whatevs

friendly reminder that rick astley is actually a pretty horrible person lmao 

rick astley could be a fucking serial killer at this point and i wouldn’t have a goddamn clue because im physically and psychologically incapable of clicking any link that even slightly alludes to him at this point. rick astley just ran over 20 people you say? lmao not falling for that again don’t tell me to call 911 what do you take me for a fool

one day Rick Astley will die and none of us will click on the headline

apparently vic’s vapor rub goes exitinct ? i’ve been using the same vapor rub for years and apparenlty it went bad in the 2010s ..

expired .

it’s honestly so toxic to leave a desirable object under a box propped up by a stick

@smoldragonborn

anyone that takes the red path is not to be trusted

*pulls up to Sonic Drive-In* HEY *honks la cucuracha horn* YO DOES KNUCKLES WORK HERE

this is the best post on this entire godforsaken website and I want it on my dash as often as possible

Mods? Take him to the stump of his favorite childhood tree.

Mods, make him busy during a friends planned trip so he misses out on the new inside joke.

Mods… change the smell of his parents house.

look boss, our quarterly "subjection to the brutalities of the Absurd" budget is almost blown already. can we not just shoot this one twice in the back of the head and call it a day?

bro, go to Jimmy John's and ask for the Fetty Wop meal. The looks on their faces won't change and they'll give you a buffalo chicken wrap and buffalo chicken flavored chips with a drink of your choice.

just learned from my friend who works at Jimmy John's that the parentheses in the meal name caused a nationwide software glitch for 24 hours that made it so the order was free. Her store had to cancel hundreds of orders that day.

Fetty Wap infinite meal glitch at Jimmy John's

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

i eat your grandads clothes

Macklemoth

this book I’m reading on female evolution for some reason uses bill and hillary clinton as examples of the typical differences between male and female vocal structures and the author is like “imagine if bill clinton had a throat sac like an ape which caused his voice to resonate” don’t say that? I don’t want to imagine that?

billiam clinton saying his famous line “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” in a booming voice that can be heard up to two miles away and everyone starts hooting like monkeys and banging their fists on their chests

I do think it's kind of funny how john green wrote a book about tuberculosis that brought a lot of renewed attention to the subject and he's since become the darling of the tb world, speaks at tb conferences, my dad and every other tb researcher I know is absolutely smitten with him, and they'll be like "we love this guy! have you heard of him??" and I have to be like well yes, I have. for other reasons