room and burn away their personalities and memories until they were an empty vessel and then send them home to their families, newly innocent and pardoned, where they'd have to be taught who they were and how to live from the ground up like a baby. (Or abandoned, I suppose, depending on the family.) Except I wouldn't actually have any such powers. I'd have a shapeshifting power that I'd use to turn my enemies into a piece of furniture and turn that piece of furniture into them, then send home a polymorphed candlestick or whatever for their family to dote on while my enemy goes on the table to hold candles for the rest of their 'life'.
Derin, respectfully, what the actual fuck.
People are always saying this to me
People in the notes seem to disagree on which option here is super kinky and which option is totally normal and unsexy
I want to live down the street from Derin.
Good luck, our town is experiencing a housing crisis.
YOU GUYS.
I think my favorite kind of miscommunication to do in fanfic is when a character has only limited understanding of a situation (especially if that's because the other character is concealing something from them) and they use their limited knowledge to come to a conclusion that is 100% reasonable based on what they know, but completely off base from the truth
And, of course, this causes Problems

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how eerie to hear they're going to remake carrie. how eerie to hear they have made the mother into some kind of gentle well-meaning figure.
carrie is almost explicitly about the cycles of abuse. it is almost explicitly about how women and girls are taught to reproduce the patriarchy. it cannot be isolated from either message.
it shows cruel teenagers not as a random whacky plot point but instead to highlight that we are taught to mock other girls for not being fuckable; lest we ourselves be considered not-fuckable. we will eat our own kind to survive. nobody helps her because to help carrie would be to turn against the patriarchy.
carrie's mother has experienced abuse at the hands of her husband and religion not as a "sad backstory" but instead because it lampshades her behavior when she then turns and abuses her daughter while citing that same religion. we are forced to ask the question: what is the difference between the patriarchy and religion? aren't they both systems of control? we often see mothers as being the "ultimate" in innocence and kindness - but this book challenges that narrative. abusive mothers exist, and and always have. abusive women exist and always have. white women, after all, love voting for donald trump.
men are almost absent from the book, but their presence lingers. it feels almost like the red mark made after a slap - the men do not have to be there; the women will continue to abide by the rules without question. it is a devastating, haunting condemnation of the notion of feminine fragility. it accurately asserts that women are cruel, are capable, are power-hungry - and often are hiding behind perceived innocence to mask that cruelty. the abuse carrie experiences rests in a doubled betrayal: it is because of another woman. the supposed "sisterhood" is revealed to be thin, a guise of equanimity that is only offered to the "right" type of girl/woman.
many of us were not the right type of girl.
to go back on these main and obvious themes of the book - to rewrite the mother as some caring and sad creature is... a curious choice. i can't explain it, but it feels almost like censorship to me. it refuses a deeper meaning of the book (and one that questions the patriarchy) in favor of the incredibly thin plot of "what if scary girl had scary powers." i literally don't even know what level of misogyny it is that we have to defang everyone around her in order to tell her story. i'm baffled by it.
in the era of trad wives endlessly posting abusive content of their children online - the adaptation had plenty of meat to modernize her mother. in the era of AI and revenge porn and social media - there's a huge amount of space for a competent writer to play around in. after all, if the abuse is recorded and posted to media - and as the audience we're watching it without interfering - the story is now about us. it asks us who we are comfortable bullying.
it's okay if you feel like you don't have the writing chops to talk about how many religions are abusive and tacitly enable domestic violence. it's okay if you feel like you couldn't write a believable teenage bully. it's okay if you're just interested in "scary girl has scary powers."
but maybe, i don't know, choose a different fucking story?
❤️💙💛GRACEFUL💛💙❤️
⭐[my social media links]
she's the best of us
what did we do to deserve portal 2. that shit was so good and for what
we got to have this! we got to have a valve game set in the half life universe, and its an enemies-to-lovers-to-enemies-again sci fi comedy story about a homicidal ai created to run tests forever and the test subject she catches feelings for!! how is this game real!!!
happy birthday to the only video game ever
people still clown in the notes of this post so reminder that glados was gonna take you on a date and accuse you of cheating. shes not chells mom
when u touch an unaware cat and they make that small surprised sound reblog if u agree

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peem poom
A professor gave us an extra credit option: take a picture of yourself outside, doing something that you would not usually do. We were told not to take it too seriously. Here is my entry:
I maintain that sticking my head in the mailbox is not something I do on a regular basis.
Love that some of you are reblogging this. You looked at a picture of a guy with his head in a mailbox and went "yeah"
Can't wait to see if everyone did something like this or if they had a normal reaction. I will keep you posted.
[ID: a photo of a pale person wearing a black t-shirt and jeans with his head in a mailbox /END ID]
Hello to everyone asking for an update!
The professor has said that he will put all submitted pictures into a powerpoint to be shown in class tomorrow (Tuesday, March 9th). I am very much looking forward to seeing the reaction from him and from the rest of the class. I promise to keep you informed.
Update: the professor saved my picture for last. I was told that I had "truly embodied the spirit of the assignment" and that I had gone "above and beyond."
Also, to everyone who is worrying about whether or not I got my head out, I was gifted with a very small head, and while I got out just fine I would NOT recommend this if you have a large head or even a normal sized head.
Hey you guys should make this into a meme.
Hows this?
Perfect
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I love it here.
this is like basic foundational misogyny 101 but the fact that it's almost unconsciously ingrained to consider trousers a more "practical" alternative to skirts across the majority of human cultures does make me feel a little kicked in the head. this isn't even anything against pants, or denying that sometimes they are the best suited garment for purpose, it's just that skirts are nearly always unfairly compared as the a frivolous option, even though they're functionally not dissimilar at all. they're comfortable, capable of being tailored to suit a variety of purposes both aesthetic and functional, and simply what some people prefer. and yet, because they're so strongly tied to women and femininity, they're derided. a long skirt is an impediment; shortening a skirt is a sexual act. throughout history humans of all demographics have worn skirts and skirt-like clothing for a variety of purposes, but to wear a skirt in our enlightened modern age is a heavily gendered and politically loaded notion. and we just tolerate living like this. fucking unreal.
🚬 yeah.
just found out that accidentally in love by counting crows was literally made for shrek. they didnt just choose it. it didnt exist before. they asked counting crows to make a song for shrek 2 and thats how we got one of the best songs ever made. insane.
counting crows knew shrek 2 would become one of the best movies ever made and had to act accordingly
I think it would be funny to write a murder mystery where not only did every single character involved have an obvious motive to kill this mf, they were actually all attempting to murder him first, but the murder attempts all cancelled each other out all except for one. Two people tried to poison him but the poisons just happen to work as antidotes for each other, and instead of killing him only gave him the shits, and due to having the shits he couldn't go hunting that day like he had planned, foiling the plans of the one who had conditioned his favourite hunting horse to panic and bolt at the cue of a whistle, and the other murder attempt of tampering with his gun so that it would have exploded his whole face off.
The whole mystery isn't about who could have done it or how, but who was the one who got lucky and actually succeeded.
Sherlock Holmes and The Case of Perhaps We'd Best Leave This One Alone, Watson. There Appears To Be An Excess Of Armed Maniacs In The Vicinity.
When I was in high school a friend of mine would host murder mystery dinners once or twice a year. They were the kind you could buy as a kit -- I don't even know if they exist anymore -- and everyone was assigned (or chose) a character, then received a booklet of clues to share. The idea was to spend an evening in a one-shot LARP designed like an Agatha Christie novel.
I was a year above most of them at school so they threw a "goodbye" murder mystery for me just before graduation, and about 2/3 of the way through the game we all realized that everyone had at least attempted to kill the victim. The game then shifted from "whodunnit" to "who succeeded in dunninit" which we all felt was not only super fun but above the usual level of narrative complexity for those games.
After we solved it, we discovered that the game wasn't from a kit -- the host had written it herself and meticulously printed out the booklets in replica style of the kits. It was the best going-away party I think I could possibly have had.

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New chapter, new chapter, new chapter!
Fork in the Road chapter 2 is out!
Hollanov. In chapter 1 Shane makes friends with Skip, describes how the Metros treat him, and after their horrified reactions he decides to move teams a little bit earlier.
Chapter 2 gets us a convo with Ilya and a slice of Skip reacting to Shane's situation... plus the Hollanov of it all. n.n
“it isnt something you have to read critically” well 😭
this technically is true but I think this also perfectly encapsulates why I am inherently distrustful of like. “”cozy”” “turn your brain off” fiction lmfao. like okay WHO gets to turn their brain off and who has to suffer through bigoted caricatures of themselves while everyone else is having cozy silly no brain time 😐