Trans man. Gay. Dandy. Author of fantasy, romance, and erotica with a big focus on queer and disabled characters. He/him/his. This blog is 18+. www.JohannesTEvans.co.uk
Hello, I'm Johannes T. Evans, and I am a gay, disabled, trans man who writes a bunch!
There are hundreds of pieces available for free on my website as well as subscription-only content - here's a selection of free works for you to check out:
FREE ESSAYS:
How Much I, A Queer Self-Published Indie Author, Made In AĀ Year (2025)
Gregory House, Disabled Bastard, in House MD Season 1
I Am Bad Representation
Ringing The Devilās Doorbell: A Light-Hearted, Practical Guide to Vaginal & Vulvar Stimulation
Whatās In A Uniform?: Imperial Attitudes Reflected in Starfleetās Uniforms
FREE ROMANCE FICTION:
Dirk and the Weaver ā 12k, rated M, MB. A shopkeeper slowly comes to fall for a weaver when he comes to town. Slow romance and fantasy short between a shopkeeper in an isolated Scottish village, and a weaver that comes up from somewhere way down south.
Sweet On ā 7k, rated M, M/M. A chocolatier falls head over heels for one of his most austere customers. A very exuberant chocolatier crushes on desperately on the deadpan professor who begins coming into his shop for coffee. Autism for autism and lots of flirting and teasing.
Deep Breath ā 7k, M/M, rated M. A painter is utterly obsessed with the butcher across the road, and the butcher is a little obsessed back. Lots of mental illness in this one, lots of reference ā implicit and explicit ā to suicidality, drug use, alcoholism, sexual assault and rape, ableism, consent issues, including past child sexual abuse, all in the context of a victim in recovery whilst also being in active addiction.
FREE FANTASY FICTION:
The Lord of the Woodās Spring Bride ā 10k, rated M. MB. A trans dressmaker is embroiled in the strange schemes of a local deity, and he lets himself be carried away with the tide.
Gellertās New Job ā 21k, rated M. MB. Gellert Osgodby has worked as a business manager for the King family for nearly a decade when an error in judgement brings his employment to an abrupt end. Lucien Pike, a rival kingpin, employs his services instead.
A Strangerās Visit ā 3.6k, rated T. MB. A priest of Freyr receives a strange visitation. A little bit of Norse godliness versus Norse priestliness.
FREE EROTIC FICTION:
Academic Incentive ā Rated E, M/M, 3.6k. A magical professor spreads one of his studentās holes for the education of the rest of the class ahead of a special incentive program ā where the lowest scoring examination participant is used as sexual relief by the rest of his peers. Featuring voyeurism, public sex, fingering, anal play, anal sex, size kink, begging, a bit of overstim and tears, public use.
Caught ā Cis M/trans M/cis M, 3.2k. MB. A thief is caught in the treasury and his punishment is delivered by the guards on duty. Unadulterated porn without plot ā dubious consent, anal, vaginal, and oral sex, spitroasting, size difference, rough sex, fingering, messy sex with a bit of squirting and also messy oral, double penetration (vaginal/oral and vaginal/anal), crying, mindbreak, pussy spanking, spanking, some nipple play. Unsafe sex, no prophylactics or contraceptives are used or mentioned.
Archival Management ā 10k, M/M, MB. An archivist with a messy life finds himself intensively managed by his sexy, older boss. Magical archivists in Camelot with the most mundane of delicious emotional and sexual issues. Featuring age difference, orgasm denial, oral, desperation, crying, a bit of mild humour and nastiness, delicious emotional manipulation, and a heavy dose of mind-reading.
A Gift for the Wolfmen ā 6.4k, rated E. Two trans men, both being gangbanged by four cis wolfmen with huge cocks. Fantasy universe with adventurers and so forth. Featuring stuck-through-wall and grope boxes, body writing, vaginal, oral, and anal play, huge come inflation, size difference, knotting, power dynamics, virginity kink, objectification and dehumanisation, degradation, humiliation, breeding kink, body modification, mentions of lactation and pregnancy, and enthusiastic consent throughout.
FREE HORROR FICTION:
Ambitious Men ā Rated M. MB. 11.6k. Archie had idolised Casper Hugo almost his entire life. Deeply fucked up fantasy-horror, wherein a man finds that his dream of taking over his heroās restaurant is not to proceed as smoothly as he hoped.
