Asexual and Aromantic Positivity

“You can’t compare sex work to other types of work because having sex you’re not enthusiastic about is really traumatizing”

I’m sure for a lot of people that’s true but for me sex and masturbation occupy a similar emotional space to brushing my teeth or doing the dishes and I certainly don’t feel traumatized about it and I know for a fact that I’m not the only person who feels this way.

Also I think that someone physically and violently forcing me to brush my teeth might end up being traumatizing.

Sex is so taboo and mythologized that people have forgotten the mechanics of it.

Yeah sex might be sacred and important to you. To me it’s a chore I’ve gotta do sometimes. Like cooking. I love cooking and put great importance on it and who I do it with. A lot of people just cook to live though.

Aro and ace activism is healthcare reform, so that no one needs to rely on a spouse for health insurance, so that healthcare is available to everybody regardless of income, so that no one’s lived experiences or basic dignity are dismissed or overridden by doctors

Aro and ace activism is well-funded and expansive public transit, so that you don’t need to have someone on hand to drive you places if you are incapacitated, so that you don’t have to pay for an ambulance if you need to get to the hospital quickly

Aro and ace activism is disability and elder care services, so that no one needs a spouse to care for them, so that no one needs children to care for them, so that marriage is not a bind for disabled people, so that people on disability who want to and can live alone can

Aro and ace activism is community-building, it’s public events, it’s free social activities, it’s mutual aid, it’s activities that bring community members together without socializing relying on just a romantic partner

Aro and ace activism is developing a culture of believing when people tell you who they are and what they want rather than assuming you know them better than they know themselves

I still don't forgive people for their behavior towards asexuals and I never will

The post said "Stop trying to censor erotic art just because someone else doesn't like it. It won't work."

Aces can and do experience the beauty in erotic art. We just don't experience it the same way Allos do.

None of that has anything to do with policing or suppressing the creation of erotic art.

Having sex with a body outside the norm or with a person outside the norm in a way outside the norm is seen as rediculous. So is opting out of sex altogether. In reality both are seen as unacceptable.

I am not an egg! I am nonbinary! I actually already tried the girl thing, thanks! Makes me dysphoric as hell.

I can like long socks and metal music and my computer, and sometimes pick the girl character, and still be agender thanks!!!

Most games make me pick so I just swap which one I use every other time to keep that nb feel. So yes sometimes that's the girl. But I'm not an egg and I shouldn't have to tell you details to have that respected!

Thanks! Here you go 🥰

Some other additions:

Inspired by @unicorn-in-the-library:

And because @surfs-up-roxy wanted an ace one:

I didn't want to make the message ace-specific because I wanted to make a point of how all of the above include aspec people, but I tried to use an ace colour palette for the background :) I also think the message applies especially (even if not exclusively) to the ace community!

I played around with the concept a bit, I hope you like it anyway!

I feel like this also needs to be said:

Image 1: (in white text, on a background of rainbow watercolors) Gatekeeping hurts queer people who are questioning.

Image 2: (in white text, on a background of rainbow paint strokes) Gatekeeping hurts more queer people than it protects.

Image 3: (in white text, on a background of pastel watercolors) How about you let people question their gender and sexuality in peace.

Image 4: (in white text, on a photo of the rainbow pride flag flying in a blue sky) People don’t owe you a chronicle of their life experiences and feelings for you to decide whether they belong in their own community.

Image 5: (in white text, on a marbled pink background) I don’t know how to tell you this, but you are not the queer police.

Image 6: (in white text, on a background of multicolored textile) Stop siding with our oppressors.

Image 7: (in white text, on a photo of pieces of chalk arranged in a rainbow on asphalt) Not every queer person’s experiences need to be like yours.

Image 8: (in white text, on a background of shiny, rainbow chunks of metal (?)) Mind your own damn business.

Image 9: (in white text, on a mottled black & rainbow background) Let people change labels.

Image 10: (in white text, on a photo of a full moon in a dark sky) There’s no such thing as not being queer enough.

Image 11: (in white text, on a background of paint strokes in pink, white, magenta, purple and dark blue, the colors of the genderfluid pride flag) Vocabulary is designed to be constantly reinvented as human societies evolve, and labels aren’t the exception.

Image 12: (in white text, on a background of pink, purple, and turquoise) Gatekeeping is a product of privilege.

Here's one more addition per @secretlycrazyhummingbird's suggestion:

[ID: (in white text, over a black background with striking rainbow lights) gatekeepers are nothing but bullies. End ID]

And I'm really glad this post has helped so many people feel a bit less alone in their struggles. Bullies have made a LOT of damage in this community—have made so many of us feel like impostors, like trenders, like maybe we were making up the things we were feeling—and it makes me so happy we're all pushing back against their hateful, narrow-minded, queerphobic rhetoric.

- aromantic people who aren't asexual.

- asexual people who aren't aromantic.

- cishet aromantic and cishet asexual people.

- aromantic men in general.

- intersex people who are trans.

- intersex people who are are cis.

- intersex people who are cistrans/tris and those who are neither.

- intersex people who are cishet.

- intersex people in general.

- nonbinary people who don't personally identify as transfem or transmasc.

- nonbinary people who don't want to be androgynous.

- cis people who use neopronouns and/or xenogenders while still feeling cis fits just fine.

- people who feel gender dysphoria or misgendered when referred to by they/them, especially after telling you not to use they/them.

PART TWO.