When we posted the alternate ending for The Giving Tree a couple of weeks ago, it roused a lot of strong opinions for or against the rewrite. People either LOVED it or HATED it.

So… here’s another alternate ending (also by Topher Payne) to a much-debated children’s book, The Rainbow Fish.

What do we think of this one?

…

Thanks to a pair of a bionic gloves, this 80-year-old classical pianist can finally play the piano again. The maestro, João Carlos Martins, had lost dexterity in his hands due to aging and health complications. His face at being able to play piano again says it all. 🎶

Nines: Listen here, you horny little junebug–

Gavin: what the phck does that even mean huh??

Nines: It means that after we solve this case, I am going to tie your ankles to your wrists, flip you on your back, and watch you struggle.

Nines: Like a horny. Little. Junebug.

Gavin: *has not even admitted to himself he’s gay, still on his anti-android bullshit, vividly remembering all those wet dreams he keeps trying to forget*

Gavin:

Nesting

Hoarding things

Taking things apart

Wandering

Shitty memory

“you don’t need that many ????”

*takes pens apart constantly*

“so you mean to tell me you go to town to walk around the shops and that’s it?”

*in a familiar area* “where to ____” “idk sorry”

this bear? cancelled

this mountain? fucking cancelled

FUCK this lake

some people born hundreds of years after this thing was built suck shit so this building is now cancelled

MOSCOW? do you know who LIVES in Moscow?? like a lot of people actually, but also some bad people so NO PICTURES OF MOSCOW

COOL BUT CANCELLED. What happens in that building?? CORRUPTION probably, I don’t know, I didn’t look up what it was, but I know it’s in RUSSIA and we all know what HAPPENS IN RUSSIA

this SERENE yet ALIEN LANDSCAPE has been declared PROBLEMATIC

oh, do you like this?? do you find it…. ….””aesthetic””??? apparently you don’t know that Faberge eggs were popularized by Tsar Alexander III, who REVERSED MANY OF THE LIBERAL REFORMS OF HIS FATHER and can eat shit in general. that’s right Russia, I’m pulling receipts from 1885.