Per Aspera Ad Inferi

hömma

samma

du kannst mich mal

fick dich ins knie

geht's noch?

bruder, muss los

rede

heul leise

muss ja

bodenlos

ehrenlos

hömma (slang. "listen")

samma (slang. "say")

du kannst mich mal (shortened version of "du kannst mich mal am arsch lecken", "you can lick my ass")

fick dich ins knie ("fuck yourself in the knee")

geht's noch? ("are you alright?" but in a very incredulous, offended tone)

bruder muss los ("bro, gotta go". said when you're frustrated or exasperated)

rede (literally "speak", but used like "preach" when you agree with something)

heul leise ("cry quietly")

muss ja (not literally but something like "well, it's gotta work out". has the same note of resignation as "it is what it is")

bodenlos ("bottomless". as in: your attitude is excessive like filling a barrel without a bottom)

ehrenlos ("honourless")

doch (has no translation. usually used to counter a negative statement. idk read this.)

tja (expression of "well, this is the situation now")

jein ("yesn't")

Alter ("old person", shortened from "Alter Schwede", "Old Swede" as an expression of amazement/bewilderment, in its short form also used to address people you're close with in the sense of "bro")

hobbylos ("hobbyless")

ham'se dir ins hirn geschissen? ("did they shit in your brain?")

läuft bei dir (literally "goes with you", meaning something works out for you, like "oh you had three full meals today. läuft bei dir!". often also used ironically)

verarschen kann ich mich auch alleine ("i can kid myself just fine", expression of "you've said something offensively stupid")

digga (slang. comes from "dicker". literally "fatso" but without the derogatory connotation. used like "bro" both to address someone or just add as a filler word)

merkste selber, ne? ("realise that yourself, do ya?" used when someone says something contradictory and you point it out)

hast du lack gesoffen? ("did you drink paint?")

machste nix ("you do nothing" used when the situation can't be changed)

selber ("yourself". in response to being insulted: "you asshole"-"selber!")

steckste nicht drin ("you're not stuck in it" in the sense of "well, it's not you in that situation.")

junge ("boy". filler word and expression of frustration)

mach nicht diesen (literally "don't do it like that", but meaning "don't do that")

hakt's? ("snags?", shortened from "is it snagging?". Used like "is it not working?" usually in reference to someone's intelligence)

gottlos ("godless". i also encounter the phrase "gottlos auf Mutter" "godless at mother" as in the mother/her honour is being godlessly attacked)

wird schon ("will" as in "it will work out")

passt schon ("fits" as in "it fits just fine" used like "works for me", sometimes used ironically)

lass mal ("leave it")

isso ("slang. "it's like that". when you agree with someone, similar to "this!")

they perform as well as expensive HEPA air cleaners, and are comparatively VERY inexpensive. all you need is a box fan, 4 air filters, a piece of cardboard, and some duct tape!!!!

the babies who serenade us as they await their meat

She believes the government needs to deport every arab citizen, take control over the west bank and gaza and deport everyone there too, and also take over parts of Jordan and over the Sinai Peninsula and deport everyone there.

That's a real conversation I had with a friend's mom who also dragged my friend into protests calling for greater Israel. They also protested against the hostage deals. They're Israeli Jews.

It's that that's still way, way less territory than people currently claim Israel is trying to conquer. As in, at this very moment.

This isn't what is being talked about. I don't know if you're Israeli yourself, but if you are you may very well live in blissful ignorance of the vast numbers of gentile conspiracy theorists who fervently believe that it is the unanimous consensus of all Israelis to actively work towards this map:

Which, obviously, isn't the case.

This is what I know as "greater Israel" that I thought op was talking about:

i recently experienced some pretty severe transphobic abuse in my workplace (children’s home) that included having food thrown at me, being called slurs, being told i was a pervert because i am trans. one of the managers talked with me afterwards and shared that he had had a similar experience as an Asian man. this wasn’t him derailing my experience, or talking over me, or making things about himself. he was communicating “hey, i know how it feels and how much it sucks. you’re not alone.”

THAT is what solidarity IS. i don’t know what it’s like to be Asian, he doesnt know what it’s like to be trans, but we both had a similar experience and we were able to turn a horrible experience into an opportunity for bonding and comfort.

But it meant that we had absolutely no help or support when we were trying to work on the relationship in ways that *did* value my autonomy. There's basically no advice for people who want to try to make a relationship where there's a big desire gap work that isn't "well you should just have sex anyway" or "just break up lol". And that sucks!

Just after giving birth, during a family crisis, during a mental health episode, during health problems, during stressful periods at work

There are a lot of times when one person is horned up and raring to go and the other has no interest

And the solution often presented is that the person who is going through something should just put out because they are the problem instead of like...finding ways to engage in non sexual intimacy to reaffirm closeness

An asexual person is going to get 10x the amount of pressure and blame put on them and no advice on how non-sexual intimacy can help their relationships and if they get that at all it will only be to sell it as a bridge to sex they don't want.

I really hate the selling of intimacy as only equaling or facilitating sex. Intimacy comes in many forms and should be explored more by every couple as a non sexual act. And it the given importance it deserves. In fact I would argue if we as a society put more value on non sexual intimacy more relationships would be happier and healthier

people would stop getting shit

for being themselves.

In fact I would argue if we as a society put more value on non sexual intimacy more relationships would be happier and healthier.

So many people put such a heavy pressure on sex to fulfill all or almost all intimacy needs in romantic relationships, because they haven’t learnt or considered other forms of intimacy. Because sex seems simple and straightforward, and socially has been constructed to be a way to measure romantic love. And there’s just so much more ways to connect beyond sex.

I myself was in a relationship with an allo guy for 9 years, and was pressured into doing all sorts of things I didn’t want to do, which left me badly scarred to this day. Seeked professional help, was told I was the problem and needed fixing, which kept me in that abusive relationship for a long time out of guilt. The “fixing”, as it turned out, only traumatized me further and didn’t change me (oh, surprise, conversion therapies don’t work!).

Thankfully I ended up breaking up with the guy.

I’ve now been in a long-term romantic relationship with another allo person for some years, and it’s working. Because there are SO MANY ways to connect and feel fulfilled in a relationship aside from sex. All it takes is being kind, thoughtful and curious.

Never let anyone make you feel that your asexuality is a problem. It isn’t. It’s just another part of who you are. A beautiful, enriching, meaningful one. It should be embraced and honoured by your romantic partners, allo or not.

Sadly not all allo people will understand. But that doesn’t make you the problem. If they can’t see past sex into the infinite potential ways of human connection, the problem is theirs.