Wild Country ā 3k, Gen, rated T. A young woman walks home on a foggy night.
The Widowerās Garden ā 12.5k, Rated M, MB. After a man is widowed, his husband begins to appear at the foot of his garden every night. Content warnings for horror, violence, trauma, infidelity, nasty guys being nasty.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
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This week i accidentally deleted the master spreadsheet where i had a few hundred characters names and DOBs and heights etc and i went to look at a part-finished chapter and found that it was not even started and idk if i imagined it or deleted it or what but i am š®āšØ tired
I came across an interesting Reddit post where a Redditor was angry that their great uncleās FindAGrave biography mentioned that their uncle had died in a domestic violence murder-suicide, killing his girlfriend (the mother of two young sons) and then taking his own life. The event happened decades ago but the sons and the grandchildren of the woman his great uncle killed could still be alive. It is common for newspaper article clippings and explanations of the decedentās circumstances to be included in the FindAGrave entries of murderers, the descendants of murder victims seem to support this, additionally, there is an argument that this is important so that passersbys understand why certain graves are set apart and do not have flowers and do not feel undue sympathy. The person who edited the entry to describe the Redditorās great uncleās crimes was likely a local who remembered the act or a descendant of the woman who he killed but the Redditor was highly offended though the information was factual. Iām wondering how everyone feels about this.
Should FindAGrave biographies contain factual information about the decedentās heinous crime(s) when applicable?
Yes, it is a matter of public record & vital biographical info.
It should be the choice of the descendants of the victim of the act.
It should be the choice of the descendants of the perpetrator, like the Redditor
No, never. Let the dead rest in peace.
Something else (leave in tags or replies).
I donāt know enough about this/Iām undecided.
Voting ended onAug 7
I will say, I think it is very interesting that the graves of famous outlaws always mention that they are famous outlaws with no pushback but this person canāt stand the idea that everyone knows his great uncle was a piece of shit who killed an innocent woman. Additionally, one of my ancestors was a murderer (though it was allegedly a semi-justifiable act of revenge) and I would not care if someone edited her bio to mention that.
I said this in the replies but I think it is important to say it here, genealogy work is not for the faint of heart. Weāre all descended from/related to highly imperfect people, sometimes people who did things that are unequivocally evil. The answer to finding out that one of your ancestors or family members was a terrible person or did terrible things is not to scrub all record of those actions from existence, it is to disavow them and work to be a better person. An ego-driven desire to save face and whitewash your ancestors into being innocent people can make you complacent in what they did and shows you are more focused on the possible effects on your own image than horror/disgust at the action itself or a desire to distance yourself from the behavior.
Iām pretty upfront with some of the terrible discoveries Iāve made in my genealogical research. For example, I have ancestors who fought on the wrong side of the Civil War (and some who fought for the Union, the family was right on what became the Virginia/West Virginia border) and instead of conveniently ignoring that or trying to scrub any record of their association with the Confederate Army, I continue to try to point out revisionist neo-Confederate narratives and continue to try to educate myself on anti-racism. Because no, I am not my 4x great grandpa, I never knew him but I know he did harm.
You're not really supposed to say it this way, because its considered crass, but here in the US children are culturally and legally considered essentially the property of their parents.
Note that its considered more crass to point this out than it is to treat children as property in the first place.
This is true. Kids' constitutional rights are also a mess; for a long time, they were relegated to the juvenile justice system which was able to do essentially anything it wanted to them in the guise of being a "kind and just parent." This culminated in the Supreme Court case In Re Gault.
In Re Gault was about a 15 year old kid who allegedly did a stupid crank phone call to a neighbor. (I don't think it was ever proven that it was actually him; he said it was his friend and he kicked his friend out after the phone call was made.) The sheriff took him into custody, his parents were not informed, and he was kept at the local jail. After that, the judge in the case decided that he needed to go to the state reform school until he was twenty-one (21) god damn years old.
Important to note that these reform schools were unregulated rarely inspected abuse factories. As with pretty much any time you hide away children and put adults in charge of them who can do anything they want, the children were often directly physically and sexually abused, used for forced labor, locked in solitary confinement, deprived of education, forced into religious conversion... What happened to these kids is very similar to the unceasing horror and violence done to Native Americans in residential schools, complete with unmarked graves, and just like with the indigenous peoples, authorities patted themselves on the back for taking care of the problem.
