whatevs

not to get too controversial or anything but i think i should be allowed to set things on fire with my mind

this is what it looks like and feels like to eat beef stew

This inaccurate. Should be obsidian.

my personality issues can be directly traced to the fact that I couldn’t do the monkey bars as a child

probably speaks to something unwell in the collective tumblr psyche that those absurdly bleak bad luck brian memes are the only survivors of, like, an entire genre of different advice animal image macros.

oh boo hoo let me clap the world’s smallest ass cheeks

i'm still mad they killed E3. if they're gonna release a string of commercials the least they could do to get me to watch is to perform a self-humiliation ritual of their c-suite executives on stage try to seem cool. They don't even wear gamer T-shirt and blazer anymore.

Sometimes ur tits just gotta be out