I Have Been Baptized in Null

to my beautiful son, i leave this picture of a sweet dragon i found on google images when i typed in cool dragons

at my local thrift warehouse where nothing’s priced and you make an offer on all the stuff you find. well i told the person at the register i’m on a budget and didn’t know if i could afford a rug i wanted and asked what they’d take for it and without missing even half a beat they said “how about a cup of blood?” then they started hopping up and down like a cheerleader and said “cup! of! blood!”

we settled on seventeen dollars cash.

the problem is i love to riff with people so it got deeply deeply weird for about 3 and a half minutes before we finally agreed on the price.

"it is what it is," he coped seethingly

my hashtag sturgeon spam. wait. sturgeon spamton. ew

what the

'opposites attract' is propaganda by big difference to sell mediocre het fic. ideally you should be dating someone who dresses the same as you and has the same name as you and has the same media taste as you and has the same birthday as you and is increasingly distressed by how similar the two of you are until you snap your fingers and it forgets what it was thinking about.

Did you hear a new love language just dropped? yeah its crazy. Its called just fuckin biting them.

reblogging this but shaking my head the whole time to show i don't believe in love languages

till deactivation do us part

im so sad this is from a deactivated blog i feel like i just found a heartfelt message in an old locket at a garage sale