werewolf connoisseur

You hit like a drunk cigarette The feelin' amplified By sayin' things we never meant, oh, yeah mikey is both a heavy smoker and heavy drinker and he loves pairing them. the only thing better than drunk cigarettes are after sex cigarettes. he has very often compared the way cole makes him feel to that, or a really really good high. one of the things they did in the beginning - and still do to a degree - is just entertain some bullshit pretend scenario that neither of them really mean and/or simply wouldn't be possible (yet). like, cole leaving ed for him, or mikey able to give him all the impossible things he wants. they love a what-if.

You leave me filled with regret At the end of the night I always find myself wonderin' why, oh, yeah mikey's feelings for cole at this stage are complicated, confused, and very repressed. he feels regrets for things he doesn't even fully comprehend, but also for things that he wishes could be different. he wonders why he regrets so much when he''s not really been that way before with someone. he also wonders why about himself. one of the defining things about mikey at this moment is that he's in constant conflict with himself. he wants this but he's hellbent on no commitments. he wants this but he doesn't understand why bc he's straight and it makes no sense. he is confusion.

Do you got plans for life? 'Cause I don't wanna just romance tonight I wanna see you in another light, oh, yeah going back to their talking shit they don't mean habit, sometimes that ventures into pure denial, talking about things they'll swear up and down mean nothing but deep down there's nothing they want more than it. mikey does this a lot when he what-ifs about a life together. he is a huuuuuuge romantic and desperately wants to be a whipped malewife. he loves being a one slutty night stand but his heart wants so much more than the fling. it's almost painful how much he wants it with cole. he sees what looks like from his outside perspective such a shitty and abusive situation between cole and ed (i mean. it is. but they like it that way.) and he hears how this gorgeous, witty, wonderful, patient, sarcastic bastard of a man talks about himself like he's nothing but pure wretchedness (he is, actually) and all mikey wants is to make cole see himself in the same light mikey sees him in. he wants to be the one who can turn things around. With rhythm, there is rhyme With you, there always can be I I wanna see you in another light, ooh mikey is an entertainer by nature, but he loves to dance and sing. he loves doing it with cole. mikey is also simplistic and pragmatic even if its flawed. A leads to B. X results in Y. there is an excuse to be found in everything. if there is no song to go with the dance he will make one. in his head, that simple part of him really wants to believe he could be the one for cole just because they vibe so well and he wouldn't ever hurt him in the ways ed does.

I don't wanna talk down on your lover genuinely, he tries his damndest not to talk down on ed. he bites his tongue because that isn't his place and isn't his business. he doesn't want to talk down on him because he doesn't want it to be true how their relationship is. I don't wanna be a homewrecker again, mikey really doesn't want to fuck things up with them. that isn't his goal. he's under the assumption at the moment that cole has ed's blessing for this fling of theirs. at the same time, he's well practiced in plausable deniability and avoids asking certain questions. again, it's not his business. if another consenting adult is gonna get in bed with him, he's gonna assume they take responsibility for their own actions. he really doesn't want to be a homewrecker, but he doesn't exactly try not to be. I just know I can be better, bе better, be bеtter I don't wanna talk down on your lover I don't wanna be a broken record I just know I can be better, be better, be better and this is where it comes back to the feelings he's all twisted up about inside. half of it he doesn't understand yet. but even still, he's often able to put his internal homophobia aside and tell himself "maybe i don't get it, but i would be better to him than that." but even that lives in conflict. bc yes, he would be better in the sense that he wouldn't be giving cole black eyes and he'd make him feel like the most cherished person in the world. but. the whole reason he doesn't do commitment is that he knows he's on limited time and he knows he couldn't ever really calm down from his wild ways, so a partner would be heartbroken by him anyway. he believes he could be better but at the same time knows he'd probably be worse in some ways. regardless, it doesn't stop the romantic in him from wanting to be that person who makes it better.

We sit on the fire escape We talk and talk 'til dawn I open up to you about my wrongs, oh, yeah literallllyyyyyyy this is exactly what they did their first weekend together. and it's what they do every time cole is over at mikey's. they go out on the fire escape and talk. usually about deep shit. but that first weekend, that was where mikey did actually start opening up about his wrongs and the fuck ups and how he's so haunted by it all. Then we lay and contemplate Just one more round of love Before you go home to another one again, this is something that has happened. will happen many more times lmao. they'll linger in bed to prolong every second they have together. lay in silence thinking about how much they don't wanna part ways, and it'll inevitably lead up to more making out and more foreplay and each of them trying to convince themself they can go another round. mikey contemplates keeping him there. however, being somewhat possessive and petty, mikey always likes to send him home a mess. like if he must go home to this prick, then that prick will have to deal with his sloppy seconds. but then ofc it'll wind up back at regret once he's left.

Do you got plans for life? 'Cause I don't wanna just romance tonight I wanna see you in another light, oh, yeah With rhythm, there is rhyme With you, there always can be I I wanna see you in another light, ooh

I don't wanna talk down on your lover I don't wanna be a homewrecker I just know I can be better, be better, be better I don't wanna talk down on your lover I don't wanna be a broken record I just know I can be better, be better, be better

I don't wanna be how you formulate opinions on astrology, oh no Or to say we made peace And then your friends don't even wanna talk to me, no more, no more he doesn't want to become just another crazy scorpio like so many girls in the past have done to him. he wasn't want to be just another shitty human. he doesn't want to be reduced to a category of something when spoken of. he doesn't want to call this thing of theirs cheating even though it is. he doesn't want to accept being the bad guy in this scenario. he doesn't want to make peace with cole's man when that man is a piece of shit. and he doesn't want to be the one who admits it's cheating and leave, because for one that would just suck but for another he'd lose cole's friends too, and those are his friends now. he doesn't want to be the mere fling mentioned in passing in the story of cole's life. I wanna kiss you on the bed and on the floor legit, mikey cannot get enough of kissing cole. he likes kissing him more than he likes fucking him. there's something magical in those kissses to him. like it's a problem how badly he wants to kiss him all the time. man is obsessed with those lips. he's kissed a fucklot of people, but kissing cole is like experiencing it for the first time every time.

When I'm poor, when I'm bored I am yours, I am yours, I am yours mikey isn't financially poor per se, although he did grow up that way. he's not well off, but he makes a comfortable living plus enough to keep his mammy taken care of. i feel like this line relates a little more to his mental state, like when he's just doing poorly. it isn't often since he's exceptionally good at masking bad days and doesn't trust many people to let them see him that way besides. cole is one of those people though. mikey gives himself to cole completely whether he realizes it or not. surrenders and submits to him. he doesn't realize the full intensity of it yet, but he does desperately want to be cole's to claim. little does he know part of that is the magical bond they share, but the rest of it is just trusting him so much and being so comfortable with him that he wants to belong to him in mind and body.