And Did You Come To Stare Or Wash Away The Blood?

people really do not know how to deal with in-system abuse and conflict. the only thing anyone seems to say is either "its not real" or "identify which one(s) are the Bad Alters and get rid of them"

its all "alters have a reason they exist and a reason for their actions you should try to understand and respect them" until they do something bad and then the ONLY thing you can POSSIBLY think to say is to just get rid of them? lock them up? or cut them out of their own life? no thank you.

you dont have the fucking right to abuse your alters or treat them like shit or mock them. you arent more entitled to existing than they are. get the fuck over yourself.

and you are not "the real one" either. being the host or the original or both or whatever else does NOT give you the right to treat your sysmates like garbage. it doesnt give you the right to try and control them or hurt them or mock them or shittalk them behind their back or whatever the fuck else.

There's a lot of motivational posts about trauma recovery out there but I think what goes under acknowledged is just how much recovery and progress can look like nothing at all to an outsider, or even seem counterproductive based on more common recovery narratives. Sometimes growth is being able to disagree with someone without cowering in fear. Sometimes getting better means becoming rougher around the edges. Sometimes positive change means accepting that you're an asshole from time to time, but so is everyone else in the world. It's not shameful. It's not wrong. It's not immoral. It's not "anti-recovery" to grow some teeth as part of your recovery. It's just what some people need to live a happier and more fulfilling life. If you find your fangs have gotten sharper and you're getting better at figuring out when to bare your teeth or bite, I'm proud of you.

i feel like it'd be at least a step forward in destigmatising self harm if more people recognised just how many of their less than perfect lifestyle choices can be defined - and weaponised - as "self harming behaviours"

if you've never had "you could hurt yourself" used as a threat against your right to autonomy over your own body then i'm grateful it isn't something you've been taught to expect and factor into your decisions just to be allowed to retain that self determination without having it challenged

dislike how many mental health posts on here are just "you've never done anything wrong in your life ever and they were evil for that"

maybe you did do something wrong. maybe you hurt someone. maybe you have said awful things. maybe you were just as bad as them. maybe. but what matters is that you move on. you have to try. you have to wake up and be kinder. you have to learn and listen and grow. maybe you did do something wrong but that doesn't mean you have to keep doing that. as long as you are alive, you can change

ok google how do i propose deeper friendship and intimacy to my mutuals without feeling like a pervert predator

hey. can we DM? do you want a voice message? do you want to see a picture of my face? do you wanna call? do you wanna get off on call with me? do you wanna consider us friends? do you wanna share secrets? do you wanna hint vaguely at where we both live to gauge how far we are from each other? do you wanna meet? do you wanna hang out? do you wanna fuck? do you wanna hold hands and kiss? does this make me creepy? is this too far? do you wanna kill me. i'm really sorry

you say to me here is a woman. she's insane and irreparably broken and probably a danger to herself and others. and i say yay yippee woohoo! and things of this nature

haha. You did irreparable damage btw