Im not the best with words but one of your post made me have a thought about the prevalant and transphobic idea trans people afab are transitioning due to internalized misogyny and the reality is quite a few of us will hyperfeminize ourselves (myself included at one point) due to misogyny (and transphobia)
Oh 100% — Broadly speaking it's a genuinely very common trans experience to push oneself into hyper-performing the gender presentation associated with one's AGAB when closeted or struggling with gender things.
I say broadly, because I've known many trans people across the spectrum of identity (myself included) who've done this at one point or another in their lives. I've known trans women who pushed themselves into hyper masculinity and given themselves eating disorders trying to build masculine muscle mass before coming out. I've known trans men who spent years wearing make up and shaving their bodies every single day, even on days where they wouldn't go out, before coming out. I've known nonbinary people who realized they were only keeping their facial hair routine because it made them feel like they had control over their appearance, despite it being a huge source of dysphoria for them, and other nonbinary people who would go full glam every time they set foot out of the house, only to later realize they were doing it because they felt so much pressure to be feminine in their environment that they were genuinely afraid of what would happen if they didn't.
I bring that up not to shift the focus, but highlight that we're not alone in that experience among other trans people.
You are absolutely right that there is a huge contradiction in the narratives about trans people assigned female transitioning due to internalized misogyny when we, in contrast, often actually hyperfeminize ourselves under misogynist pressure in order to avoid scrutiny, harassment, assault, etc.
While it's certainly not an uncommon experience by any means (it's one I share and just about every trans masc I know IRL shares too), it's not one I see talked about or written about very publicly. It's really disheartening because none of us are alone in it, but often times we think we are due to the lack of open conversations about the subject.
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