whatevs

i'll just say what we were all thinking. the paris catacombs are lowkey performative as hell

Is there anything he haven't wear yet

a condom

*lays a concept egg inside your mind*

And it hatches into a beautiful chichen

People who are making posts telling us what is happening over on threads, twitter, and Instagram are like war correspondents sending us reports from the front.

Fortuneteller, turning over the Death card: Don't worry. It isn't literal. It simply refers to some form of change. Me: Phew Fortuneteller; turning over the Gets Eaten by the Fortuneteller While Trying to Leave card: That can also mean many things

Piracy is a “victimless crime”? Idk i was kinda hoping there would be a victim. I want the mouse dead

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

Today is World Snake Day, I guess. I learned this by being within earshot of a local morning show earlier today. One of the hosts asked, "Haven't you ever seen a photo of snake while scrolling online and thought 'oh that's a cute snake'?" And they all said that they can agree that snakes are cool but they've never thought a snake was cute. Unbelievable.

did you know that if you turn the word racecar around the other way you can spank it on its little ass