AKA NargacugaBalls

yo mama so dandylion she blew away into a million bits and gone forever

this may be my age showing but I am a passionate supporter of wires. earbuds? put a leash on those things. wireless keyboard? no, it needs to hold hands with the computer. the ps5 controller I forgot to charge has the staying power of a wealthy nonagenarian with a much younger wife and 14 life insurance policies, but the controller plugged into my pc? that baby will outlive my bloodline. my ethernet cable is like a son to me.

the princess has the mandate of dragon

fake people pleasers when marlon brando arrives

im so hungry i could eat a dinner

i invented a new type of berry with poison in it

If you ever find yourself in a horror scenario, remember to blush really hard when the ghost/demon/monster appears. If you do that fast enough you might be able to shift the genre.

This applies doubly if the antagonist is more abstract. If a house starts growing teeth and flesh you've gotta be prepared to get a little freaky

Not beating the gnome allegations today ... had to walk into the pharmacy carrying a fistful of strawberries I had just picked. Person who checked me out gave me a bemused look.

Im going to start comms soon. For realsies

Looking at the sheer amount of world leaders who are currently in their goddamn 70s, I resent the possibility that one day when I'm in my 60s these fuckers will still be holding on, 100 years old and living on 1 hp, but refusing to die because they ontologically refuse to do anything that might benefit other people.