maybe im not getting better? @ilyasgoodboy - Tumblr Blog

thinking about ilya touching shane's hole for the first time and that murmur of "you ever touch yourself here?"

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sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog

imagine wanting to participate in The Discourse.

sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog

Like, this is both obvious and revelatory: The people who create and participate in The Discourse are people who look at twitter/threads/whatever and say, "This Discourse seems healthy and productive. I shall participate."

So the only people we end up hearing from on twitter are people who want to post to twitter. which is to say they are definitionally weird.

icefrozenground

i try not to be too parasocial about celebrities bc we’ll never actually know them, we just get glimpses of their media personas, but also i am someone who is emotionally attached to the wild deer that frequent the backyard so i fear it might be a lost cause

like sometimes you’re joyful bc of creatures you only know from afar!! sometimes you get concerned for them when you see them in unfortunate situations!! or proud when you see them accomplish something!! it happens!

everyone-has-their-story

Dear ppl of Toronto: Don’t be weird. Keep it together. For the greater good of mankind please don’t fuck this up. Thank you.

teashoesandhair

'A popular fanfic author stopped updating her fic because she said that the stress of being constantly falsely accused of using AI was a witch hunt and it was destroying her mental health to the extent that she needed to take a break from writing, leading to multiple online discussions defending her and debates about AI accusations and how You Can't Really Tell So Leave Her Alone, and then someone realised that there were Claude coding artefacts in her fics and that it was a super pervasive problem in that particular fandom, proven definitively by looking at the source coding of each work on AO3, and she denied it for a bit but then ultimately admitted that oopsie, she had been using genAI all along, and then she deleted all of her fics off AO3 and people got mad because they were being denied access to their favourite fics, even though they now knew definitively that they were genAI slop, and then it turned out that she'd actually stopped updating the fic on AO3 in the first place because she'd been shopping it around to agents and editors as an original work with the serial numbers filed off, and she'd been in conversations with a publisher which ultimately got dropped because she'd lied to them about her AI use' oh cool, so we're in Hell, then

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russianblush

#the shadow acting as bars of a prison cell forcing ilya to hide himself in russia vs the overflowing of light at shane's cottage that allows him a place to be free and completely himself

default-cube

who up wasting their only shot at life through complete and utter inaction

athyrium-filix

guys can you believe that they're making more heated rivalry. can you believe that connor and hudson are together as we speak. can you FUCKING BELIEVE IT

bitchass97

Okay yes we laugh and joke about Ilya never winning an argument in that marriage, but we have proof IN THE SHOW that Shane will not stay mad at him for ANYTHING.

Shane got ghosted for 6 months and after yelling at him for 20 seconds folded under NO PRESSURE and was giggling and cheesing when Ilya came near him. STAND UP

enh1614149

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connorstorriegifs

Connor Storrie | Quinn Behind the Scenes | 2025

magneatio

rpf stand for real people fucked

magneatio

WAIT! itstands for Real Precious Friends

dontworryfolkswetookallherteeth

Love how in Gamechangers Scott is all "I need to build a life outside of hockey. This isn't healthy. Kip has an arts degree and a job and a social life"

Then you read Common Goal and find out that when Kip has a shift Scott just sits in the corner and watches him. Sometimes he invites friends to Kip-watch with him.

ilyapasta

I wrote a sad/sappy meta related to this a long time ago that I can’t find, but I just think Ilya is rummaging through Shane’s shit as soon as he has a run of the house(s). He’s snooping around the cottage and finding things Shane didn’t even remember he had. A figurine of a loon in a cottage guest room that Ilya covets and a bottle of wine from the collection in the basement that Shane rarely touches. It has a good year, Shane. What do you know about it, Ilya.

Back in Montreal he’s opening document folios in Shane’s apartment and looking at tax documents just to look at Shane’s name. He’s looking at the cologne and lotions and scant jewelry on his bureau, reading the labels, trying out the scents. He’s under Shane’s childhood bed at his parent’s house unearthing a dusty box. Yuna shows him Shane’s best school tests and projects. Construction paper crafts from primary school and an essay Shane did on Lord of the Flies that he was proud of enough to show his parents. Newspaper clippings from every age of Shane Hollander’s hockey journey— from local toddler sensation to the pride of Kingston to the draft to every single periodical and advertisement Shane has starred in, all carefully preserved by a family who loves him. He’s obsessed with Shane’s history, how it’s written all over the places he lives and works and has lived in before, but he’s also hungry for the details. The things about Shane that are unwritten but he can only see now that he’s inside Shane’s home and his heart. He hopes that he’ll discover things no other person has ever learned about Shane, so that he can possess something all his own. A secret, maybe. He tries the pickles in Shane’s fridge and spits them out in the sink. Shane has shit taste in pickles, and he tells him so. He’ll find a different secret, a better one.

And if you want to get sad about this you can remember that the only rummaging Shane can do into Ilya’s past is by asking Ilya about it. Ilya, who isn’t forthcoming and is fine, he’s fine fine fine. Ilya, who made a bland and restless life in Boston that he leaves without complaint or hesitation. How much can there be to learn about him, if he changes with the wind? He tells Shane about his mother and her sad end, but he also wants to shed his past to make room within himself. He wants Shane’s love to fill him and shove out the rest— the old, the sad, the burdensome. He wants to be a vessel for it. He wants to be new.

#this reminds me i have a wip of Ilya rummaging the cottage i need to get back to bc it’s SO true #he wants to see every box and know every inch of story of Shane’s life he can manage #one of my favorite bits of HR book was Ilya craving seeing Shane’s real bedroom and real house that energy of his makes me feral

buqbite

sometimes i feel ive got to

buqbite

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buqbite

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buqbite

run away

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cuppydogshane

what if shane was cuddled nicely

aroace-ryland-grace

I NEED TO WRITE FANFICTION <- guy who is perfectly capable of writing fanfiction <- guy who is not writing fanfiction

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maybe im not getting better?