whatevs

Stevejob from a guy with glasses and a turtleneck

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

i let my cat sniff dr pepper and she identified all 23 mysterious flavors with ease

Can somebody please @ emily blunt on twitter and show her this

It would appear that she has not been active since 2013. if somebody could get me her home address, that would be very helpful

[Image description The background for Blues Clues with Benoit Blanc from Knives Out]

Now I’m naht puhticularly familiuh with how everything wurks around heeuh, but I- I do buhlieve we just gawht a lettuh… wonduh who it’s from…

I used to be monotheistic. Until the great worm that I worship got cut in half

My doctor insists i cant eat clown food and that its bad for me

What even is clown food?

The food that they feed clowns to keep them docile and colorful

Every video I see of Erika Kirk is more annoying than the last. I can’t imagine going home to that every day, you do start to understand why Charlie shot himself

every post on iwaspoisoned.com starts with a guy being like yeah this smelled really bad and tasted really bad and looked wrong and i became violently ill after consuming it and you look at the attached photo and its a big jug with three X's and a skull on it

this is crazy i made this exact joke in a personal discord chat the other day. but this was posted 5 hours ago. what gives

do you want custody of the post

I just wanna hang out

Shoutout to the nun who had other nuns tie her up and pour hot wax on her as she confessed her sins

let's boil uncle in water to reduce his essence into a tincture

this is why commas are so unimportant

he still did 9/11 no one can take that from him ❤️