gay people and hockey (mostly at the same time)

did shane hate the baby leash? absolutely, the straps of the backpack were a Bad Texture, plus he just wanted to see what was happening two aisles over in the grocery store, or get away from the Very Loud And Scary Noise at the dentist, or go look at the water from the dock at the lake.

any time the baby leash came out he would get his angry kitty >:3 face, and yuna has a small collection of photos of little baby shane in his baby leash making the cutest little angry face.

They have a kid. The kid is doing all of the hockey camps and all of the kids’ leagues as soon as they can stand on the ice. They’re raised from a baby to be an NHL/PWHL star, since it’s literally in their blood.

One day, the Hollanovling sits their parents down in a very Shane Hollander “we need to talk” manner.

“I don’t want to do hockey,” they tell their dads.

And for a moment, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are speechless. What do you mean their child, the child of two of the best (if not the best) NHL players ever, doesn’t want to play hockey? Do they not like it? Do they feel pressured?

The Hollanovling senses they aren’t getting a response, so they slide a thick, black spiral-bound book across the table.

In it are gorgeous pieces of art. There are collages and paintings and sketches and various mixed-media pieces and maybe even a few lines of poetry.

Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov raise an artist.

But when the rookies, freshly of age, most in another country, and with MHL money, ask him to take them car shopping, he’s there. He’s not letting some dealership rip off his rookies or put them in a dangerous shiny sports car.

Ilya, crucially, doesn’t know this happens. He claims the rookies all got ‘Shane’s borning genes’ because of their practical cars with excellent safety ratings.

He ignores Shane who disowns their children (tells Ilya they are not biologically related to the rookies).

When someone finally slips up and Ilya finds out he is simultaneously 1. appalled that the rookies would not come to Ilya “car enthusiast” Rozanov 2. endeared that Shane takes such good care of their team 3. hard, imagining Shane negotiating with the car salesman, pushing up his glasses while reading over the paper work, test driving the cars…

His therapist locks in and is like. Oh! Wow! So when is the last time you bounced on it?

And Ilya is like Well, never actually. We've never tried it.

And his poor long suffering therapist has to, in the course of her big serious grown up adult job, look this famous athlete dead in the eyes and say Well I'm prescribing you to bounce on it crazy styles. Medicinally.

"but you know me, i'm lazy, so." "i don't know that side of you at all."

"is that what we are going to do? relax?" "i hope so. i would like to relax with you. for once."

"because you like to be bad." "hey, that's not what this is. you and me. maybe it was at first but, not now, and not for a long time."

to the point where it even usurps other peoples interpretations of ilya before he gets the chance to internalize them -

"but, you hate him." "no. i mean, i get that. but no. i love him."

various dentists

hotel housekeeping staff

the kid who works late shifts at the drugstore where Ilya buys condoms (often) and lube (less often)

cleaners and laundry service employees

a kid on vacation with his parents in Vegas bored out of his mind because he's 14 and not allowed in the bars or casinos at their hotel and he's really hitting the grumpy teenager phase so he's pissed at his parents because he wanted to go birdwatching in the desert and instead he's on the hotel roof at night pointing his sick-ass binoculars (which he bought himself with money he earned by mowing their neighbours' lawns for a year) at the surrounding buildings and oh look there's two people making out on that rooftop terrace—wait, isn't that the guy from the Rolex ads?

Janice at the grocery store closest to the Hollander cottages who knows damn well that "David's boy" doesn't eat Nutella

the Voyageurs' nutritionist knows Hollander is fucking someone working for the Bears because he might not log it as sex but even Hollander doesn't actually do extra cardio after a game

employee at an airport phone repair kiosk in Chicago who was checking Ilya’s battery specs when "Jane" texted him "If I win you suck my dick first"

one of the parents at Game Changers Hockey Camp who is a couple's counsellor and a bit too good at her job

Gerry (78) three doors down from the Hollanders who has lived in his house since he was born and has made it his solemn duty to know everything that goes on in his neighbourhood

the owner of the bespoke jeweller's shop once Shane Hollander purchases the second ring, which is identical to the first, and a plain gold chain