whatevs

Where do I download the app to help this tortoise

skyrim is cool because an old man in falkreath can give you a quest to take his best friend’s ashes to a preist and you can either do that or eat his ashes right in front of him

there’s no way wolverine is circumcised 

he is and he did it himself

it grew back

he does it every morning

is that a fucking game boy cartridge case?

this is a legit lifehack because keeping a condom in your wallet is bad news. the friction from it being in your pocket or jostled around wears down the latex and can cause it to tear. if you keep one on you in a gameboy cart case that won’t be an issue because no one will have sex with you

[to the tune of uptown girl] im that bitch…catch me dying in a roadside ditch

When you reblog from me, you are DIRECTLY harming a US veteran.

spacex have just "landed" on the moon (hit it at over 9000km/h)

Gets abducted by aliens and put in a zoo and slowly figures out how their language works and starts writing swear words on the glass when the alien children walk by

tumblr staff came into my house and moved all my furniture five inches to the left

top 5 plastic chairs i'd love to die in