Gault, in this process, was not:
Told what specific crime he was charged with (the judge tried to backtrack and say it was a different one later)
Given an attorney
Given a transcript or the ability to make a transcript of the proceedings
Allowed to appeal the decision.
His parents brought it to the state Supreme Court anyway on a habeas corpus petition, which the Court referred back to the original judge to decide. When the original judge decided that he'd been right after all, they brought it back to the state Supreme Court, which said that all the problems seemed cleared up now.
The United States Supreme Court reversed 8-1 (THERE WAS A DISSENT!!!!) and gave kids, at that point, in the year of our lord 1967, the right to know what charges they had, the right to confront their accusers, and the right to have an attorney.
I joke-not-joke that the only right that kids have in the United States is the right to me. Because they do get an attorney when they get dragged into court! They get fuck-all else.
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Thinking about this exchange between Jadzia and Arjin in Playing God:
When I found out Curzon was dying, I requested the Dax symbiont.
And Curzon didnāt object?
No. And Iāve never been sure quite why. Except, as Iāve come to know Curzonās dark sense of humour, I have a feeling the irony might have appealed to him.
Jadzia specifically requesting to take the Dax symbiont after her awful experience with Curzon is genuinely one of the most fascinating insights into her character, imo. Itās a showcase of her gritty determination, but also invites a lot of questions as to her motivations and her internal contradictions.
Because thereās something absolutely wild about choosing to inherit the memories of a mentor who did such a number on your self-esteem. Jadzia didnāt know that Curzon was in love with her (a reveal I have⦠mixed feelings about). For all she knew, he genuinely was unimpressed with her, and she was incredibly burned by not measuring up to his standards. And yet she chose to inherit his symbiont and his memories of her, to take that perception of her and make it a part of herself. Iāve experienced shitty academic mentorship (although not to that extent, fortunately) and I canāt think of anything that sounds worse than sharing my consciousness with someone Iāve had that experience with. But Jadzia wanted to.
And while we get her conjecturing about Curzonās motivations in that exchange up there, she doesnāt elaborate on her own motivations for requesting the Dax symbiont. We can make inferences - she did it for the sense of vindication (she says she ātore through the program with a vengeanceā when she reapplied), as a symbol of her resilience and her knowledge of her own worth and worthiness in spite of Curzonās perceptions of her.
But it is an interesting contradiction, because for the most part her bad experiences as an initiate made her very avoidant of everything to do with Trill and the Symbiosis Commission. Sheās apprehensive about having to go back there in Equilibrium, she put off doing her zhianātara for so long that they had to do it on the station instead of on Trill, etc. And yet, she hasnāt washed her hands of the entire experience, because she actively chose to take on the most intimate possible reminder of it.
And while you could argue that taking on those memories and that perspective could constitute a sort of reconciliation with that experience (since, leaving aside Curzonās actual reasons for washing her out, a lot of harsh mentorship is less malicious and personal than it feels on the receiving end), she obviously hasnāt reconciled herself to what happened. Itās clear from this episode that she still harbors a lot of anger and bitterness towards Curzon - when Sisko says āyou made it through the program,ā she replies, āno thanks to him.ā Itās only through personal experience that she comes to understand Curzonās POV (as she sees it) and appreciate the value of having high standards for initiates.
To me, her inheritance of the Dax symbiont is a symbol of both her rising above her insecurities, and the way those insecurities still haunt her. Itās clear in Facets that even though Curzon has very much influenced her behaviour and interests and priorities, sheās still apprehensive about actually āmeetingā him, because his treatment of her is still a thorn in her side. And for a while sheās willing to simply let those memories go rather than confront him! So maybe her decision to take Dax was also a desire to keep that reminder of her failure close to her chest, to master it and subsume it into herself and rise above it. But across both Playing God and Facets, Curzon a part of Dax that she has considerable trouble incorporating into her gestalt conception of herself.
Thereās maybe a parallel with Verad and Invasive Procedures, too. When Jadzia gets the symbiont back from Verad, she has all of his memories, so she canāt help but sympathize with him despite him committing this massive violation and nearly killing her. And with Curzon, she voluntarily took on his memories, and heās very much a part of her despite not only having wounded her self-esteem but also, as we find out, committed a massive abuse of power against her. Idk, Iām just so fascinated by the fact that Jadzia not only knew Daxās previous host, but that he was responsible for what she describes as one of the most miserable experiences of her life.
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