Identity Stolen by a Fucking Rabbit

[Image ID: The Destiel confession meme edited so that Dean answers 'JK Rowling posted upskirt photos of a woman on Twitter' to Cas 'I love you'. /End ID]

No one doing this should be allowed to call themselves a feminist.

I think many marginalised people have had the experience of starting to say something, and then seeing everyone's heads turn away to listen to someone "more important". And even if you refuse to give way, and you manage to make the "more important" person back down, you'll notice that when you stop speaking no one will respond to you, but everyone will immediately turn back to that "more important" person as if to say "Sorry, you were saying?"

And, of course, the specific social dynamics of the group will affect these things, like friendship, enmity, sexual and romantic attraction, or if one person is specifically sucking-up to another for some purpose like securing a job offer. But if you pay attention to this over several groups over a long time, you will pick up on patterns that repeat and repeat and repeat.

For example, normally if a man and a woman start talking at the same time, the man will draw the group's attention. And on those occasions where he doesn't, it's generally because there is some other marginalisation involved: race, class, disability, immigration status, sexuality...

i'm sitting in the same spot in my kitchen where i had one of the worst breakdowns i've ever had, on the floor in front of the fridge.

except now there's a cat in my lap, licking my arm and purring like a motorboat because he wanted me to sit down on the floor with him. we're passing the time until my girlfriend gets home from work in a couple hours.

1. Does OP mention an obligation on victims to forgive abusers who have learned from their past actions?

2. Does OP mention any work on the part of victims to educate their abusers?

1 - "obviously depending on the severity and the story"

2 - "throwing my proverbial hat into the ring. it depends ENTIRELY on whether the abuser has committed irredeemable acts like murder and just general horrible shit. if the abuser hasn't done stuff like that then you redeem them. but if they have? to the trenches of Tartarus with them"