Cheers bro I'll drink to that

For writing examples, please see my fanfic / oneshot upload tag or my Furaffinity.

I'm willing to work with most fandoms, provided I am given enough information on what you want.

Closest match: Mya arenaria isolate MELC-2E11 chromosome 1 Common name: Soft-Shell Clam

turns out his princess is a lesbian and nobody knew, so when i cast the spell it made him into a beautiful princess. she asked for a refund right away and begged me (cryin', held me at swordpoint) to turn her back, but i says to her, i says, "The die has already been cast, and your fate is now sealed!" which is my way of sayin' "no refunds".

turns out, bein' a princess weren't so bad for her and she was able to take her sweet and beloved princess' hand in marriage. seems like everything worked out.

but then, surprise of my life, they both show up to my tower and my spell was undone. some dark sorcerer shithead (some kinda sketchy royal adviser who wanted to usurp the throne, a million like 'im) had removed my enchantments and turned our princess back into a knight. but she didn't want to be a man no more and asked me to redo the spell. gladly i changed her back in exchange for fuckin' up this sorcerer shmuck, (could be a threat to my business, you see) gave 'er an enchanted sword an everything. to my shock, the other princess takes the sword and vows to get this guy for me.

now i got all this guy's magic shit and good graces for life with the queens of the land, plus the best advertisement money can't buy. "yes, i am in fact That wizard from the story of the princess knight!" classic.

A man wears loud conservative merchandise in a crowded public space. He hopes that a stranger will become enraged by the mere sight of his t shirt. They never do.

A platinum blonde stares unblinking into the camera, an empath with a dire warning for liberals. Any day now the hammer will drop. All us freaks will be buried under the jail.

A sunbleched thumb of a deputy sheriff in a nice white neighborhood, hands slung from his bulletproof vest. He is optimistic about the future, he respects the rule of law. He advocates for explicit treason.

A man in a cheap suit meanders around an ordinary bookstore. He whispers a foreboding truth: The manga section is larger than the history section. The collapse of society is immanent.

Dutch angle in the man cave. Our subject pants, attempting to catch his breath. He was ranting to himself for twenty minutes before the camera was turned on. He needed to catch his breath. Off camera, unmuted FOX news casts wood paneling in curtains of blue and red.

A man with no assets admits to tax evation before god and the IRS.

(technically it's his old suit he just got it adjusted)

+bonus