*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

my noble niche pairing, their barbarous and nonsensical crossover crackship

Halloween at hollanov house and ilya is like baby… be honest what candy did you buy. Shane voice ilya the Good kind. ilya voice Fuck………… [car keys jingling in the distance] shane like ilya did you- [checks location] okay so he left for the store