which is complicated by the fact that ilya takes one look at rose and shane at the bar (rose's arm looped through shane's in what ilya doesn't know is just a friends move) and BOOKS IT so he doesn't have to see this

and then proceeds to avoid them at EVERY fucking turn

this all terminates into rose going "fuck it I'm a true bro and I'm making this happen so help me GOD" and managing to arrange locking them in a closet together (which is. so funny. but this is not the time to point out the punchline.) (she'll save it.) so ilya can't run away.

and it's very sweet and they have their moment of honesty and yay back to ilya's room now fo-

the-the door is locked.

because it turns out that rose got a LITTLE too enthusiastic in locking it after her plan worked PERFECTLY and now something in the mechanism is broken.

because also ilya would NOT know how to fucking react

"she's not my girlfriend!" "i'm not his girlfriend!"

like, his older brother is both absentee and abusive, so I imagine his entire view of sibling relationships is incredibly tarred, and this woman is also his Greatest Enemy In Life.

so he’s getting youngerbrotherbodyslammed by this women who (like all older sisters, can just clock a younger sibling idk what to tell you) is supposed to hate him, but is treating him like a twit child???????

ahem.

@martelldoran NOT SHANE AND HIS DESIGNATED REPRESENTATIVE

"listen, shane wants--stop whining, you baby, you're fine--shane wants to talk to you"

"AND I WANT A CRAZY PERSON TO NOT BE ON TOP OF ME RIGHT NOW. WE DON'T ALWAYS GET WHAT WE WANT."

"🙄 it's your own fault. you kept running."

"oh, so shane hasn't told you how much HE likes to run??"

"he made a mistake, okay? and he's sorry."

shane from a safe distance because tbh? kind of thrown by what just happened: "i am!"

"I WAS KIND OF FUCKING BUSY BEING TACKLED BY A CRAZY PERSON, SVETA"

I thought I might share one of my new tattoos. A couple years ago, a dear friend and I coined the term “fish bag moment”

A fish bag moment might be sitting all alone in an empty new apartment after coming out and upending your life, or starting a new job in a brand new line of work because it’s closer to your dreams

It’s what happens when you take a leap of faith or make a hard decision for yourself, when the future is so hard to visualize and everything feels scary. You’re just a fish in a bag and you can’t see where you’re going

I feel like a kid being introduced to their mom’s boyfriend for the first time.

Me when I have tea to spill:

Me when a new fic hits:

Me defending my favs: