a real human person

first guy to sell hotcakes was probably like hooooly fuck

Returning to bedside nursing practice means never again getting a foreboding “hi” or “can you hop on a call real quick” on Teams

You may be thinking “but Lauren would you really rather be puked on and verbally abused than use Microsoft Teams?” and the answer is yes

disliking men, otherwise known as "basic survival instinct,"

Everyone say thank you sanitation workers we owe you our lives sanitation workers

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

homeschooling my children to protect them from learning the evils of society (chatGPT)

“Terf is a slur used to silence us” dang bitch I wish it worked shut the fuck up