Social Consciousness In Your Pants

And it's that thing where you mentally place yourself as the second, auxiliary party to someone else that you consider to be "In Charge" of whatever space or occupation or responsibility you are assigned to

And when you are IN that mindset, it *feels* like you're being responsible. It *feels* like you're being respectful, and helpful, and contributing to the load.

But what you don't SEE- because it *feels* like deference- is that the other person who you're seeing as The Authority you report to- by being assigned that role, has also been assigned the invisible load of BEING YOUR MANAGER.

This is by FAR most commonly seen in husband-and-wife relationships, where the man says, "just tell me what I can do to HELP- you don't have to do it all by yourself, but it's like you won't even tell me when you NEED help. You just do everything and then get mad at me for not doing it first. I can help clean. I can help with the kids. I can help"

But I also see it- and am guilty myself of doing it- at work, at school, in public- that mental, "this is THEIR space, and i will be respectful and helpful to THEM"- without realizing that subservience in this manner isn't actually a good thing. That it actually shifts the burden of responsibility to the other person. That aspect was totally invisible to me.

I didn't understand that when I was told, "if you see something that needs to be done, just DO it", or, "take the initiative", what they ACTUALLY meant was, "I am not above you", or "you have equal say in what kind of environment you want to live or work in", or "I do not want full control over what happens here, I do not want to order you around, I do not want to be in charge, what I WANT is to co-command WITH you"

Being in The Assigned Authority position NOW, that is all so much clearer.

I am the senior member of my team at work, and now, every time I train a newbie, every time I finish catching them up to speed and giving them a list of everything that needs to be done, my next big hurdle seems to always be, "now take pride in the space when I'm not around". "Now don't assume I'll tell you when something is due or what orders to plan things in".

Now, having been on both sides of the struggle, I can appreciate the sticking points here

TO THE PERSON "IN CHARGE": The person deferring to you doesn't understand the invisible labor you're doing. They genuinely believe you know more, you WANT more, you see things they don't, and that they are being respectful and good by staying out of your way and waiting on your orders. THAT is the bit that's not clicking.

TO THE PERSON "WANTING TO HELP": "Help" implies that you are providing assistance to a problem that belongs to somebody else. Stop thinking like that. Understand that the problem belongs to BOTH of you equally, and consider what kind of shared space you BOTH want. What is your SHARED GOAL? Not THEIR goal, but a goal that belongs to you too. Own your space.

This is not a Commander-Lieutenant problem. This is a Partnership problem.

Bowls like this were once produced as magical amulets in parts of Mesopotamia (in what is now Iraq and Iran). As this article explains:

Thousands of similar incantation bowls, also known as magic bowls, were produced in the area of today’s Iraq between the fifth and eighth centuries. Clients used incantation bowls to protect and heal, to frighten off demons and evil spirits, and, in a few cases, to enlist demons to help secure love or money, or to harm adversaries. In addition to the magical texts, scribes sketched drawings of bound and chained demons – pictorial representations of the spells’ desired effect – on the bottom of about a quarter of the bowls.

Above: this incantation bowl was commissioned by someone named Gia Bar Imma nearly 1,700 years ago, and it features a Jewish Babylonian Aramaic inscription along with a drawing of two demons wrapped in chains

These bowls were created and used by people of many different faiths. They were typically inscribed with Aramaic text, which appeared in one of three different dialects: Jewish Babylonian Aramaic, Mandaic, or Syriac. Incantations that were written in Jewish Babylonian Aramaic are, of course, attributed to Jewish communities, but the ones in Mandaic are associated with Gnostic Mandaeans, and the ones in Syriac are typically associated with Christians, Manichaeans, or followers of the ancient Babylonian religion.

Above: this bowl is lined with an Aramaic inscription that invokes "the powers of Enoch, the seven planets, and the twelve signs of the zodiac" to protect the home of a man named Pabak bar Kufithai

There are a few incantation bowls that feature Arabic or Persian inscriptions instead, and those examples tend to have Islamic or Zoroastrian motifs. Some bowls are simply inscribed with gibberish:

The largest number of known incantation bowls are written not in Syriac, but in Jewish Aramaic by Jewish scribes (though not necessarily for Jewish clients). Mandaean bowls are the second most numerous, only then followed by bowls in Syriac. A handful of bowls in Arabic and Persian are also known, in addition to bowls – perhaps 10 per cent – that can only be called ancient forgeries. These latter are filled with scribbles that mimic cursive writing but are not, in fact, in any language at all; perhaps they were made by illiterate scribes preying on equally illiterate clients.

Above: this bowl features a Mandaic inscription

Incantation bowls provide valuable information about Jewish history, in particular:

The prevalence of Jewish Aramaic bowls are what makes these artefacts so important for Jewish history. They provide the sole piece of epigraphic evidence documenting Jewish language and religion at one of the most important times in Jewish history: the period of the composition of the Babylonian Talmud.

Above: researchers believe that the figure in the center of this bowl is a representation of the demon Lilith, whose likeness and/or name appears on many other incantation bowls

This article also notes:

Generally speaking, the incantations could do a number of things: healing fevers and diseases; guarding from sudden death, injustice, and treachery; and exorcising evil spirits. Similar metal talismans were made around the same time and filled largely the same role. Where they differ is that in many instances the bowls called upon deities or angels to ensnare demons. It is believed from drawings on incantation bowls depicting ensnared creatures that the reason that so many have been found upside-down is that they were intended to be traps for careless or curious demons.

Above: this bowl has a Jewish Babylonian Aramaic inscription that includes the phrase "this cat is bound," and it features a drawing of a demonic cat being restrained

More than 2,000 of these bowls are known to exist, but only a fraction of them have been thoroughly studied.

Above: an illustration from another bowl

Above: two incantation bowls with Jewish Babylonian Aramaic text and drawings that show demons being restrained

Sources & More Info:

Aeon: Magic Bowls of Antiquity

Penn Today: The Stories the Bowls Tell

Bowers Museum: To Catch a Demon: Mesopotamian Incantation Bowls

Jewish Quarterly Review: Magic Formulae and Women's History: Authorship, Agency, and Gender in the Aramaic Incantation Bowls

My Jewish Learning: Magic Bowls

The Librarians: Who Wrote these Ancient Jewish Incantation Bowls?

Penn Museum: Hebrew Bowl

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