It's very interesting the gendered double-edged sword of being believed about pain. People assumed to be cis men are supposed to tough out pain, repress it, tamp it down. You're not allowed to react to pain because it's a weakness. You're not that hurt, and even if you are, you cannot show it. But then people assumed to be cis women are supposedly weaker, so if you react to pain it's a sign that you're reacting to a lower threshold of pain. You're not that hurt, you're just a woman.
And it's wild because men and women both, cis and trans alike, are so convinced that they are the only ones not believed about pain, not allowed to express certain emotions.
When disability is a connected factor, then there is even greater disbelief, backlash, lack of patience. When mental health is a factor, there is an even greater assumption of low tolerance or delusion. When race is a connected factor, then suddenly Black people are meant to have a higher pain tolerance, so they are allowed to suffer more. Self-medication is expected in some areas, and forbidden in others. Access through financial means is a barrier to care.
There's so many layers to the concept of "I'm not allowed to react to my suffering" that are all true, but every time there is someone making gendered arguments of "UNLIKE MY OPPOSITE" I have to call bullshit. Cis men and women do it to each other, they do it to trans people, trans people do it to each other, and to cis people.
Everyone's pain is being ignored, no one's needs are being met, because we are participating in a hierarchical system that tries to imply inherent superiority, and if anything dampens your assumed superiority then you're weak, and if you can do anything to challenge your assumed weakness then you're a threat.
