semi-hiatus

His brother does.

His brother calls him, forgetting that Ilya went no-contact with him. Ilya's silent on the phone, listening to Alexei's wife softly explain it to him and take the phone.

He texts Ilya, asking when where he is. Asking who he's playing next game.

Ilya's been retired for over 20 years.

He knows Shane wants to say something, but he never does. He's just quietly supportive.

One day, it's Alexei's wife that calls him. She apologizes for calling. She tells him Alexei doesn't remember her anymore. Or their daughter. He only asks about Ilya and their parents. She offers to delete Ilya's number from his phone.

Ilya declines.

After that, he starts answering the phone. And talking.

Alexei asks where he is. Ilya tells him he's coming home soon. That seems to make Alexei happy.

Alexei asks who Ilya is playing. Ilya says Montreal. Alexei tells him to win or papa will be angry.

Alexei tells him mama made him soup. Ilya tells him that was his daughter. Alexei laughs, he doesn't have a daughter.

He doesn't remember how cruel he was to Ilya. He doesn't remember how much he loved drugs and drinking.

He was so much like Ilya's Alexei, before he started taking after their father. Before he let his anger at their mother consume him. Before he caught Ilya and Sasha and allowed his fear for his little brother to turn into anger and disgust.

One day Ilya offers his wife, Natalia, to have them visit. Their daughter has visited more than once, even stayed with them for a summer after high school. His and Shane's kids tried to teach her hockey.

Natalia regretfully tells him Alexei is not well enough to travel.

Ilya can't travel to them, not while he's married to Shane.

But their phone calls are enough.

About once a week, he gets to speak to a version of his brother than he had dearly missed. He gets to talk about his mama like she's still live, not dead for over 50 years. He gets to talk about the rink he and Alexei used to play hockey at. To talk about the stray cat he and Alexei once hid in their bedroom for a week.

He finds himself looking forward to the phone calls.

Instead, it’s Yuna. But that’s not what catches his attention - it’s the group chat he’s been added to.

Hollander Family Chat Jane's mama: Hi Lily! Jane: Mom! Lily can’t have this chat name on her phone. Jane’s mama: Sorry, honey! I’ll fix it. Jane’s mama changed the group name to: Family ❤️ Family ❤️ Jane: That’s better. Just make sure her name is Lily in your phones. Jane’s papa: Done and done, kiddo! Jane: Thank you. Jane’s mama: Anyway, Lily, do you have thanksgiving weekend plans? Because I noticed you and Jane are both free that weekend and I thought…

Ilya put his phone down as Yuna detailed their thanksgiving plans. He could not tear up in the Bear's locker room.

He never imagined himself having this, never let himself consider it. Being in a family group chat. Having a family. He was pretty sure he buried that dream with his mama.

But the Hollanders welcomed him so comfortably. Even after he caused their son to lie to them. Even after all the things he’d done. They never even wanted an apology, would probably be confused if he gave one.

He’s afraid if he moves wrong it’ll all disappear.

But he has to respond because he wants to spend with holiday with them so much.

And the texts don’t stop there.

Family ❤️ Jane’s mama: Great game today, Lily! What a comeback. Lily: You watched? Jane’s mama: Of course! We watch all your and Shane’s games. Jane: Jane. Delete that text. Jane’s papa: And if we miss it, I have them on the recorder. Lily: Thank you.

~*~*~

Family ❤️ Jane’s papa: Lily, do you have any allergies? Lily: Russians do not get allergies. Jane: Yes they do and no, dad, Lily does not. Jane: Also, don’t mention being Russian.

~*~*~

Family ❤️ Jane’s mama: Lily, could I get the forwarding information for your agent? Jane got a proposal that I think will work out perfectly for you. Jane: Please call about this. Lily: Not only hockey players get proposals maybe I am famous model Jane. Lily. Jane’s papa: You could definitely be a model, kiddo! Lily: Thank you 🥰 Jane why are you unsupportive of your girlfriend. Jane: Boyfriend. Jane’s papa: Now I’m confused.

~*~*~

Family ❤️ Jane’s mama: I can’t believe the ref let Adams get away with that hit! Jane’s papa: . . .

Ilya gripped the phone waiting for David’s response. The metros had been obliterated 1-5 and Shane, fresh off a bruised wrist, didn’t play his best.

Jane’s papa: How’s your wrist, son? Jane: It’s fine. Jane’s papa: Lots of ice and elevation! You played great! Jane: I didn’t. Jane’s papa: You’ll get them next time!

Ilya breathed out, shaking his head. Shane didn’t know how lucky he was. And Ilya was so grateful he didn’t.

Eventually, Ilya even began initiating the conversation.

Family ❤️ Lily: Are you guys coming to MTL / BOS game today? Jane's mama: We are! Jane's papa: I know we can't wear any Boston merch, but we'll be rooting for you! Jane: Dad! Jane's papa: We'll be rooting for both of you! Jane: You can't root for both of us. Jane's mama: No comment. . . . Lily: I was wondering if you all wanted to come to my house after? Lily: After the game, I mean Lily: Only if you want Lily: Or don't have other plans Jane's mama: We would love too! Jane's papa: Need us to pick up anything before we come over? Lily: No, thank you. I have things to make dinner. I will send address. Lily: Thank you. Jane's papa: Of course! Have fun tonight, girls! Jane's mama: Play hard! Love you both. Jane's papa emphasized this message

Ilya could not stop smiling as he got all the ingredients together to make pelmeni. He separated the dough and the meats and sauce into separate little containers so it would be easier to make once the Hollanders arrived after the game.

He imagined doing this for years to come. Maybe when he and Shane had their own home together, making food for his in-laws, for their friends and teammates. Maybe even for their children.