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@pretendingtobeawake
Are yâall okay? What is happening
what's happening with the reblog map???
itâs an amazing digital circle

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This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but itâs also kind of an amazing two-line poem? âHis Wife has filled his house with chintzâ is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and âchintzâ is a perfect word choice hereâsonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then âto keep it real I fuck him on the floorâ collapses that whole mood with short percussive soundsâbut itâs still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8
I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct
I went back to dig up this post because I was thinking about poetry.
This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.
As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: âfuck him on the floor.â The use of âchintzâ is indeed great word choice.
Because Iâm insane, decided to scan the poem:
Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.
There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of âkeep it realâ juxtaposed with âchintz.â It causes me to interpret the âchintzâ more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of âfuck,â which is a contrast with âchintzâ but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where âchintzâ is flimsy and inanimate.
And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is âfilled with chintzââsomething that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with âkeep it real.â
The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wifeâs marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something âreal.â Thatâs a story, and itâs just two lines.
This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, yâall. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.
From a technical standpoint (and ive taken 300- and 400-level poetry classes so I can say this) this is damn near flawless as a poem.
Kept thinking about this ever since I saw it and had to do something
there's art now
Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.
Iâd also like to point out the use of the word âhas.â The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isnât filling the house with chintz. She doesnât fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.
This is my new favourite post in the world
everyone cheer for the one (1) time tumblr had reading comprehension
hate when I type :) and this đ fucker appears. Go away you evil soul
âthereâs an ai tool for thatâ okay ?? thereâs probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck
hey did ya'll know that ed sheeran is working on a series of 6 albums named after media player buttons and the first one released last year and the last one is to be released posthumously on the day that he dies
That doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about Ed Sheeran to prove otherwise
âŚhuh
huh. good for him.
Batman animation yayy đđ

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Getting ready
friend asked me today âcan you get cancelled on tumblrâ and i realized that they really have never been on here
people just aren't stealing bones from graveyards or admiting to having child slaves in the family like they used to :/
Write it badly or it'll never be written
Write it badly or it'll never be written
Write it badly or it'll never be written
Write it badly or it'll never be written
Write it badly or it'll never be written
Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again
oh ok
you have to remember it's always always worse on twitter

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god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies
In first study of its kind, Cambridge researchers found AI toys could misread some children's emotions.
look at this wonderful gif of scallops getting scared and scattering like a flock pigeons
whatever. go my scallops
last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops
[Image ID: Bumper sticker on a Honda CR-V reading: I wish this car was a high-speed trans-continental rail system /End ID]
***Because they donât have TIME to read
***Because they donât know HOW to read
***Because theyâre not ALLOWED to read
***Because they werenât TAUGHT to read
***Because the generation BEFORE THEM were never taught HOW TO READ or how to TEACH READING
***Because we DONâT VALUE INTELLECTUAL PURSUITS
***Because our society prioritizes PRODUCTIVITY over QUALITY OF LIFE
Sick of the âyall are stupid because youâre lazyâ narrative. Obviously people with no time no family no money no books no education no perspective no respect no options no support no mentors arenât perpetually disseminating themes of Othello on the fly.
People arenât stupid, reading isnât the peak proof of intelligence, and society isnât on a decline because poor people are poor.
Youâre confusing a symptom for a cause
You have to treat the symptom, CURE the disease, and love the patient more than you love feeling right

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Do not attempt to out-malicious-compliance the staff at the malicious compliance conference.
Some dipshit decided to pay the conference fee ($250) in quarters. He handed us a wrapped plastic bag full of loose change. "It's all there," he said with a shit-eating grin, "you can count it."
Oh buddy. We're going to count it. What were you expecting?
At about the time I got to $60, he offered to give us $300 collateral so he could get his badge and go to the conference.
No, bud. You get to watch the most dyscalculic staffer count to a thousand while all your friends go in to the breakfast and find seats for the first talk.
"Ruining someone's day" is the favorite hobby of everyone here. Why would you hand us the perfect opportunity to wreck your shit and think that was an own? Half the con is calling him "Untraceable," the other half is calling him "Quarter Boy" and nobody cares what he says his handle is.
I spent an hour counting that and made him go fetch me baggies to hold it every fifty dollars.
This ended up being a good bonus prank for me too, because when the counting was done I wrapped the bags in gaffer's tape and spent the rest of the day handing it to people very casually while saying "oh here, hold this for a sec" and then watching they weren't ready for the weight (I only did this to people I know well enough to know this wouldn't hurt them).
It's an infosec conference, so it's a weekend in a hotel full of people whose favorite thing is breaking the law and whose second favorite thing is following the letter of the law while cheerfully violating the spirit.
Thank you, that means a lot coming from you, @unyanizedcatboys