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Survey Says: Who would you trust for a haircut?

(january 1 2026)

The best "Survey Says" questions are always the ones where I ask players to consider their teammates for various scenarios.

This one was a fun one -- I asked players to imagine a hypothetical scenario where they need a haircut, and for some reason the only people around are their teammates. Who are you trusting with the scissors?

Here's how players (and some now-former Penguins, naturally) decided.

Noel Acciari: “I was thinking about picking a younger guy, because they'd be too afraid to mess it up. I feel like Arty could do it. I trust Arty.”

Harrison Brunicke: “My actual pick would be Dumba.”

Ryan Graves: “Oh, Jesus. Not one of them. Absolutely not. Maybe Kris Letang. Maybe.”

Brett Kulak: “Maybe Brazeau, he can just shave my head. He buzzes his well, I’d just ask for a buzz cut. He knows how to do it.”

Kevin Hayes: “Tanger. He has good hair, he’s into nice things. He has good style.”

Arturs Silovs: “I don’t know who is creative enough for it, maybe Karl. He’s got good hair.”

Connor Clifton: “Dumba. He could fix this mess. He keeps it together up there.”

Joona Koppanen: “Tanger always has nice flow, he’s a safe bet.”

Sidney Crosby: “There's a couple guys, I think, who do their own hair right now. So I might have to go with them. I think Brazeau does. I’d go Braz, because obviously he’s got a little experience.”

Tommy Novak: “Nobody. Nobody. Maybe Letang.”

Parker Wotherspoon: “Let’s see, do I want to go conservative or crazy? I think Brazeau cuts his own hair, but he has a buzz cut. Rust would be pretty safe, you know? You’ve got to pick a guy that wouldn’t put a hole in your head. Like, he’d care. I think Rusty.”

Bryan Rust: “Rickard Rakell, if he has two good hands.”

Ryan Shea: “I would say Heinen or Dumba. I feel like Heino, because he would try his hardest to do his best. Some of the guys in here, if you ask them for a haircut, they would probably mess you up on purpose.”

Connor Dewar: “I think Tommy Novak would be really careful with scissors.”

Jack St. Ivany: “Tanger, probably. He’s got good hair and he’s got good taste. He could do it.”

Rickard Rakell: “I would trust Karl, I think.”

Ville Koivunen: “(Tomasino), and I have no idea why.”

Phil Tomasino: “I’d say Letang, he has nice hair.”

Rutger McGroarty: “Let’s see … who has sick hands? I would say Hayesy, Kindy, and Koivy. Oh, and Karl.”

Sam Poulin: “Oh, boy, probably no one. I'm pretty picky with what I want for my hair, so I would have to go to a real barber shop for that.”

Tristan Jarry: “Probably Brazeau. He’s got a consistent haircut all the time.”

Justin Brazeau: “I would say all of them with my haircut. I don’t think it would be too hard. I’d trust Lizzo, I don’t think he’d do anything too stupid.”

Blake Lizotte: “I’d say Dewar. We play together a lot, I trust him. He’s got pretty solid hair, too.”

Danton Heinen: “Probably Gravy. He’s got some longer hair, kind of like mine. He would care. He wouldn’t want to screw it up, he’s pretty trustworthy.”

Ben Kindel: “I’d say Tanger or Karl, just because they have some good hair themselves.”

Sergei Murashov: “Probably someone from the equipment guys, like Tags. TAGS! Could you make a haircut for me? (Taglianetti: 'I could do better than what you’ve got.') Yeah, I think so.”

Anthony Mantha: “Oh, I don’t care. Any of them. They could shave me, it doesn’t really matter for me.”

Matt Dumba: “I’d let none of these guys touch my hair. I’d give myself a haircut before I let any of these guys touch it.”

Kris Letang: “Oh … Gravy. He seems like he’s the one that would not play games.”

Erik Karlsson: “Probably Kindel. Because if he f—ked it up, I would kill him.”

Survey Says: Favorite childhood TV show?

(may 16 2026)

This penultimate edition of Survey Says from this season comes from a suggestion by subscriber Ron Vassel, who wanted to know about the Penguins players' favorite TV shows from their childhood.

Here's how they answered.

Arturs Silovs: “It’s a long time ago, but the classic was 'Tom and Jerry,' that’s a big one. They don’t speak, so the language didn’t matter. Then came in 'Adventure Time.'”

Tommy Novak: ”'SpongeBob.'”

Sidney Crosby: “How old are we talking? Like if I were to remember when I started watching TV, I would say 'Inspector Gadget.'”

Stuart Skinner: “'Suite Life of Zack and Cody.'”

Kris Letang: “I didn’t really have one, I just watched the sports news.”

Noel Acciari: “I used to watch 'Rocket Power,' 'Recess.' That's a tough one, because you get 'Rugrats,' too. Probably all of those.”

Harrison Brunicke: “When I was really young I liked 'Ben 10.' (Matt Dumba: What?) 'Ben 10.' You ever see it? (Dumba: No?) It’s so good. Or 'SpongeBob.'”

Matt Dumba: “I have to go with 'Recess.' (turns to Brunicke) You don’t know about that sh—? (Brunicke: No, I don’t know 'Recess'). Oh, jeez.”

Rutger McGroarty: “'The Flash.'”

Brett Kulak: “I’ll say 'Recess.'”

Sam Poulin: “'The Simpsons' or 'Johnny Test.'”

Jack St. Ivany: “'Friends,' at an appropriate age. When I was really young, 'Drake and Josh' or 'iCarly.'”

Bryan Rust: “Probably 'Rocket Power.' 'Recess' was up there, but 'Rocket Power.'”

Joona Koppanen: “I’d say 'DuckTales.'”

Erik Karlsson: “'Two and a Half Men.' As an older kid!”

Rickard Rakell: “I think as I got older, I watched a lot of 'Two and a Half Men' because it was on the TV when I came home from school. We didn’t have that many channels.”

Blake Lizotte: “'SpongeBob.' I got into 'Rocket Power' for awhile. That was a good one.”

Sergei Murashov: “Just cartoons, I didn’t watch too much TV but I especially like Russian cartoons. (Me: Like 'Booba?') Yeah! (Derek Army) called me 'Booba' last year because his kids love 'Booba.' But it’s not the best, there’s much better in Russia.”

Anthony Mantha: “'Toy Story.' It’s a movie, OK, but it still counts because you watch them on the TV.”

Ryan Graves: “I loved 'Recess.'”

Justin Brazeau: “'Suits.' (Me: As a kid?) I wasn’t a huge TV kid until I started getting into junior when 'Suits' came out.”

Connor Clifton: “'SpongeBob' and 'Rugrats,' those are the two I remember.”

Parker Wotherspoon: “As a kid, there's a ton, honestly. 'Wizards of Waverly Place.' 'Zoey 101' was up there. 'Hannah Montana' was huge. 'Boy Meets World' was big. Oh yeah, and 'Suite Life on Deck.'”

Ryan Shea: “When I was young young, I was a big MTV guy. Even going back, it was 'Cribs,' all that.”

Connor Dewar: “I’m drawing a blank, I can’t even remember.”

Tristan Jarry: “Probably the Discovery Channel.”

Kevin Hayes: “'One Tree Hill.'”

Ben Kindel: “'Seinfeld.' But as a child? I don’t even know.”