for the low low price of risking your entire life, you too can get bossed around by a girlrockwifething who is much smarter than you and will always remind you of that

collar with a tag that says NEEDS CLEAR STRAIGHTFORWARD COMMUNICATION OR STRUGGLES TO UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING ON

they are just aliens to each other guys and it’s so so so important that it doesn’t matter and they love anyway .

The other day my wife told me about this influencer who said she needed to go on ozempic so she could go from 130 lbs down to 115 and I really cannot stress the degree to which we have so COMPLETELY lost the plot with this glp1 shit. Like not only are people are going on this shit for purely cosmetic purposes, the cosmetic purposes are delusional. This is the kind of mindset that gives people eating disorders but now because you can get a prescription instead of having to starve yourself or enduce vomiting a big swath of the general public seems eager to go along with it. Body Positivity did not go fucking far enough because I am being so real when I say that fatphobia is more of a public health crisis than obesity has ever been

Trying to join a big Discord server when you're not really that familiar with Discord servers somehow manages to combine the social anxiety of trying to make new friends or ordering at a fancy new coffeeshop for the first time with the general chaos and technical barriers to entry of an MMO. I shuffle up to the counter and go "Um, hey, can I get---" only for someone named ☽ 𝓖𝓸𝓫𝓵𝓲𝓷 𝓕𝓾𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓻 ☾ [👑 Mod] [👺 Dark Wizard] [♣︎ BUNT] [🔮 Pengis Time 2022] • he/him to manifest in a cloud of bisexual coloured animated lightning, turning me instantly to dust and then announcing to the shop at large "Hey guys, please remember to read the #2026-updated-rules-terms-and-conditions and choose your role before you speak, also remember that ordering should go in #ordering-drinks, #ordering-cakes, or #ordering-a-cake-and-a-drink, unless you're 🔉just-using-the-bathroom. Thanks"

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

one of my favorite parts of the phm ending is that at the beginning of the book, grace makes a bitchy aside about vegans in san fransisco and at the end he is effectively vegan (meburgers are consensual auto-cannibalism and thus vegan by my standards) <3 god's sense of humor has no bounds, asshole.

#post-canon grace is a gnc body-modded vegan who is in a committed loving relationship. all that he fears has come true. via @szczyrkowa

really good trope is grace being like wow my revolting leaking human body disgusts rocky so badly he can't even stand to be in the same room as me meanwhile rocky's in the other room laying a medically concerning number of eggs

“word hashtag my word #myword” has done irreversible damage to my vocabulary

everyone let’s torture this blonde until he explodes

the conversation about the ICE contractor at the taylor swift and travis kelce wedding misses the point so hard because the actual conversation should be about class divides like the whole roster of riches was together at a wedding, it’s never left vs right—it’s the rich vs average people.