Paper Cranes and Pride

yes* the image most people have in their heads of a nonbinary person is someone white, thin, lacking breasts, lacking a visible penis, lacking facial hair, lacking makeup, lacking lacking lacking. but why is it that when people critique this image, they never critique the idea that this is how we are defining androgyny? people loving talking about how this image is neutral-masculine as proof it favors transmasculine/FTX people, but there are plenty of transfeminine/MTX people who also go for this neutral-androgynous look.

meanwhile, many nb/gq/gnc people of all assigned sexes and genders are hairy, fat, have breasts (or give themselves breasts), have penises (or give themselves penises), dresses using both feminine and masculine clothing, etc. hell, just look at how stigmatized the androgyny of intersex people with PMOS & other kinds of hyperandrogenism are. the image of a fat hairy person with large breasts and a deep voice is repulsive in patriarchal culture; this is androgyny, too. to act like "androgyny" is one simple thing is to erase how misandrogyny actually functions.

It's nonbinary people. Most specifically, nonbinary people who were assigned female at birth. According to most reports, nonbinariness adds a very prominent factor to victimization rates, not only sexual victimization.

I understand how that conflation happens, people are grouping nonbinary people afab under "transmasculine", but we really should not be doing that.

James, S. E., Herman, J. L., Rankin, S., Keisling, M., Mottet, L., & Anafi, M. (2016). The Report of the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey. Washington, DC: National Center for Transgender Equality.

A lot of talk about boymoding and how hard it is but trans men do the exact same thing the other way around and a lot of times specifically because they are forced into sex work

afab does not mean that someone has or has ever had a vulva and a uterus.

DOCTORS FUCK UP ALL THE TIME

A COMPLETELY CIS AND PERISEX MAN COULD HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED FEMALE AT BIRTH DUE TO A DOCTORS FUCK UP

A COMPLETELY CIS AND PERISEX WOMAN COULD HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED MALE AT BIRTH DUE TO A DOCTORS FUCK UP

they constantly try to erase intersex people and do invasive surgeries on intersex children in order to get them to conform to a strict sex binary or even perform unnecessary medical procedures on intersex adults without consent

We haven't talked about it since, so I have no idea if she's come to terms with it, but I have. I am intersex. It is extremely common and people will lie about it being common because if it's revealed to NOT be rare, if things that ARE intersex are actually LABELED AS SUCH, then the whole 'there are only two genders/sexes' bullshit falls apart. And suddenly you can't control people with the bullshit narrative anymore (this is not the only reason, but every reason is fucking bullshit and is meant to continue oppression regardless)

Everyone I knew went to HB for HRT in Northwest Indiana and many of us on testosterone got completely fucked by doctors afraid of telehealth laws regarding the prescription of scheduled drugs across state lines. I watched two older guys in my life at the time struggle to get their testosterone that they had been getting consistently with HB for over a decade. I straight up fell through the cracks of their system because I had been getting my HRT through their youth clinic and was about to age out. That was the first time I stopped testosterone against my will because I couldn't get my prescription filled.

I was in my early 20's at the time and had a handful of adult trans mentors in their 30's-40's who said "Kid you should get out of here while you can because it's going to get bad here" so I saved and planned. And I did get out. And it did get worse. And I miss my hometown and my local queer community every single day. I miss the people who are still there struggling. My friends. My neighbors. The queer people that took me in and under their wings as my new extended family when I came out as a teenager.